What is going on at the moment?

[rickman]

Message withdrawn

[nailpolish]

when i am feeling low, i come on here but dont really tend to post ABOUT my feelings, come on here to talk chit chat about other usually irrelevant subjects to take my mind off it

then again, i know why i feel down sometimes and taking my mind off it is what i need, others feel the need to say things out loud, and sometimes to strangers its better!

[mummytosteven]

I will try and answer Binkie' question.

For me it wouldn't have helped - but my particular main problem was OCD, and part of the treatment for that is learning to cope with your fears/phobias yourself without reassurance from others. I can't really say with pure depression and anxiety attacks how that would differ though.

I imagine that writing things down can be cathartic, and can help many people.

[Titania]

it does help to talk binkie. more than you think. its anonymous. and sometimes people find it easier to talk to strangers.

[Papillon]

Titania I am the same abit. My family are all in NZ. I have quite afew friends here now.. but I like the social contact. And being at home all day makes it even more vital.

I try and focus on empowering myself in little steps. I know that feeling down will only teach me certain things for awhile. Then I need to evolve... away from a situation or with it. It is often too hard to change.

[nailpolish]

dont you also think that here on mn, although its anonymous it goes way past that. no-one sees the colour of your skin, where you live, how tall you are, how old you are, how big you are, etc etc etc etc

to me that is the best thing about it, and find it so easy to see why people come here to find comfort and reassurance

[binkie]

It was a very genuine question - as on one of the threads I did have a sense that there was a very immediate crisis and having a keyboard, getting replies, being part of an exchange etc. might be a crucial staving-off experience.

On the more general point of does-it-help-or-hurt-to-talk, I'm getting a sense of its being a matter of personality. Personally I'm with rickman in that the more inward I look the worse I feel, but can fully understand that others may be the opposite.

[Lonelymum]

Oh how frustrating! I just wrote a beautiful reply to Binkie and just as I was on the last sentence, ds3 pulled the plug of the computer out! I could cry!

Anyway, most has been said already by others. I just wanted to add that MN enabled me to come out about a phobia I have had all my life and only dh knew about. I found that other people's responses helped me not to feel a fraud but to realise that I had a real problem which might even be treatable. it also brought me into contact with fellow sufferers which has been wonderfully supportive for me.

[Moomin]

Isn't this just typical about the way society views depression? Let's try to supress it, sweep it under the carpet and pretend it doesn't exist so we don't go upsetting ourselves?

I've not posted on the depression threads, niether do i read them really as it's not very relevant to the way i feel right now. but i expect i'd be bloody glad of them if i did feel very low. I was on and off the ttc for 2 years trying to cope with not getting pg and i felt pretty shit for a lot of that time but there were times when the support of these boards was just what i needed.... and some other times when i needed to be away from them too, so i'm just glad i had the choice of being able to use them or not.

what next - shall we do away with the ttc threads because they deal with some people who aren't yet mums and so don't qualify for MUMSnet?! if you don't want to read aout these problems, just steer clear! they are obviously providing an invaluable service for a huge amount of people whose feelings range from low to clinically depressed. live and let live...

and i must say it's getting a bit bloody tedious reading comments from people saying 'oh, isn't this or that topic area boring/puritan/self-indulgant/ whatever...' Leave well alone then!

not changing my name either so yah boo sucks!

[Enid]

well everyone knows I don't like the feeling depressed threads as they make me depressed - to me, logging on to mumsnet and witnessing virtual suicide is utterly grim, and when you come to think about it, truly bizarre.

I know this site is a lifeline to a lot of people but I worry that it stops people getting the RL help and support they genuinely clearly need.

[WigWamBam]

The sad thing is, Enid, that many of us who have posted on the Depression boards recently are already getting what little RL help that our NHS GPs can provide for us. There is a waiting list in my area of over 2.5 years for certain types of therapy, and the only choice my GP has is to keep giving me ads. The fact that they don't seem to be as effective as they could be doesn't make any difference; I can't get the therapies that might help me, so I am stuck with ads and taking what support I can from where I can - which has recently been Mumsnet. Some very kind and supportive people have recently helped to pull me out of a very bad patch indeed; I appreciate what you're saying about finding the threads depressing, and sometimes I can't read them myself because of the way I'm feeling, but for some they really are a lifeline.

[mummytosteven]

I would agree with what WBW says about difficulty of getting referrals from the GP to the Community Mental Health team. It was only Cod's internet digging that made me aware that you could self-refer to a CMHT.

You turn up to your GP with depression/OCD etc, and you are likely to be offered ADs and a few sessions with the practice counsellor. no choice/explanation as to the type of counselling, and whether that particular type of counselling is most suitable for you. It's a one size fits all approach. The only reason I managed to get CBT was because I had the knowledge and money to go private.

[vict17]

I think on a board like this the amount of people feeling depressed seems more becuase people use threads like a diary. No one in RL would reveal how much life gest them down that much for fear of rejection which is why people find those threadsa so helpful to write on. I think Rickman was asking a valid question posting 'if you don't like the threads don't read them' as a response isn't very helpful! (or enlightening)

[mummytosteven]

/thread hijack

I wouldn't necessarily say that about OCD these days, KS - I have found SSRI medication like Prozac and CBT (very behavioural stuff) has helped me enormously. Obviously not everyone does respond as well to SSRIs.

[purpleturtle]

I think that one of the ways posting about depression on a board like this helps is that it counters the feelings of isolation depression brings with it. Just when you feel like you're the only person in the world who could possibly feel like this, nobody understands, all the other junk that depression makes you believe, a load of wonderful, supportive women are ready to say 'Actually, I've been there, it's hard, and it does get better', or even 'I am there'. That's how posting here helps me.

[mummytosteven]

and I would say that behaviour therapy is about helping you in the struggle to control it iyswim - it's not necessarily anything fancy!

[binkie]

purpleturtle, I do see exactly how that works - thanks

[Smurfgirl]

I used to find writing stuff down about how I felt very depressing because there was absolutely nothing anyone could do to make me feel better and for me hug did crap all. I know for others though it makes them feel less alone.

I avoid the depression boards on MN because I know my advice is too harsh and thats not the tone on here.

[BadgerBadger]

In answer to Binkies question - I feel similarly to Purpleturtle.

But also, (although not on this forum) posting about issues of childhood abuse helped me to go on and seek help (in the form of psychotherapy). It gave me the opportunity to structure my thoughts and feelings to a certain extent. It also helped me to test the water, experience other peoples reactions to my childhood.

Until I first posted I truly thought it was my fault that I had been through years of physical/mental abuse. It was only by receiving a supportive reaction from posters that I felt able to approach my HV for a referral, and know that she wouldn't say "You deserved it, why on earth do you need/deserve help?" (Which quite honestly would have left me devastated.)

As for your question rickman, I think the time of year can have a detrimental effect on a lot of people, SAD is not a myth! Winter can for some also be quite isolating.

As has already been mentioned, maybe due to the supportive reactions to others in need, people in need of help now feel they can post, be supported and not judged. I don't think it means people will necessarialy post as an alternative to RL help, in fact, I think for some it is an important part of the road to seeking that help.

[whatsername]

I don't know whether any of these comments refer to my thread but I am going to reply anyway.

I posted on Sunday night because I seriously felt like I could not go on any longer. I was sat knowing that if I didn't make contact with someone and 'talk' then I was going to do something silly. It was mumsnet or the samaritans and I couldn't face talking on the phone. I knew there would be someone here who would take the time out to listen to me and offer me support. It didn't solve any of the problems which caused my feelings but knowing there was someone out there who understood and was prepared to take the time to converse with me did help, it distracted me from the immediate desire to hurt myself more than I already had.

I am still very down, and still finding it very difficult to cope but I'm not as desperate as I was on Sunday night.

I suffered from depression for 5 years when I was younger but have been clear of it for about 7 years. It has been crepping back in to my life for a few months, and seriously so since Christmas. I don't know what has changed to cause it, but that's how it is. I always thought that I could never be unhappy once I had my children. They are my reason to live. Finding out that I could still have suicidal feelings came as a shock. It upsets me myself, but it's not something I can control. If I could I wouldn't be here feeling like this now.

I'm sorry if people finding boring or difficult to read but I really needed help on Sunday night and I got it here. I really appreciate those people who were there for me and hope that I have been/will be here for others when I'm in the right mindset.

[Tortington]

i would say that over half of the topics on mumsnet are not applicable for me - following the dreary and monotonous train of thought wouldn't anything to do with pushchairs, giving birth, naming babies, nappies - how much can one say on nappies yet there are numerous threads! then there are the old debates that go round in circles, breast v bottle, to gina or not to gina hold little interest for me most of the time. i dont post on antenatal, postnatal, feelinglow, products, for sale, day trips out.

however i realise that this site is not about me it is a collection of all sorts of people with all sorts of worries and a variety of comments to agree or disagree with. i do not look on other mumsnetters as my personal source of entertainment - i think that POV quite worrying.

i have suffered severley with depression in the past -not to distant past either. and have quite mixed views on the mumsnet postings. on the one hand i think it is a testament to mumsnet and its community that people feel so able to post bout something so deeply hurtful - not only that but how many people post back saying things like " your a great mum" or "your kids will certainly not be better off without you" and putting across comments like that to think of.

however i am posting with rational mind and am aware of that when i say this: if i had been posting on the depression threads continuosly for some time i think that i may be in a rut of not just depression but also self pity - which is a part of it - and the attention that this brings.

the board itself is afantastic thing - the mumsnetters who contribute fantastically caring people. however for me personally - i dont read them or give advice becuase i know i am speaking to someone who has not got a rational thought process, therefore giving them advice to getout of the rut is very rarely acted on from what i have read.

that being said i recognise it as a useful venting tool, i find writing cathartic, and therefore understand the value of these threads.

[Dior]

Message withdrawn

[whatsername]

I have actually been thinking about this thread this evening and feeling pretty pissed off.

I have been using Mumsnet for years now, I am a regular poster and have been happy to offer advice to others over that time. I have always maintained my happy face and not let on about my depressive feelings in the past. On Sunday night I really was at the end of my tether and not sure I could go on anymore.

I am so grateful that there were people here who didn't begrudge me my moment of 'weakness'. I know it is selfish and self indulgent, but unortunately depression is a selfish illness.

I'm sorry that people find those moments tedious, it's not a barrel of laughs for those going through it either. Maybe next time I will slit my wrists rather than bore you all with my misery.