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Original poster

I'd like to give my daughter a 4th birthday party, but how do you compeate with the lavish partys they have these days ??

27 replies

mummyloveslucy · 01/12/2008 19:28

Hi, my daughter will be 4 in march. I think this year I'm going to give her a party, with all her little nursery friends.
There is 15 in her class and whenever one of them has a party, they are all envited. The partys I've been to with my daughter have been very extravegant. They always hire a venue and have bouncy castles, entertainers, face painting etc. There birthday cakes are usually works of art and the party bags are something else too.
I just can't and don't really want to compeate with that. I feel that nothing I do will match those standards.
I want my daughter to grow up finding joy in the simple things in life, hand made bunting, home made fairy cakes etc. I just think that if you set this high standard for when they're 4, what on earth will they have for their 16th? Will the parents be hireing them their own private island?
My daughter loves partys, she's just as happy having a quet little tea party as she is at the lavish doos.
What should I do, I'd like to envite all the children, I want it to be fun for them and not too much of an ordeal for the parents. Or should I just not have a nursery party again this year?

OP posts:
Cies · 01/12/2008 19:29

Don't compete.

Have the party you want to have and can afford. As you say, they are only 4. They'll love a bit of cake and some party games.

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 01/12/2008 19:33

True, I don't want the other parents to think this is a bit naff.

OP posts:
MaureenMLove · 01/12/2008 19:34

You know what? They don't need all that fuss! I bet if you do a proper, tradition home party, with jelly and icecream, pass the parcel and pin the tail etc, etc, they will have a ball!

FromGirders · 01/12/2008 19:35

I did a fourth birthday party last weekend. Didn't have any "bought-in" entertainment.
I got some crowns from baker ross to decorate (about 20p each, I think) and raided my craft stash for things to stick on. Add in some cheap glue sticks and you're sorted. (Keep all your sweet wrappers from christmas). Had a couple of games of pass the parcel, some musical bumps and ring games (here we go round the mulberry bush, ring-a-roses) and lots of balloons. That was it. Psrty bags had one thing in them, plus a fun-size choc bar and a lolly. Kids had a great time, a couple of mums said they thought it was a really good party (don't know them awfully well, recently moved to area).
Sometimes, traditional and low-key makes a nice change.

theITgirl · 01/12/2008 19:36

I also refuse to do the whole entertainer/bouncy castle thing.
After my DD's party I was congratulated on a lovely party and that it was fantastic to go to a proper old-fashioned party again.
I have also noticed that there have been quite a few on the same theme since.

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 01/12/2008 19:36

I don't think they'd all fit in our house though, especially if you add parents. If it was a summer birthday it would be ideal, as they could go in the garden.

OP posts:
Kbear · 01/12/2008 19:36

kids love traditional "at home" parties - they get so many McD's/soft play/bowling type parties it is a novelty to play games. Buy a party CD or make one up and have dancing competitions, musical bumps etc, pass the parcel, simon says, calm it down with some princessy colouring (print from web) and bit of cake in a party bag and bob's yer uncle!

Kbear · 01/12/2008 19:37

and you don't have to invite everyone...

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 01/12/2008 19:41

Sounds great FromGirders I'll be using you tip for the crowns and sweetie papers, definately.

OP posts:
Buckets · 01/12/2008 19:41

Have you got room in the garden (or someone else's) to pitch a tent and gazebo and do an outdoor one? Hotdogs and cocoa for kids, mugs of soup for grownups, (invite parents and sibs), bubble machine, treasure hunt round the garden, fun in the tent, newspaper on the floor inside of course, fairy lights and torches if later, movement games to keep warm. Keep it to 90mins and mark invitations with start/end times and outdoor dress code.

Smithagain · 01/12/2008 19:42

For DD1's fourth birthday party we had a picnic, with food and hide and seek. No frills whatsoever. Two and a half years later, the parents who came are still going on about how lovely it was.

Not suggesting you have a picnic in December, but I was struck by how relieved everyone seemed that we had gone for something simple where the kids could just play, without the full-on bouncy castle/soft play/entertainer/disco gubbins that stresses little kids out so much.

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 01/12/2008 19:42

YOu know what you don't have to - I threw DS2 a birthday party at home on Saturday.

He only invited 8 friends (6 of which came, plus one of their older siblings - my BF's older DD, and another friends DS who I invited).

We played

Musical bumps, statues and islands (pieces of newspaper on the floor rather than chairs)
Pass the parcel
Balloon relay (balloon between knees, run to the end of the room with it between knees, give ot the next person in your team and so on until the last person in the team had finished)
and a "dress someone" (my oldest DS and my BF's older DD) up as a mummy - each team given 2 rolls of toilet paper and had to wrap them up as mummy's - the first team to either finish the roll, or wrap their mummy was the winner - they spent about 10 minutes after each child had "broken out" of their toilet roll playing with the "snow" in the lounge/diner and having lots of fun being silly
They also did some dancing to a kids party CD which my BF brought.

We had jelly, icecream, cheese sandwiches,, ham sandwiches, fairy cakes, etc etc (which they sat on the floor to eat as I don't have enough chairs

They all took home a party bag which contained.................a piece of birthday cake

They all had lots of fun and the time flew by.

mellyonion · 01/12/2008 19:43

my dd has jut had her 5th party at HOME!

she hd muscal statues, musical bumps, pas the parcel, cake, pop etc...

all the kids loved it because it was different to all the other "put on" parties!

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 01/12/2008 19:44

oh and DS1's 8th birthday party in September, although a little more "modern" was still pretty simply

invited 5 of his friends, we had a McDonald's meal (just a standard go in and order the food job - not a McDonald's party)
Then we walked back to my house and they played on the PS2 for 2hrs (was a PS2 party) and I provided a big bowl of crisps and some pizza for them to munch on. Again they all really loved it.

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 01/12/2008 19:44

Kbear, I would have to envite them all, as Lucy has been envited to all of their partys. There are only 15 and they are all very close, they play at each others houses etc too.

OP posts:
MrsWeasleyStrokesSantasSack · 01/12/2008 19:45

We had this situation with DD (a few years ago) so we invited her friends to a traditional birthday party. We did do it in a hired hall but it was only £20 to hire and easier than having it in my small house.(well it was with all my clutter)

We did traditional games, pin the tail on the donkey, pass the parcel, musical statues/bumps, etc, we filled extra time with pinata (this takes ages with 4 year olds ) and dancing, esp little girls they love to dance. Just remembered the favourite games was an impromptu game of the limbo, I was holding th pinata stick up and everyone started dancing around me and they didnt want to stop.

I also baked a load of fairy cakes and let the kids ice them with icing and sprinkles (yes this was messy but the sprinkles were easy to hoover up)I did this towards the end of the party. The cakes went home with the part bag.

With 4 year olds you can also have a pile of colouring sheets to entertain or put one in party bags.

We said people could come in fancy dress if they wanted, some did some didn't!

It was the best party ever. Make sure you have a few grown ups who will dance with LO and help them with games. Have some music CDs with childrens songs/nursery rhymes.

Also keep them wanting more by not having it too long, we did 1.5 hours 2 hours can be to long, its best for everyone to end on a high rather than thinking "when will this end" ifyswim.

Good luck hope it all goes well.

goldFAQinsenceandmyrrh · 01/12/2008 19:45

MLL - I had 11 in my house on Saturday - was a bit squashed but lots of fun

Buckets · 01/12/2008 19:46

Or hire a village hall, get lots of adult helpers and organise the games, songs, stories yourself. Help out at pre-school one day to learn the songs they know and borrow a 'big book' from the library.
I did this for my DD's 4th, it had a fairy&folklore theme and I wore a cocktail dress, wings and wand and MC'd the whole thing myself! Think some of the parents were a bit stunned but the kids loved it. I also did a tower of cupcakes (using cakestands etc) instead of a birthday cake and sent the kids in pairs to choose their own at the end.

FromGirders · 01/12/2008 19:48

I did have mine in a hall, but then there were 24 children!

Original poster
mummyloveslucy · 01/12/2008 19:49

The outdoor tent party sounds good, it would be freezing though in March.

OP posts:
twentypence · 01/12/2008 19:50

We have been to parties in people's houses with ds and more recently the flash type you are suggesting. He doesn't want to leave either party.

I think we will see the resurgence of the 1970s style party with party games and sausage rolls. Maybe even from Greggs.

Buckets · 01/12/2008 19:52

Weekend lunchtime would be ok for outdoors! Just write this on the invites: 'no such thing as inappropriate weather, just inappropriate clothing'

Your lawn might not survive, mind.

fridayschild · 01/12/2008 20:00

We had a party at home when DS1 was 5 and it was great. Just lots of traditional games and only 90 minutes long. If there are no entertainers you need plenty of people to help - I'm guessing you will know the mums who are likely to stay, so just get them to commit in advance to work while they're there. I find it easier for me to do a party if there's a theme - helps to plan the games and settle the menu.

I'm veering towards parties at home as better for the child. DS2's party was in the local sports hall, and DS1 was completely in bits with the excitement of it all, in tears because he wanted to win the pass the parcel at our own party etc. And this weekend we were at a 6th birthday in a hall, and the birthday girl was overcome and hid in the corner for most of the time.

mashedbanana · 01/12/2008 20:36

i'm hiring the church hall for my dd who will be 4 did it last year cost me £10 for 3 hours.children came in fancy dress had traditional party food.played pass the parcel each child got a musical instrument i got for £1 each from tesco.played pin the tail on the donkey and musical chairs.all the children loved it.

veryunhappychappy · 01/12/2008 20:37

I would also go retro and do jelly and ice-cream, pass the parcel etc -much more fun than a bouncy castle and a private island dahling!