builders: anyone else find they don't listen to women?

[Jzee]

I'm currently having my loft room re-vamped with a bathroom and the electrics in the rest around the rest of our house are also being done. Just found out that the electrician has changed the electrics in our front room even though I specifically told him not to. The builder has bought the wrong size doors and he now also tells me the expensive shower door I bought may not fit! DH is not happy, I'm pregnant and now feel in a really bad mood. Does anyone else find that builders treat women differently to men?

Have had the same with the garage, trying to convince me the car didn't have an oil leak. It took 2 visits, the first tey admitted they hadn't put the oil filter back properly and the second time they blamed it on a faulty washer.

mmm they are another breed that I've had problems with in the past. One minute when they are talking to me our car is falling apart and not road worthy, then when dh enquires there is nothing wrong with the car and everything is fine!

If anyone out there has any tips on getting builders to actually come and start the job, I'd be grateful.
We've had plenty come and look at the job and say yes, but what you have to do to get beyond that, other than ringing and ringing, is a mystery.

It was murder even getting a quote - I guess the good ones are just so busy. We booked our 4 months in advance after they tried to fob us off, we're busy at the moment call in a couple of months.

Droile,I too have experienced that same problem. I've had workmen around to provide a quote which I sometimes never receive or receive it 12 weeks later! I've been doing up my house for the past 3 years and have come to the conclusion that if they can't provide a start date and stick to it, then don't use them - the alarm bells are already ringing. I'm waiting for the day when the property market slows down and they are then begging us for work at reasonable rates!

Oh yes. I really identify with the segment on the Fast Show where Arabella Wier is the "invisible woman".

In fact most builders / mechanics here are even worse. They always talk to dp, even though my Spanish is considerably better than his. It drives me mad.

We had our bathroom redone recently - the builders weren't too bad, but the bloke who fitted the flooring really tried to take the p* (in keeping with the lavatorial theme, perhaps). Once the lino was down, the toilet door didn't close... at all! He mentioned this after he packed up and was halfway out the front door. He then very grudgingly planed the door, grumbling that the sawdust would make a mess. Hmmm... hoover for 2 mins, or pee in full view - tough choice!

JZee - This attitude is endemic in the building industry I'm afraid - One of my favourite things (as a female Architect) is watching foremen squirm as they try to explain to me why they didn't listen to the "wifey" who is, after all, their client

babster - why did you have to hoover? Builder's clean doesn't equate to normal people's clean - but they should always tidy up their mess. A useful phrase is to point to their working area and pile of debris and ask "would you call this a completed job?" - they usually clean up (if grudgingly).

We've just had some work done on our house, and, as I was the person they were dealing with, it was me who made the appointments and chose who was doing the work. I couldn't believe how many refused to come out as my husband wouldn't be there (One told me it was because it is easier to get the job signed up there and then with both parties there). One window company (not mentioning any names but it's the one with the annoying loudmouthed man)actually said to me that they wouldn't come out without my husband been here as 'women are incapable of making a logical decision', needless to say they didn't get the job.

YES! Thought it was just me

Janeway - I was dying for a wee so glad to get him out of the house! Mostly the builders did clean up well, to give them due credit.

Try being married to one!!!! Not only does he not listen to me because I'm female, but he doesn't listen to me because I'm his wife. And then he doesn't listen to me because I'm an architect.

Chiccadum - I am totally gobsmacked still at the comment that was made to you!!! You should complain to the "windows" ombudsman,(if there is such a thing?) or their professional association

Anyhoo - I went through a HUGE building project - and indeed found these attitudes to be the case, but it depended on the builder/tradesman in question. The plasterers and decorators were, to a man (except the tiler, who interestingly was a woman and did a fab job in v. little time) aboslutely foul mouthed, rude and crass AND checked their rubbish in and around my garden, and in the woods opposite, which belong to my neighbour. However, with the main bulk of the lads, they knew I was the one in charge (DH away most of the time, and I spent a LOT of time being "nice" (but not too nice, I told them where they could get off when they started asking for cups of tea, cheeky gits). I would ask them nicely for updates, reports etc, and check up on their progress and require good explanations for any work not done. My DH and I used to play "good cop/bad cop" with them (oooh - you'd better get this done before my wife finds out or she'll go MAD, or this better be done by the time my husband gets home, or he'll want to know why he's been away for a week, and you STILL haven't finished the plumbing etc) Worked quite well. But as with most men (no flaming please) builders need "handling" and never EVER try shouting, or they just look at you with the "yep - hysterical woman" look...

LOL SofiaAmes!

Stand up for yourselves, and if possible pick up on some industry terminology (eg query the earthing on any electrical work being done) - they hate it !

A long time ago, when I was doing my professional training (as an electrical engineer) I encountered a really stroppy Scottish foreman (no, not got anything against Scots, you've got be able to 'hear' the accent)

'So when's the boss coming ?'

I am the boss

'I'm not working for a f*ing' tart'

I am not a tart, you work for me or you get off MY site

15 years later, even though I'm a SAHM now, he still rings me as we've stayed in touch but as he says it's 'cos I had the bottle to tell him where to get off and I proved I knew my job better than most of the blokes he'd met'

I've recently been doing a plumbing job which went a bit pear-shaped and found that by dealing with the local plumber's merchant (as oppose to a DIY store) they fell over themselves trying to help me (as a token woman), but, I suspect, only because I went in asking for their 'superior' advice. I HATED having to ask for help but it saved me a fortune so I'd do it again.

not having had any building work done - I can't contribute there but mine is more a mechanical one - I love it when they would talk to Dh about the work being done to my car. He never even drove it until recently but they would still ask him about it. Or the guy who wanted to start ripping and sawing my dash apart to sort out the heating!! Dh said a polite no thank you and when we looking in the manual - it was a one spanner job ( very easy) and required no hacksawing of the dash!!!

Since retired, one year ago, been doing lots of home improvements. Encountered so many problems with builders, been an elderly, french woman, living on my own I get lots of men commenting on not been able to speak to the 'man of the house'.
In my humble opinion, there are many builders who are just glorified DIY without much education and probably brought up in believing the world cannot go round without men!
I am not a feminist but totallly go mad when a man in front of me tries to override my requirements just because he is a man.
Had a guy doing a pond that was supposed to be for frogs, what does he do? put a high edge he concrete in so I actually had to go and save the frogs from not been able to jump out.
A constant battle telling me they know better, sorry dear, this is my home and I do know what I want.
I had a landscaper who tiled 10cm above the damp level, yes it looked so nice but I then had to spend lots of money to have it all remoed as water was entering my bricks extension.
Had some builders trying to charge vat when they are not vat registered.
Had my reviews rejected by checkatrade, which trusted traders and others simply because they won't admit some builders are not ok and very rudely trying to abuse just because I am just a little elderly woman.
Still, almost at the end of home improvements.