So angry. 5yr olds been told Father Christmas not real.

[skiingmummy]

Grrr I'm so angry I just had to share this.

I gave a classmate of my son (they're not even friends) a lift to a party yesterday and on the way there my son and I were chatting about stuff including Christmas and Santa (my 5yr old is getting v excited about xmas) and the next thing this other child says "Father Christmas isn't real". I just said "who told u that" and the reply was my Mummy. Of course my son then asked me 'is Father xmas real' to which I replied 'of course'. When this other lad told me I was lying I just said well you believe what your Mummy tells u and my son will believe what I tell him and this 5yr old then says " oh are you keeping it secret". So not only have his parents ruined the magic of Christmas for their children they're going to ruin it for everyone else.

Am I overreacting here? We never had money as children but it didn't stop Christmas being magical with the anticipation of Father Christmas coming and then the reality of finding that your stocking had been magically filled. We never had lots of stuff and it was never ever expensive but the thrill of finding a couple of tangerines and a couple of small toys was amazing and I can still remember the feelings of excitement.

Am I wrong to want that for my 3 and 5yr olds?

I was absolutely mad yesterday and can't decide whether I should say something to this childs Mum about he shouldn't be telling other children coz its not fair. I don't want to criticize their parenting but equally why should they spoil Christmas for the rest of the children? I'm not thick I know they'll find out that hes not real sooner or later but isn't that the point - shouldn't we let children find out for themselves? I'm sure at 5 they're not even going to consider that santa isn't real unless someone specifically tells them.

Am I overreacting? Should I say something?

Any opinions gratefully received and apols this is long and ranting but I'm still mad/upset/sad and I've potentially got to face this mum tomorrow at school. When I took the boy back after the party I dashed off as soon as the mum answered the door as I didn't trust myself to be calm and civil - I was soooo cross.

What do people think?

I think you can still salvage it. Tell him that Santa only comes to boys and girls who believ and when they stop their mums and dads have to start buyting the presents. Mine have fallen for that, or at least played along ,and its still magical. 5 is a great age and I think he, like the other boy, willbelieve everything that comes out of his mother's mouth (even though he will hear all sorts at school).This way, even if he mentions this to the other boy, his friend can't argue- Santa doesn't come to his house because his mum and dad get the presents.

we don't do FC at all

WE buy the presents and FC is just a nice story

Sorry but I would probably lmao if you came round my house all riled up because my child had told your child FC wasn't real

because

sherby, see my point below about banks...

But why deliberately lie to children? How can that be justified?

Rather try being a little evasive? Don't say yes or no. Just bat it back to your son if it comes up again with a "what do you think?" and he'll carry on believing what he wants to believe

You are being totally ridiculous, intolerant of other beliefs and parenting styles and you are making a huge assumption that someone sat that child down and told him anything.

My dh and I are atheists, however we have always celebrated Christmas and more recently Chanukah too. Our ds believed in santa claus until he was 5 and his little sister (3 at the time) told him that he didn't exist and was a ridiculous thing to believe in. Neither the notion that santa claus was real, nor the one that he didn't exist came from either of us parents sitting down anyone and telling them the truth or a lie. In fact my dd believes in God and my ds does not and they have constant fights about who is right. None of that comes from dh and I sitting them down either. They are bright articulate children who listen to everything around them and make decisions. When they ask us, we don't tell them lies or what to believe...we just give them the space to make their own choices. And this is evidenced by two children living in the same household (and in fact sharing a room) who have diametrically opposed ideas on santa claus and God. (As it happens neither bought the concept of the Tooth Fairy).

Shouldn't you save your anger and energy for helping your children sort out the complicated things in life instead of whether or not a playmate expressed a correct opinion on santa claus?

That's horrible ,her telling him that Santa isn't real ,and spoiling the magic he should not have told your son ,I would say something to the mother ,he cannot be board casting that ,this is so sad it's not on I have lovely memories of believing in Santa ,