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I am having a nighmare with my compulsive liar friend

82 replies

Keane · 10/03/2005 14:57

Its really getting out of control

I have known her for years, from school. Even then she would lie. Her Dad had an affair when she was about 11 and her Mum walked out and never spoke to them again. I know it hit her hard, that is why I try to understand her.

I have broken off the friendship before. Main reason was that she told me her Mum had died, then a few months after she must have forgot all this and told me she had seen her Mum and she had totally ignored her. She also told me her Dad had Aids. Which I later found out was a lie This was on top of lots of other "lies", which she told me and everyone else who was friends with her.

Anyway a few years ago I bumped into her again. She gave me yet another sob story and I let her "back in" so to speak. She "seemed" to be having a really bad time and I tried to be there for her. After about a year, i started to doubt what she was telling me and tried to cool it a bit. But just lately she has got into financial trouble. I am too soft, I know I am, but I lent her money. Recently she borrowed, I say "borrowed" but she doesnt actually repay me, 350 pound. Money that we needed, as she was in a right pickle again. I have just found out of a friend of a friend that she has booked a holiday abroad this year, a villa with pool in Italy for her, her partner and 3 kids.

I feel sick. We havent had a holiday for 3 years! I feel like I have been taken for mug. I cant help worrying that she has some kind of mental illness, although she had counselling before. Thats why I am worrying about her. or is she just taking me for the sucker I am?

OP posts:
Cod · 10/03/2005 17:58

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hunkermunker · 10/03/2005 17:59

Agree with Cod. She's using you to get money, then using emotional blackmail so that you don't tell her you mind. It's not a friendship now anyway, so don't worry about losing a friend.

Keane · 10/03/2005 18:00

forgot to say, thank you everyone for the advice. i know I have to sut off from her. i do realise this is not healthy, I just needed to be told from people who dont know

OP posts:
Cod · 10/03/2005 18:00

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Cod · 10/03/2005 18:01

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whymummy · 10/03/2005 18:05

oh keane,what a horrible situation,i had a friend like that,not so much of a lier but thought the world owed her,she did ask for money a few times but i refused,her in laws gave her £400 and never returned it saying she was skinned while at the same time she was buying flat screen television and lots of furniture and clothes,i would just ask for it,it wouldn't bother me one bit having to ask for it back,no when the person is taking the piss.

whymummy · 10/03/2005 18:05

fio?is that you?

Keane · 10/03/2005 18:07

hello whymummy

I cant ring her again so soon she will have anervous breakdown down the phone and I need wine first to cope with that

OP posts:
whymummy · 10/03/2005 18:08

skinned?skint,lol

Cod · 10/03/2005 18:08

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Keane · 10/03/2005 18:09

yes whymummy I will have to get skinned first

OP posts:
whymummy · 10/03/2005 18:09

i was wondering where you were

Cod · 10/03/2005 18:09

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Keane · 10/03/2005 18:10

cod I know you are right
if my dh found out he would go mad

OP posts:
WideWebWitch · 10/03/2005 19:03

Agree with everyone, call her and get the money, ideally all at once and then ditch her.

Cod · 10/03/2005 19:04

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hunkermunker · 10/03/2005 19:07

Can you invent a crisis that you have to have money for, lay it on a bit thick with her, then laugh like this: MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! when she pays up and you can tell her that you've got what you wanted?

We'll all help with crisis invention, I'm sure

fairyfly · 10/03/2005 19:09

Tell her ff's kids have just bloody poured water over her dvd player and now shagged it completely

bundle · 10/03/2005 19:15

don't make up any reasons. just ask. and don't take no for an answer. tell her to get a bank loan to pay you back. or borrow off some other mug.

Cod · 10/03/2005 19:20

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Cod · 10/03/2005 19:22

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bundle · 10/03/2005 19:23

write it down. rehearse it (with glass of wine) and talk over her if necessary. say " i don't think you understand" when she tries to make up excuses. but please do it. we'll all cheer afterwards.

Cod · 10/03/2005 19:23

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Cod · 10/03/2005 19:25

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bundle · 10/03/2005 19:26

buying shoes

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