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My surpise wedding plan, would you be offended?

32 replies

scarymcclary · 25/10/2008 21:18

I dread big weddings, my dp wants a big-do. Therefore we have put it off for the last 6years just simply because we cant agree (and money is also an issue). I dispise gift lists, i think they are very impersonal and vulgar. I hate the stress of being a guest, the finding something to wear and the typical after parties are too same old same old for my own personal tastes.
However i have a plan! Its something we actually both agree on and we think we are gonna go for it. Just want to run it past you lot to guage reactions.

Its dp`s 40th in march and im going to invite all our friends and family to a surprise birthday party for him, or so they will be led to believe. Everyone will be in informal smart casual clothes and the venue a local golf club. This venue is licenced for wedding ceremonies.
When the guests arrive they will be expecting to be jumping out on dp and basically the whole surprise bithday thing. But they will actually be there to see us get married instead!

We have agreed we will be telling his parents and mine the truth well in advance so they dont feel left out on the planning - but we will be insisting that its casual. We may also tell some of those who live a long way away otherwise they may choose not to come to a simple birthday party, but a wedding they would be more likely to attend. In total we would probobly only tell 10 people out of 200.

Big party after and light food and thats it!

I am even considering wearing jeans! Just for the unusualness of it - i love to be different!

What do you think? Would you be offended, upset or even angry that you had been hoaxed in this way?
Or do you think its an ace plan as i do?

OP posts:
nooOOOoonki · 25/10/2008 21:45

My friend did something similar - met everyone for a meal marched them to the registry office next door then went for a meal,

they had a fab time

scarymcclary · 25/10/2008 21:46

i was going to surprise dp! But apparently i cant. I have to, rather WE have to apply together for the licence.

OP posts:
BroccoliSpears · 25/10/2008 21:47

EVERYONE (including the lovely and helpful denizens of Mumsnet) told me I'd regret not wearing something a bit special to get married in. EVERYONE was horrified at the idea of me wearing a pair of cords and whichever top happened to be clean on the day. I ended up in quite a tizz about it. In the end I did what I wanted (brown cords and a clean t-shirt) and it was absolutely the right thing for me to wear. If jeans are right for you, wear jeans. Wear what is right for YOU.

saggyhairyarse · 25/10/2008 21:49

Maybe have a look in the January sales?

Not necessarily for a big white merengue, not sure what your style is, but for something a bit special that IS you.

saggyhairyarse · 25/10/2008 21:50

Exactly BS, deffo choose something you are happy with and if you do look and keep going back to your jeans then that is telling you something! Just maybe worth considering other options?

Heated · 25/10/2008 21:55

Ohhh fabulous idea!

I wouldn't tell the parents personally if there's any chance of the secret slipping out or if they'd interfere. Your dp could ask your dad's permission, the one nod to tradition, just before getting married

You could go with the jeans & T or start a MNer search for something avant garde. We like a challenge!

scarymcclary · 25/10/2008 21:58

That IS a good idea! Start a thread askin for help chosing an outfit! FAB!

May well do that soonish
Will see which way dp wants to go first.

Nah, parents are good as gold. They wont tell, im 99% sure.

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