Why is it that people are so obsessed with testing for Downs syndrome, when there are so many other disabilities which cannot be tested for, that are far, far worse?

[wannaBe]

It baffles me.

When we fall pregnant we are offered tests, and scans, most, although not all of which relate to the detection of Downs Syndrome.

At 12 weeks we are offered a nuchal fold scan to determine the likelyhood of the baby having downs, and women over 35 are routinely offered anmio to detect whether the baby has downs.

92% of pregnancies where Downs is detected are terminated .

And yet there are lots of other disabilities, such as cerebral palsy, autism, other disabilities which cause learning difficulties, which cannot be detected in utero, but which can be much, much worse than downs.

So what is it about Downs that is so scary?

Or would people have far more stressful pregnancies if all disabilities could be tested for, and would they feel that they had to be sure their baby would be perfect?

Yes, thank you LittleMyDancing. And good luck.

oh god yes sixspot - I find it hilarious when people are surprised by things dd1 does or says. They have a preconcieved notion of how a child with sn or down syndrome should behave and when she challenges that - they are surprised.

LMD - another cross post! congratulations, and good luck with your pregnancy.

And this is not the first time you've tried to misrepresent me pag. I'm not telling you to go away because you don't agree with me but because I don't really understand why you come on here just to insult people and complain about them. I thought the point of a discussion is that you discuss??

i hope all goes well for your testing next week. It is quite an anxious time. Try to take care of yourself.

'Of course you didn't spot Rivens humour.
You don't do humour.'

Or perhaps because it's not funny??

I am afraid I had all those misconceptions/pre-conceptions myself, eidsvold, prior to having DS1. (Not that he has DS, obviously, but his admittedly very mild SN were an entry to the whole world of SN for me). It is shameful to admit, but it is true.

5
Actually the only person I am insulting is you.
I am having a perfectly reasonable discussion with everyone else.

Don't pout. It is most unbecoming.

You think she meant this to be funny??

'actually 5candles, my teenage dd has been much harder for so many reasons. And has left scars that will never go away. dd2 doesn't leave scars from her hardships. We face them and overcome them.'

Be very careful before attacking or insulting people pag. Make sure you understand what they are saying first perhaps?

Silverfrog...
why ,for me personally, the thought of having a child with Downs syndrome would be so scary
-because a child grows up to become an adult and then may well be dependent on the parrents as much as a child.

• because they have the temper of the child combined in an adult body

-because, if me and dh die someone else will have to care for a child we would have decided to have....(and I know we all could die tomorrow and it would be the same thing then...but, that would be a depressing thought)

like I said in an earlier post....I have not been in the position to have to make a decision like this, so, I really don't know how I owuld decide if I would find myself in that position, because by the time you are around 20 weeks pg, it's a real Baby, not just a mass off cells...and i Know that I always felt very protective of my Babies...but the above reasons would be what I owuld have to consider as well as everything else....

Oh fivecandles. All of us who "know" riven from SN thought her first post about teenagers was funny.

Of course her second one - the one you have just quoted - isn't "funny". But it is very thought-provoking in this context, isn't it?

SixSpot

But I think we all do that. Don't we.
I am actually more stunned now when someone deals confidently and appropriately with DS2 having had no previous experience of him or SN.
Several of DS1's friends have amazed me with their ability to be unfazed and ask questions without being hugely wide of the mark.

five
I know what Riven meant
I am quite happy that I understand what I am saying.

I think it is you who remains clueless.

Rivens posts often give me huge amounts to think about.

For me, and I really don't know what I would have decided if I had been diagnosed as carrying a DS child in pregnancy, I would be worried most about the link with heart defects (almost half), link with gut problems and thyroid gland etc perhaps over and above learning difficulties.

I don't think any of these concerns could be dismissed as purely a matter of prejudice (mine or other people's). They are all issues which COULD affect a child's and its parents quality of life.

littlemydancing, thank you for sharing your experience. I hope all goes well with this pregnancy.

Fivecandles, are your students running riot while you are here on mumsnet?

um.

it's "child with ds" not "ds child". the disability does not define the child.

Well, everyone has a different idea about what makes something funny

I actually find linking having a child with severe disabilities for life to having a teenager quite offensive and I know parents with disabled children who get very angry about such comparisons.

Work part time

ROLF at 5

"I know parents with disabled children who get very angry about such comparisons".

See look - you do do funny

Very few people are scared of parenting a sweet baby or beautiful child with Downs. What scares (terrifies!) people is the prospect of either lifelong dependency, dying while your adult child is still childlike, and/or having to find care for your adult child which you suspect isn't what you'd really like for them. Yes, of course all children can grow up with all sorts of issues, but as an older parent, my dh and I agreed that if your baby had Downs we would of course love him or her, I certainly worried that if our baby had Downs (especially as older parents) that we would have to leave a childlike adult without us in the world. I know plenty of parents who have a child with a LD who go on to have three or more kids in order to provide siblings who will support each other in supporting or caring for or keeping an eye out for the child with disabilities.
I worry myself sick about the future of my child with mild SN, and often find it isolating and difficult to be different. You may think me horrible, weak, whatever, but that was my fear. I didn't have an amnio in the end though.

mabanana

I think fear for a childs future is a big issue. I don't think that is weak to consider at all.