There a couple of issues that I still feel strongly about.
The assumption that those people who choose a termination do so out of fear or ignorance rather than out of a considered, informed and agonisingly personal choice.
It's not just a question of PERCEPTION.
People's fears are often perfectly legitimate. It IS hard to bring up a disabled child regardless of the reasons. Of course the problems may be partly or wholly because of other people's prejudice, or the lack of support or the system rather than the child's needs themselves but these are still problems regardless of where they're coming from and whose fault they are.
Yes, I would be afraid of bringing up a child with a severe disability including Downs not because I am ignorant about Downs in fact precisely for the opposite reasons.
It was MY CHOICE to opt for antenatal testing and it would be MY CHOICE how I responded to any results from those tests (and I can't be 100% sure how I would have responded if faced with the reality) but my personal decison feelings and choices are exactly that - personal - and I really don't think what i would or did or might choose has anything to do with how I feel about other people's choices which I absolutely don't ahve any opinion about in that I respect whatever anyone else feels is right for them and their family.
2.) That is not to say that if I had given birth to a disabled child or if my children should become disabled for any reason I wouldn't have loved them just as much or cared for them because I know that I would have. But I still may have chosen to terminate the pregnancy BEFORE they had become actual people as the earlier poster said. I certainly would have wanted the choice and the information.
What I mean is that the two positions are not necessarily incompatible.
i.e. to value and love your disabled child but to wish that you'd had the option of termination before it had become a child IYSWIM
And to say oh well you can't possibly know until you've been in that position of course is true but it doesn't mean your choices are any less valid.
My choosing a termination does not mean that I wouldn't have loved the child if it HAD been born IYSWIM but that wouldn't make my choice to terminate any less the right choice IYSWIM. Talking hypothetically here.
And those parents who HAVE got disabled children shouldn't see other people choosing terminations for the same condition for example as in any way a reflection of their feelings about the parent with the disabled child or the child itself.
I personally have chosen to only have 2 children, that doesn't mean I think that is the right choice for everyone or that I don't respect others' choices to have more thatn 2 children. But the fact that I am certain that if I had a 3rd child I would love that child doesn't undermine the validity of my choice not to or the rightness for me.
Does this make any sense.
And I'm glad jimjams that people do feel they can talk about their decisions to terminate etc just that earlier posters were saying that they'd never come across people who felt that way. And there are certainly some people on this thread who I would find very difficult to talk to honestly given their very hardline attitudes and judgments.