Will your kids always be perfect??!!!

[AngieL]

I just wondered if when your kids are grown up with families of their own, whether you will admit they have faults.

My mil refuses to see that anything her golden boy does is wrong! Do you think that this will be the case when your kids are older or do you think you might be able to offer some support to their spouse/partner?

I admit that they have faults now! I know them and I love them

What? A spouse or partner? What would he want one of those for when he has his darling mama...?

There isn't anyone who will be ever good enough to partner my children !

Provided DS1 marries the girl we've picked out for him since birth, he can do no wrong

I'd hasten to add that this is the DD of a friend fromantenatal classes. We have her DD2 lined up for my DS2 as well. We can dream!

Seriously though, I think I'd recognise their faults and love them anyway, provided it wasn't anything bad. However, I really struggle to imagine my DSs grown up with a family partly because I can't imagine myself at my parents' ages. Becoming a mother really made me change my feelings about my parents because I realised that how I feel about my DSs is how they feel about me. Weird!

Good question angiel, will we all turn into the mils from hell? Well, I can certainly see ds' faults now so I can imagine I'll still be able to when he's grown and married! Although I love him of course, faults and all.

Is this more of a concern for mothers of sons? Can't wait to meet my daughter's boyfriends, think it'll bring out the dirty old woman in me!

How can we avoid becoming m-i-ls from hell? I mean most (!) of our m-i-ls must have been human once, why do they become such ogres? I've tried to get this discussion going before but never had much response, but I really am interested - fortunately it's not a problem for me (in laws haved both died) but my DM has the most terrible relationship with her DIL, yet I think DM is perfectly reasonabole (well, I would be biased) - what can WE do as mothers to avoid these problems in the future.

And no, I wouldn't even consider my DS 'perfect' now - certainly not as he gets near his 2nd birthday!

What gets me is she is quick to point out the faults in her 2 sil's, but if I dare to mention that dh actually does the same, it is either ignored or I must have done something to annoy him!!

My dm is actually very considerate towards her 2 dil's and will tell my brothers in no uncertain terms if she thinks they are out of order.

I hope that I can be like this to my children's spouses. You don't have to stop loving them to disapprove of some of their behaviour!

as my DH doesn't have a very good relationship with his DM but I and my sisters have a great close relationship with our DM, I am very aware of what life might be like for me and my DS in the future and it saddens me already. I do believe that, in general, the mother/daughter link is very strong but the mother/son link is much looser. I am hoping that if and when I become someones MIL I will remember what it was like being a DIL and act accordingly. Finger's crossed.

And AngieL, years ago I would have said that my MIL didn't think that I was good enough for her darling DS but now, she probably thinks we deserve each other.

there is a big difference between realising that your kids have faults and admitting to others that they do..

Er, I don't think my kids are perfect now. Neither am I, or DH, or anybody... I get a lot of flack for saying that DD wasn't a beautiful baby -- well, she wasn't. And so what? And even if thought DS was a beautiful baby, I sure don't think he's the world's prettiest. Does it matter?? I don't love them any different; they are equal quality human beings. I just hope the adult DS comes home some time; I expect him to jaunt around the world at first opportunity.
McKenzie: I totally disagree with you. I think sons definitely (usually) get along better with mothers, DDs better with their dads. Nothing set in stone, & notwithstanding specific personality conflicts. I can't remember ever liking or confiding in my mom. Not ever.

And my MIL isn't from Hell... .quite the contrary, really. Definitely prefer her to my own mom, too.

My mother thought that she was being a good MIL when she told Dh That in any argument that we had she would always take his side! So basicaly I was always in the wrong, regardless of the facts of the case. Is it any wonder I get on better with my MIL than with my mother!

I am a MIL!!! My DIL is lovely and it just makes my heart sing to see DS and DIL so much in love.

Although I will admit to getting ticked off by DIL at Xmas. She said I wasn't in touch often enough - so much for trying to give them their own space and not interfering, LOL!