I need to rant at you lot because if I rant at dp all hell will break loose or I will collapse into a rather pathetic sobbing mess.

[twinsetandpearls]

I am supposed to be going to my grandmas ( who passed away earlier in the week) to sort through her belongings, pick an outfit for the funeral etc. It is a 3 hour drive. My grandad was going to collect me and take me. He has been taken unwell so cannot do it. My mum is waiting for me in Cornwall and I know she is annoyed I did not come down straight after school last night but I was too tired after my first full week at a new school.

Dp could drive me but he is in a foul mood over the heating incident, he knows I need a lift to Cornwall but has not offered to take me and instead has been wandering about the house randomly snapping at dd and I and is now unpacking the garage. I know if I ask dp he will flip.

I would go on public transport but it is not easy as the train only goes to Exeter \and then I have to wait for a coach and then another bus. The services are very unfrequent and I am having to take loads of packing boxes and I have to bring lots of things back and mum only has a tiny car.

On top of that I am feeling really rough.

Rant away

I am going to ask a really stupid q - can you take the car?

Make things easier for you

I don't drive.

See I said it was a stupid q.

And I am sorry for your loss.

Now, how long will it take you to get there by public transport - would it be worth it to suck up DP's sulking just for today then have it all out with him tomorrow?

sympathy- hard if you're having to tread on egg shells.

can I call him some names on your behalf?

oooh yes - a name calling-fest

Could you ask a friend? Or can you throw some money at the problem - these are very special circumstances after all - so train to Exeter then taxi the rest of the way. Pack things up and have them couriered wherever you want them.
If Dp asks why you are eating baked beans for the rest of the month I'm sure you will take great pleasure in telling him!

It is not the sulking that bothers me he will explode.

I could come back with my mum in her car but we need to bring all her belongings back as the landlord says her house needs to be emptied asap.

I can't get a taxi from Exeter it is dd birthday next week and it would mean spending her present money.

I am waiting for my mum to ring now wanting to know why I have not set off.

I have just moved to a new area so don't really know anyone.

I need to stop being a baby count to ten and breathe deeply and ask him to take me.

He will explode? Are you afraid of him? That's worrying.

in your situation and from previous form I know that I would most likely explode in manner of shreiking harpee.

don't do that.

best thing is to try and keep calm and concentrate on what you have to do ignoring for a min dp's unhelpfulness

at least this way you get to remain on higher ground in a grown up way and may even win a little co-operation from dp (though don't count on it)

just looking up public transport next train to Exeter arrives at half two. coach arrives in Bude at half five! My mum will flip I am supposed to be helping and I need to be home late afternoon tomorrow to get ready for school.

he will explode verbally not anything else.

Sounds like you are stuck between rock and hard place.

I would try and ask. You need support.

Perhaps after initial explosion he will see you need his help and perhaps mellow?

and by the way-sounds like a hell of a week you've had.

Just ask him. This is post-bereavement sorting out of stuff we're talking about - rather more important in the grand scheme of things than having a hissy fit over heating (where he was in the wrong anyway).

Have asked him and he is not happy and had a little rant. He does not want to go so I have said he needs to phone my mum and they need to decide between them what they want me to do.

Not being judgemental or anything but its a bit unfair of him isnt it.
Your Grandma has just died!

Its not like you want a lift so that you can go out on the piss all day!

Well he is behaving like a child! I understand about the taxi but what about asking a friend - I know it's a big favour to ask. Regarding briging things back - is there any money in the estate to pay for storage or courier? Or would your mum pay for the taxi?

There is no money in the estate she was conned by lots of fake clairvoyants and gave everything away and was in a lot of debt.

Heap burning coals on his head. Just quietly go about your business, take the train and bus.

I have done lots of housework to placate him, he has calmed down and has agreed to take me. If I took the train and bus I would not be there until six tonight and that is if \i left at ten and My mum says she does not want another night in the house. So that would not give m time to do anything.

Train to Plymouth - bus to Launceston or Bude, or train to Bodmin and then bus. There are trains that go beyond Exeter.

There are but I think the quickest way is to Exeter but I will check. Dp drove me in the end although he winged all the way.