Utter Shite You Don't Need...

[Sycamoretree]

No, not my DH.

For a bit of lighthearted Friday night chat, I'm interested to know what useless bits of crap we have all bought for our babies and never, EVER used.

I'll start with:

Teething rings/teething dummies: DD/DS couldn't even hold them properly when they were teething, let alone cotton on that it could help their teeth feel better if they did. They'll always find some appropriate household object to suit their needs in any case.

The knives that come with Toddler cutlery sets. Have finally just thrown 4 out that have never been used. Surely by the time they can use a knife, they will need one that can actually, um, cut?

A swaddle blanket. Ok, had a big baby, but mine was about as much use as a roll of toilet paper for holding DD.

Any baby shoes (for the under 6 months). Approx time they will stay on foot - minus 10 seconds.

Your turn now...

SIL gave us a baby hammock that I could not bear to put PFB in as I was terrified she would fall out. It looked like it would flip right over.

ALL safety shite, cupboard locks, table corner covers etc. Fridge lock. DS was able to open it before we even worked it out.

Baby adidas trainers, which were a present from DS's uncle. They are very cute, but i just don't see the point in shoes when they are just lying there! Same for some mini baby booties (0-3mths) from MIL, with LACES!! Who designs these things??

...and a cot. I had no idea that would be one of the most useless things. Only spent one night in it after 16 months. Finally getting some use out of it now we have taken the sides off.

baby waterproof jacket- age 3-6 months! as if he would need a raincoat at that age . It wasn't even fleecy inside- just like a waxed cagoule!

(yep- another lovely gift from my old (child free) city workmates)

baby sunglasses (no I didn't buy these either)

baby puffa bodywarmer aged 3-6 months. He looked like a stuffed caterpillar in it! (came as part of an outfit)

Who designs this stuff?

Whats with those tummy tub things, glorified bucket if you ask me, I mean why? really? Also those nappy wrapper jobby's, how hard is it really to put nappies in a nappy bag and the into a carrier bag and the put it in the outside bin every night .

I did look at those jumperoos for Ds, then decided I'd obviously gone a bit mad at around £80 a pop, along with those tripp trapp highchairs or whatever, I mean £100+ on a bloody highchair erm kay.

Ok i'll stop now- all this inspiration is because I got all DS's baby stuff down from loft today and had a good cackle at some of the most ridiculous stuff that we were given. I'm not ungrateful but some if it is really wtf?!

ok last one- baby converse with huge long laces....

dungarees with no crotch poppers...

This brings back some memories....
one of those grow bag egg thermometer things that I thought was essential. It was always glowing red and left me in a state of panic that my baby would over heat.

A million bibs - never used any.

Muslins - everyone told me these were essential. I think I used one once.

Scratch mittens - never used.

A really expensive swaddle blanket - never used.

ooh I bought a snot sucker which DH wouldn't let me use in case I damaged his tiny nose
Also stockpiled Johnsons
Bumbo - legs too skinny, he kept spinning round. Once he'd chubbed up, he could sit.
Sling - another PFB moment for DH - I fully intend to use it with the next one

I liked the bath and baby snot thingies. I never used the bottle warmer. How do people know when their baby is going to wake up so that they can get bottle ready in the (neverending) 10 minutes it takes?

Yes BIBS! Was bought hundreds of cute cotton ones
Rarely used them when he was tiny. When weaning and now use great big plastic things I bought myself for about £2 each, or a muslin

I bought 2 boots bottles which have never been used as the steriliser (Avent) came with 2 free
Why do people never TELL you these things?

Most of the toys I bought him, he prefers an empty biscuit tin to bang on and roll around.

Rattles, buggy bar thing that just fell off got in the way, parasol need to adjust everytime you cross the road after two days pegged a muslin to pram hood, snowsuit and hats for DS he was born in august, newborn size clothes for DS he was big and long and popped out of them like the incredible hulk when he streched, a hea hugger it never did anything apart from slide down the car seat, expensive funky bottles, nappy wrapper, reins, vibrating bouncy chair baby monitors house was so small could hear them sniff from any room also they picked up another baby.

emalushka I hear you on the egg thermometer thing- I took mine back as I was convinced it was faulty! its not that bloody hot in my house (1970's ex council with crap insulation!)

about a million non drip sippy cups that DS systematically rejected in favour of a cheapy ikea beaker!

Summer dresses. Haven't had the opportunity the last 2 summers

Steriliser and bottles, my pump came with both.

Talc! loads of people gave me talc!
Great tip though expat.

Coat for 0-3 month old, pregnant madness and first time mum sydrome, i did't know how unpracticle it would be.

Oh yes, heavy denim summer dress from gap 3-6 months - as if.

Also bumbo - DD was like buckaroo and always flipped out. Everytime I see a new parent buying one I have to bite my lip not to tell them they're wasting their money.

Bumbo -mine just leant forward and was out of it.
Hats especially sun hats.
Sun parasols
blankets we used sleeping bags from early on
Biggest most expensive thing I regret buying was the Phil&Teds. It was useful for 6 months and then a maclaren with a buggy board replaced it. 'Luckily' we sold it quickly and only lost £100

One sling and TWO baby bjorn carrier things (one a gift and on bought). None of them ever used - we have hills round here and a freakishly large baby.

Baby bouncer. That thing you hang on the door and they're supposed to bounce. DD2 is 8, suspect they're illegal now.

Bottle warmer
Baby wipe warmer

muslin cloths

don't get it.

apparently an essential???

well I used mine as vomit wipers
bibs
quick towels when out and about
general toddler wipes

I still have 2 bottles of johnsons lotion and oil from ds1 (now 5) - i have resorted to using it on myself.

Great big travel system - too heavy to push!!