bit sensitive,need advice.things going missing from employer

[star]

I work for an old lady who has other people in as well ,lately she has had some money gone missing.Also she has had a few other little things gone missing the most recent one being an expensive bar of soap.She has confided in me and she says she has told no one else and I'm not to mention it to anyone.She says she trusts me and we have looked for the items misssing and can only conclude that someone has been pinching.It's made me feel awful though as if I could be under suspicion although obviously I know it wasn't me IYKWIM.I have told her she should put a trap out to see if it works and that she really should report it because it's horrible having someone in your house doing this and also someone else could be suffering at their hands.She doesn't want to make a fuss though but has agreed to try a trap.I think the money and the other things are being done by 2 different people.As the money problem has stopped since I told her to make sure everyone deals with her money in front of her and gives her receipts as again she did not wish to cause a fuss.She is a worrier though and it is upsetting her obviously.I just don't know what I should be doing here,being loyal to her and keeping shtum or reporting it?Please help.

This poor old woman is being taken advantage of completely! What an awkward situation for you to be in! I think you should report it and if the woman doesn't want to be seen to rock the boat or cause trouble (bless her good nature) then perhaps you should say that it's YOU who has suspected something is amiss...
It's little things going missing just now, but what's next and who else are these people stealing from who are still totally oblivious? Are the people you suspect are stealing from her her carers or relatives or just 'friends' (loose term!)??

Thanks for replying,no not friends,they're care staff,nurses and people who do the shopping.She said she knows who it was taking the money as they had the opportunity and were the only one who was dealing with her money out of her view and not giving receipts,whereas everyone else does it in front of her.I told her to report it and not to have them again and to set a trap for them but she wanted to just make it impossible for them to do it again.I think it's very sad when you trust people and then that happens.It happened to dh's Grandfather recently where 2 people who were his carers stole money and things from him.It makes me so mad.

I wanted to mention it to a colleague but she told me I wasn't to and she wasn't going to mention it but I wonder if this colleague has noticed anything?You can't help knowing she's a bit stressed and upset by the whole thing.I still don't know but perhaps will wait a bit on the trap working and take it from there,thanks for your thoughts folks I know it's a bit of a sensitive one.If I start mentioning it the wheels are in motion then,maybe it would be a good thing and maybe not for her I really don't know yet.

star, I know care agency people do do things like this - we had one come into Sainsburys when I worked there, wearing the agency uniform, and get 2 lots of cashback, one at checkout and one at kiosk; the girl in the kiosk wondered why she was using a card to pay for 20 cigarettes and get cashback when she had already been through the checkout - turned out to be an old lady's card and she had got £2-3000 out of her account with cashback. She actually went to prison I think.

Anyway, I was just going to say, are you absolutely sure that she is right - before you do anything - is it possible either that she has just mislaid things or that she is a bit confused? Is there anybody else who knows her, who is nothing to do with the carers, who you could talk to about it? Just to make sure before any steps are taken?

Well,I think she might be right now.I did used to think she was being a bit paranoid before,except about the money of course.Because she's always saying to me that this or that has gone and when I say lets look for it we always used to find the items somewhere.And she doesn't have any family to mention it to.

Is there a health visitor or community nurse who comes to see her?

Janh she's got a social worker and the district nurse is a friend of hers.

Do you think she will have mentioned it to them then? Could you ask them about it? (Just trying to think of a way to share the responsibility!) Is the social worker the person responsible for the care workers being in the house? If so she probably wouldn't want to talk to her/him about it - maybe the district nurse would be a good person for you to talk to?

Janh she's not keen on her social worker!I'm dying to share the burden actually,I wish she'd mention it to someone else but I don't think she has.Anyway we'll see on the outcome of the trap,we've just put a little temptation their way whoever they are.I might get into trouble for not mentioning it sooner,that's why as well that I don't know what to do-I've never been in this situation before.

Not really Sobernow,only if she keeps an eye on the bait like I've told her to and even IF it does go we don't have any proof really-it'll just be an idea of who it is you see.She's completely compus mentis and I'm sure the soap has gone and half sure something else has gone missing because the soap's gone IYSWIM-the other things are strange things to want to pinch but I suppose it's possible.There we are really,just have to see what happens next-so far nothing.