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anyone else got a hoarder for a parent!!! Dont think I can cope with this again!

34 replies

rolereversal · 03/09/2008 19:57

My mum has mice, again!! Had mice in her kitchen approx 6 months ago, and an infestation of fleas about 10 months ago. Her house is impossible to clean properly due to the huge amounts of shit stuff she has. She just never throws anything out!

She is in her late 70s now and bloody impossible to help because she becomes so nasty and defensive when you try and get rid of anything.

She is going away on holiday next week with my brother and cos the mice appeared again I said that while she is away I am going to sort out the kitchen, get rid of some stuff and give it a good clean up. Funnily enough she wasnt in the least bit grateful!! She said I had no right to suggest that her house was unclean (it is!) and I should think about cleaning up my own house before I start on her!

I pointed out that there are 5 people living in my house, and we still have access to all our bedrooms, unlike my mum who is one potty old lady on her own who can only use one of the bedrooms in her four bed house cos the others are crammed full of useless bloody crap

She has just rung me to say she has tripped the mousetrap I set by accident because she forgot it was there, will have to go up and reset it. Is there anyone out there going through anything similar, please!!!!!!!!!!

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rolereversal · 05/09/2008 19:34

DOAW My dad left!!!!!!!

The awful thing is that I am having second thoughts about my kids spending any time with her, and thats such a shame cos they love her loads. I worry about what she gives them to eat and what they might pick up off her floor and the fact that she probably still has fleas because we couldnt clear all the floor space when the council had to spray for them last time!!!!

Anyway she is away now and me and dh are giving it 4 days next week to at least get the kitchen into some order. Like some other people have said, I think I will leave the rest of it alone, it makes her too stressed and upset messing with her beloved stuff.

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northernrefugee39 · 05/09/2008 19:39

Mouldy blueberry jam! I know it well! All my Mum's jam and marmalade has a layer of mould on it to keep it fresh!
Stock? Does she have pans of stock bubbling for days in thundery weather, flies swarming above?
Do we ever eat soup at their house?
Do we ever eat there?
Actually- we do.my kids love her cookinjg- puddings, sugar with everything, overcooked veg, cream like cheese... and thet survive, so do we.
In our house thiugh, we're fanatically fusy, si is my brother...

That link is really interesting- DOAW

Ans newspapers and clothes! My Mum used to have "cuttings" from newspapers in a scrap book- now it's just piles and piles of them. Explaining that it would probably take the remaining years of her life to read them doesn't really sink in....

Clothes she has kept from when my older brother was a baby.

Occasionally she used to produce a darned jumper or ancient M&S tweed coat for one of our kids. Tres tres retro/vintage.....

northernrefugee39 · 05/09/2008 19:40

Sorry about typing- think I'm turning into cod.....

rolereversal · 05/09/2008 19:44

My mum has half finished knitting and needlework projects all over the house too. Theres an aran jumper that she started for me that if she ever finished would just about fit my youngest

Mind you shes great for dressing up clothes, there is every fashion from 1959 onwards in her clothes, if only they would fit me, she was very thin in the old days

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ninedragons · 06/09/2008 08:20

Could you possibly have a word with her GP? An acquaintance said her relative improved their hoarding behaviour a bit after being put on anti-depressants.

If it's newspapers, they are a serious fire hazard. Do you think she would be receptive if you told her that all the newspapers have their archives online now, and if she ever wants to read about something from 1978, you'll come straight round and find it for her online?

I used to love watching that Life Laundry show but my DH just found it overwhelmingly sad, all those poor people being oppressed by their clutter.

rolereversal · 06/09/2008 09:30

my mum used to hate life laundry cos she thought those people had no right to mess with other peoples stuff!

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TheCrackFox · 06/09/2008 13:16

God, it sounds like my mum. It drives me insane. She recently finished making a dress that she started for my sister 30 years ago!! She gave it to my 5 year old niece. In all fairness it looked lovely as it was so old it had come back into fashion.

However, I am the total opposite and if I don't need/want it it goes straight to the charity shop.

Jazzicatz · 06/09/2008 13:23

My mum is like this as was her father. I cannot stand it. Last time I visited (they live 100 miles away) I got really upset about it. The thing is its her house and she can do waht she wants in it. I have come to the conclusion that I have the problem and therefore have chosen not to visit at her house but rather stay in a b&b so I don't have to deal with it!

rolereversal · 08/09/2008 19:00

wish I lived 100 miles away at the moment, been there all day and its worst than I thought. Started with the cupboard under the sink and have filled 3 bin bags just from there!! Also think I found a mouse nest in the back of said cupboard, lots of nibbled up plastic bag and tissue paper and loads of mouse poo.

My mum has this idea that its one lovely little field mouse that is coming in to get out of the cold and that it looks a bit like the mouse on Tom and Jerry.

I think its a whole bleedin' family and they are more like the mouse equivalent of the family off shameless

I dont really need this in my life, particularly as she is going to come off holiday and go ballistic when she sees what I'm doing. Have had to take photos of the mouse nest to prove it to her cos I know she'll say I'm exaggerating just to make her look bad!! Hey ho

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