really cross-should i be?

[miggy]

Ds1 and 2 go to same school but on monday ds2 finishes at 3.30 and ds1 at 4.30. We have an arrangement with people down the road that their nanny brings ds2 home and in return I take their son to school swimming on thurs am ie help him get changed/dry/dressed and buy him drink/snack and take back to school, I even bought him a new swimming hat last week. At 4pm they hadnt turned up, phoned house-no reply but they go riding straight from here anyway, phoned school and found DS had not been collected! on one hand its not a disaster as school has after school facilities and ds was slotted in there no probs but on other hand I was really worried ie car accident (you know the kind of thing!) Also my children have never been left at school gates, whatever hoops I've had to jump through. I was shaking with anger/worry BUT am I overreacting, should I blast these people or just live with it, I'll have to see them at school for next 6 yrs! The only excuse I can think is that last week they didnt have to pick him up as he was going to tea elsewhere, but I did specifically say that to them.

If your worried about seeing them for the next 6 years then I wouldn't blast them, even though you have every right to! I'd let them know that your not prepared to risk something like this happen again and for that reason your cancelling your arrangments with them.

Miggy, I think you're right to be angry ? it's inexcusable to 'forget' to pick up a child from school if you're being depended upon. But I'd have thought that was obvious to any parent ? is this the first time something like this has happened?
I'd be inclined to ring them, stressing how worried you were (rather than how angry) and see what the explanation is before giving them a blast. But you can't be expected to let it go as though it wasn't important. It must feel horrid for a child to be waiting at the school gates for someone who doesn't turn up.

too late! blasted the Nanny. Was prepared to be cool and had calmed down, then she phoned and was really blase about it. She said that she had picked up X and didnt see DS so she put X in car and asked him and he said didnt think so ( we're talking 5yr olds here!) so she left- didnt ask school/phone me-nothing, said " the school looked after him- not as if he was left on his own". Sorry but patience expired and was extremely cold to her on phone. I bet they bring him round for me to take swimming on Thursday though!

miggy, I'd have a word with the parents - they need to know if their nanny is being blase and I have to say this sounds blase in the extreme! Even if the school did look after him, that's not the point - she was supposed to collect him and jolly well should have done! So I'd talk to the parents and let them bollock her. If they don't agree I'd change the arrangement. I know what you mean, I have a real thing about always being on time to collect my ds too. Oooh, I'm cross for you!

I'd go along with www - and shouldn't the parents know - what if she had left their child??

Can I just say, IMO taking boys swimming is much more draining than picking up after school and dropping off. I think you are doing them a bigger favour than vice versa. You are right to be cross and should tell the parents as unhysterically as possible. If it does sour the relationship you'll find other people soon enough I'm sure.

Father of X phoned tonight to apologise, said all the right things ie nanny was irresponsible, he was really cross about it and had phoned his wife in barcelona to tell her and she was furious too. Feel better as dont want to have bad feeling with Parents and nice to know they share my point of view. thanks all for advice ps will collect myself now though!