spinkbean is due in Jan. ds will be 22mo.
We would love some help around the time bean arrives - last time I was very sore for the 1st 3 weeks, and I'm a bit nervous about us managing with ds too, if I'm the same this time. And we need a plan for the actual birth, in terms of childcare for ds.
We don't have many friends locally, and none with children, those with children are all an hour+ away.
ds has just started at a nursery 2 days a week (9-3) and they are flexible enough to take him at short notice if I go into labour on a weekday between 7am and 6pm..
Dh's dad lives 2 hours drive away, but he is not really comfortable looking after ds. SIL works long hours, and lives just over an hour away. She'd love to help, but is limited to weekends.
My family all live on the continent, 2.5 hours away by plane. mum and dad came to stay with us (in our small 2 bed flat) for a month when ds was born. Having them there was wonderful in some ways but horrendous in others. My mum and I had a huge row, a lot of very painful things were said. It was awful, and thinking about it still makes me shudder.
We try to see my parents a few times a year, because I love them and because we really would like them to have a good relationship with ds and new bean. Mum, especially, is brilliant with ds, he adores her, and I trust her completely. She does things differently to me, but who cares, he loves being with her and seems to trust her even if he doesn't see her that often.
So. We had hoped we'd move house before bean's EDD, but what with housing slumps and credit crunches, it just isn't going to happen. We're still in the small flat. Dh and I agreed, after last time, that anything more than a weekend stay (for any guests) is pushing it (guests tend to stay on the sofa bed in the open plan living room/kitchen, and need to go through our bedroom to get to the bathroom).
I think my mum is still stinging a bit from the stay here when ds was born. I've said to her that I'd love it if they could be around when bean is due, and that it would be lovely if they could meet him/her early on, as well as being a HUGE help to us with ds.
She has kind of ignored this, and said that they were thinking of coming over for a long weekend at Christmas. I don't know how to talk about it with her.
We've got no solutions to the accommodation problem, which it all boils down to.
Ideally, it would be great if they could be around for a couple of weeks after bean is born. Last minute flights around new year time will be extortionate though, and we've nowhere to put them.
Oh, and I'm hoping for a home birth, just to put that into the mix.
Anyone got a magic wand??
Or can give me a good talking to about alternatives?