help - do we move out of London to Oxford?

[abusybee]

DH and I have had to drink lots of wine over last few nights to come to a decison and just can't. All help really appreciated!

I need some help trying to make the decision whether we should move to Oxfordshire. We have 2 sons, age 2 and 4 and currently live in SW London in a great place but house that is 'cosy' with a fairly small garden - not really big enough for boys to play football or cycle their bikes.

Last Autumn after a Summer of visiting lots of people in the country etc we decided that we should make the move out of London to get more space and hopefully slightly increase the amount of time DH gets with the boys. He can relocate to the Oxford office of his company so job wouldn't change, but staying late ethos etc should improve.In terms of his career it should be neutral to slightly negative (he will probably still go into london a day or so a week).

I have a great job 2 days a week I will probably have to give up.

We are thinking a market town rather than rural location -don't think we are ready to go cold turkey on the urban life.

We've had our house on the market since then (MONTHS of keeping the place tidy) and now have some first time buyers lined up, but suddenly we have cold feet. Grrrr

I think the problem is we don't HAVE to move, where we are is great but we will outgrow it in the next few years (esp if we have another baby).

We can afford to increase our mortgage but it won't buy us anything different around here and I think we both feel (stupidly?) that we should do so instead of piling up cash in our current account.

We could stay where we are and 'do' something with the cash and start this whole process again in a few years time (Oxford office will still be there!)

So all you MN-ers out there who've made the move:

is it worth it?

should we wait or jump at FTB with open arms?

should we do it now before boys start school, and before we have no.3?

am I just put off by the thoughts of hassle in coming weeks of finding house / selling this one? Or just afraid of having to be the 'newies'

Did anyone do this and rent there first?

rent first to test the water! people in the country will always put a brave face on things and minimise talk of hideous commutes, ghastly neighbours, and bored kids taking ketamine (whoever thinks there is no drugs problem outside big urban areas needs their head examined)

will you really get that much more for your money? it sounds like you would be best off in oxford itself which is pricey...

you don't want to make a mistake and never be able to get back on the london housing ladder again.

good luck whatever you decide

Hatsoff - DH and I had some good times walking from Rose Hill through Iffley Village to the pub along the river (was it called The Isis?). VV romantic. However, the top end by the parade of shops was not nice and got a bit rough in the evenings. Do properties ever come up for sale in Iffley Village?

yoyo - yes the pub on the river was the Isis. we spent a lot of time in the one in Iffley village too. name escapes me right now. I suppose things do come up for sale, but it's not exactly big is it? We lived in a modern house in between Iffley village and Rose Hill shops - it was in a very nice cul-de-sac, but very bog standard, apart from the location. I also have friends who live in 1930s houses behind the shops - also quite nice.

hatsoff - do you mean the Prince of Wales? (does good roast dinners).

yes, it was my local for 3 years or so. lasties at the prince was a regular feature of life.

Hazy student days - were there pub quizzes there in the late eighties? May have been a pub in Old Headington come to think of it...

Does anyone know the Cemetery Lodge on Church Cowley Road?? We lived there when I moved with my parents and brother to Oxford in 1983!! I really loved living in Oxford, agree about the Cowley Centre being a bit grim, Blackbird Leys, Rosehill and Barton are a bit too.
I have very happy memories of 'Bachus' Wine Bar in the city centre (not there anymore) and The Jamaican Eating House on Cowley Road....

Was it called "Hi-Lo Jamaican"? Always looked interesting but I was way too timid as a student to venture through its doors!
Does Church Cowley Rd link the bottom bit of Rose Hill with Cowley Centre or am I thinking of Between Towns Rd?

In the Hi-Lo Jamaican Eating House on Cowley Road they charged you what they felt like. My cool friends went there, but I was too scared too, as I was sure they would think I was really dull and charge me loads.

Look very carefully at schools - I live in West Oxford and love it (although would entirely agree with whoever says earlier that it's pretty dull but then where I am it's 15 min walk from 4 theatres and 3 cinemas, plus a local babysitting cooperative whose members grab you on the street and plead to babysit as they're running out of tokens, so not bad. My view is that there are so many fantastic private schools in Oxford that they have a distorting effect on the state schools and the result can be unexpectedly tough. But that's just a theory and definitely not meant to start any state vs private thing.

Quote from local secondary school teacher - 'Oh, the kids from Cumnor school are so lovely, they sit and listen to the teacher and are so well behaved. Of course, the [my local primary school] kids were just running around screaming...'

Fisil - glad I wasn't the only coward! Wish I'd given it a go now though.

I just can't place Between Towns Road - I know it but can't remember where is starts. Church Cowley Road starts almost opp. turning into Iffley village off Iffley Road and goes straight through to the Cowley Centre. It shows how long I'm going back (mid to late 80's) as I always knew the JEHse as The Jamaican Eating House.

church cowley rd turns into between towns road at the junction with rhymers lane - the bit that actually goes past Cowley Centre is Between towns Rd. (I used to work round there many years ago)

Hi all

so after many nights of bottles of wine we've decided to stay put for another 2 years and go when next son is starting school. BUT what's brilliant to hear from you all is that our research was pointing us in the right directions - I found it so hard trying to weigh everything up about locations you don't know - no wonder people call in Phil and Kirstie!

SO thanks for all the comments - really grateful and they were really helpful - even if it helped us decide not to go!