How do we get rid of the Dummy?

[Enchanted]

My ds 2.5 loves his dummy and seems to love it more as he gets older. Before we moved house in September he was quite happy to hand it over each morning and only get it back for sleep. He had a hard time moving house and he seemed desperate for it all the time which we went along with. Now he walks around with as many as he can carry and seldom puts them down although he dosen't have them outside the house or at playgroup.
The other day when I was building the fire he said something about putting the dummies on it. I ran and got dh and we had a long conversation about saying goodbye to the dummies and that this was a very special day and what a big boy he was. Anyway, I put them on one at a time as he volunteered them and all was well until they started burning, he was in bits. My dummies, my dummies! I don't think he understood that they would be distroyed, he cried for such a long time, holding on tightly to the surviving dummies.
What and when sould I do?

Enchanted, that is heartbreaking! No advice I am afraid, I still have a four year old with a blankie, he sucks his thumb and has started to bite his nails (hmm must start a thread about that). I think some children just need these things, my 8 month old however doesn't suck his thumb or appear overly attached to a blanket, we tried him with a dummy and it wasn't for him either, in one way I think it is good that they can soothe themselves in another I don't know how you go about stopping it, my theory at the moment is that if I don't make a fuss he will just stop all these habits of his own accord, he now only needs the blanket and thumb for sleep times.

Hi, We recently got rid of dd's dummies. I was told by my mum that the older they get the harder it gets for them to let go of it and I dreaded having a 7yr with a dummy (having recently seen one walking around Tesco)(dd is 2yrs 11 mnths). We did it so that Father Christmas took it for all the babies. I was seriously torn about doing this but she also has a security blanket (muslim) so I felt a little better about it. We warned her about 3 weeks before and kept saying that Father Christmas would be bringing lots of presents but would need the dummies for all the other babies. My mum did the same sort of thing for my brother but for him it was the fairies and yes they left him presents (from the babies to which the dummies had been given as thankyous). We did a big thing of collecting them all up etc and making a fuss of her. I really dreaded it as the sences we'd had until that point if we couldn't find a dummy and she wanted one had been awful. Mum kept assuring me it would take 3 days max - but I was still skeptical and ready to give in at any point. However on hindsite it went very smoothly and by boxing day she only asked for it once. She was surrounded by presents but more importantly she had both of us lavishing attention on her. I would say the nights were hardest but even they were fairly uneventful - the most we had was a week of her sleeping with us. I would now not hesitate to give any future children a dummy as I now far more confident about getting rid of it. I'm also glad she's no longer got the dummy. She had mastered talking with it in similar to way to old men and their fags and it really wound me up trying to hear her with it wiggling up and down half in half out! I would count ours as a complete success. Good luck.

When DS2 was about 2.5 years he still had a dummy during the day and night.
He dropped it oneday and I told him not to put it back in his mouth as it was dirty, He suggested putting it in the bin so I didn't object. He didn't know I had another spare one, stashed away in secret, and only asked for it a few times after that. Until very recently he would point out any rubbish lorry and ask if that's the one with his dummy in, he's nearly 4 now.
One other thing I'll add is that I had a blanket given to me when I was about 3 and still had when I was 8 months pregnant with DS2 at 25 years old. I loved that blanket and it still horrifies me at the thought of it being in some landfill site somewhere. Why I threw it away I'll never know...silly me!

ooh - I feel very proud of my dp, 'cos she's managed to get our 14 month old ds halfway off dummies!

She's taught him to throw them into his cot when it's time to go downstairs in the morning, and although he loves his dummies, he does this every morning now! So he only has them for naps and at night - I suppose he knows where they are and that's enough.

Something like this may help as a starter.

Divorce him. Sorry couldn't resist.

I picked up this thread quite late so sorry if it's dead & buried but I wanted to tell you what I did. DD was 5 months old & waking approx 5 or 6 times a night for her dummy to be put back in, so one day me & DP decided to throw them away, which we did! We had 2 bad nights then she slept 7-7 after that because she found her thumb. I read somewhere that when a baby reaches 5 months they lose that natural urge to suck all the time.
It was a case of now or never & I certainly didn't want a toddler walking around & worse talking with her dummy in.
I hope this doesn't sound cruel because it wasn't, it was a case of survival!

Chris Green in Toddler Taming talks about bribing kids to give up dummies, but not before 4 yo.....CG is adament that it's easiest to do at this age, but it won't work before. Take them to the toy shop and tell them as a reward for giving up their dummy they can pick something out....

A friend just ditched the dummy telling her 3y+9month old that the dummy is "lost".

Maybe some of that will help...

Enchanted i still think your ds is quite little to give his dummy up altogether. If your not bothered about it then let him have it until he is a bit older.We stopped our dd having hers at 2, what a nightmare! with our ds however,we left it until he was 3.5.He posted it through a post box to Postman Pat,and never asked for it again.

I told mine at 3.5 that the HV wouldn't allow it any more (not the nice HV whom he knows and likes - I made a new one up). It has worked and he's never looked back. Perhaps the age thing is a key to how easy it was.

Try reading "The Last Noo Noo" by Jill Murphy - that worked with my 2 and a half year old. It's some years ago now, but if I remember rightly it's about a little monster who gets rid of its dummy.

MY DS (3.5) said to me today, "I do not want my dummy anymore mommy, I am a big boy now". Tonight when he went to bed, he told me that again and went to sleep without any problems.

My ds seems to be knocking a rise out of us! Apparently he doesn't need a dummy to go to sleep at Nursery or at my Mum's house............ but is devastated if he doesn't have one at bedtime in his own house!!!

And DS slept the whole night without waking

My ds will be 3 in a couple of months... and still loves his dummy (only for naps!! Although he'd have it more often if I let him). I had big intentions of making sure he was weaned off it by his first birthday, but that's unfortunately gone out the window.

He'll be starting kindergarten next year (not sure what the UK equivalent of kindy is) and will be going two days a week - so I'm wondering if I should aim to dispose of the dummy by the end of this year. By then he'll be 3.5, so I really think that he should be able to go without it completely by then. He never has it at night, but the problem is that he seems to rely on it for his daytime sleep and I can always entice him into bed with his dummy - so I guess I'm hanging on to it for myself as much as for him, cos it makes life that bit easier. Sigh.... I'm hoping as he gets a bit older, he'll decide that he doesn't really want it anymore and that would make it easier on everyone!

Update, Since my DS announced he didn't want his dummy, he has not looked back or asked for it since. I was always worried he was getting to old for it, but glad that I let him give it up on his own, rather then taking it away from him and those sleepless nights I might have encountered.

My boy is 5 and loves his dummy at bed time i don't want to force him to give it up but am starting to feel he's getting to old for a dummy.I have tried everything from giving it to father christmas,bribes and putting it on the dummy tree and tescos.Any suggestions?

My 8 month dd wakes up in the night for her dummy once or twice so I am thinking of weaning her off it, too young do you think? My friend told her daughter of 2yrs that the fairies had taken it and it worked a treat.

Hi Lip, does he have any friends that could sleep over, I think my Ds and his quickness to give up the dummy had something to do with his friend who stayed over, said to him "I thought only babies had dummies", this is what I had been saying for ages, but he listened to him. He has never looked back, although he has got attached to a hippo, saying that it is a lot easier looking for a stuffed animal rather then a small dummy that magically can vanish.

Lip I am going through this too, just slightly younger. I just decided enough was enough, that I hated seeing that thing in his mouth any more and told him no more ever. He's on about day 5 now and is getting used to it, but the first couple of days were hell on earth, truly. He was like someone giving up smoking. Threw things, screamed, pulled my hair,scratched me, slammed doors, begged and pleaded, but I had to just say not to him every time. Each sleep time has got a bit easier so it is getting better, and last night he only woke up once to ask for it, I said no, he had a little whimper then fell back asleep. Good luck I really feel for you!

Oliveoil, are you still having problems with the dummy? We just weaned our 6m old off hers'. Do you want to talk about it?

How did you do it? Was it easier or harder than expected? I weaned ds of dummy at 3 yrs when he could be bribed; it was easier than I expected. Dd, 9 mos, uses a dummy for sleep but is less attached to it than ds was. I am considering getting rid of it now rather than later. What was your strategy, if any?

We started about a month before actually getting rid of the dummies. I got her a couple of bears to have in her cot (making sure they'd still be available in the shops a few months later, so that when/if she got attached to one, I would be able to buy an 2nd one for emergencies!). We also blacked out the bedroom thoroughly. Then we followed the same routine every time we put her down for a nap or bedtime sleep. We still had to keep going back in to replace the dummy. Once she'd got the message and was obviously getting ready to sleep when I did things like drawing the curtains and arranging the cot, we simply stopped using the dummy. We started on a Thursday night so that dh would only have to cope with one sleep-deprived night at work before the weekend (and by Monday the worst would hopefully be over) and I slept on the sofa (she still sleeps in our room). We kept a written log of what time she was put down, how long it took her to get to sleep, and how long she slept or when she was woken up. The first night she screamed on/off for 1 hour, and once in the night for 20 minutes. After that it never took her longer than 20 minutes to settle herself in the evening, and 1 or 2 minutes during the night. Naps took longer to sort out, and a few times she screamed throughout the nap time. Sometimes we'd go in at the end of the hour and she'd be screaming in her sleep! Eventually, by increasing her solids, dropping one nap and spacing out eating and sleeping we seem to have resolved the problem. It took about 2 weeks, but now she never cries hard for more than 5 minutes or moans for 10-15 mins. She's much happier during the day, I feel, and her sleep is becoming deeper. She used to wake as soon as I came into the room, but no longer.

To be honest it was easier than we expected. We didn't think nighttime sleeping would sort itself out so quickly, because she had been waking every hour or so needing the dummy.

boyandgirl - my dd still has her dummy to go to sleep but doesn't wake up at all now in the night for it, reckon we have just been lucky. Can sometimes hear a 'phuck' sound as she spits it out! Maybe likes it to nod off and then it gets on her nerves.....

Still use it sometimes in the day to ward off a strop as well.

I also use a teddy when she goes to sleep and she always has her arms wrapped round it, I think that she uses this as a comforter more than the dummy. I only have the one though, so hopefully it won't get lost!

I think my dd was about 2 when we decided to get rid of her dummy. We tried the usual fairys having it etc but nothing seemed to work. We then had a brainwave of cutting a very small hole in it, and then every few days making it a bit bigger. After a week the hole was quite big, and she decided she didn't like it anymore and threw all her dummies in the bin! We never looked back, although she has become a thumb sucker instead!

I posted a note not so long ago cos CLB suddenly turned into Damien omen, waking 5-6 times a night. read r. ferbers' book and decided to ditch the dummy, ds was nine months. He cried for c.15 mins the first night, and slept right through, and 8 mins the next 8-8am, haven't looked back and now he's sleeping right through and he doesn't even seem to miss it