moving to a new country

[MaryP0p1]

A question I thought I'd ask of all those of you who have moved abroad. What would be the best bit of advice you would offer. What did you miss and what was great!

Oh and another thing. The sooner you are reunited with your belongings the better as it will help you settle in having familiar things around you. I took a lot with me by air and I'm so glad I did as it took months for our container to arrive.

I've been on both 'ends' of this. moved to Zimbabwe for a gap year (ok it turned into 2 1/2yrs and was 'going' to be permanent until Mugabe started losing the plot),

What did I miss

Being able to talk to my friends/family regularly
Having a choice of what to watch on TV - we only had Terrestial at home - but only 1 and 1/2 there

What did I love

Cheaper cost of living (when I was there for £1 you could get a bottle of local plonk and large pizza!)
Friendly people
Great weather
As mad as it sounds the public transport - any one thats ever been there will known Combies (commuter omnibuses)
The friends I made
New opportunities

Then on the other side we (the DH I 'picked up' along the way while living out there LOL) had to move back to the UK

So now it was DH's turn

things he misses

Friends and Family
Weather
Language
Kids having respect for their teachers (very colonial style - but IMO excellent schools out there)

Things he loves

New opportunities
Being able to buy a house
Having a car
Multi channel TV (And don't I know it )
FREE medical care
FREE education
Reliable (well compared to Zim) public transport
Motorways

oh yes and something we BOTH missed coming back to the UK was most of our things - we could only afford to take what was allowed on a standard long haul flight so most was either sold, or put into 'storage' at an aunts house (which we suspect may have now 'disappeared'...........)

Kando, English is widely spoken here, esp in The Hague. We live in Hilversum which is a town about 18 km south of Amsterdam. There are lots of English speaking people here because there are lots of big companies based in the area such as Nike. I've lived here over 3 years and really like it, although it is so much easier to fit in if you try to speak Dutch. There are lots of reasonably priced language courses at local colleges as well as the more expensive language schools. My Dutch is pretty awful but I can still order in cafes, ask for stuff in shops and markets etc in the local language and I think the Dutch appreciate the effort even though they are quick to correct you if you make a mistake! But then they are very 'forthright' people

Anyway, you will certainly have no problems finding other expats and there is loads going on in English in terms of theatre and cinema. In fact, most films are shown in English with Dutch subtitles rather than being dubbed. Please feel free to ask as many questions as you like or CAT me if its easier. Word of warning though, although I find Dutch people warm, family orientated and generally friendly, there is little concept of 'service' as you would expect it in say the U.S or Britain and the food is, in my opinion, pretty awful (crawls off hoping nobody is offended )

Oh Gwenick, you sound like you've had some turmoil and I expect a very interesting life.

I know what I miss when I'm on holiday and strangely enough its curries, salt and vingar crisps, chocolate. I don't have a problem with tea because we bring it with us when we go.

I have a friend who moved to Germany and his missed chocolate eclairs!!! When we visit we bring him some, unfortunately he has just been diagnosed as diabetic so no more of them for him.......

My last visit I met a lady who son will be in the same class/school as my daughter at school. She is moving back to England soon and her reasons are, now on her own so no family and being the English lady. Though I expect shes more noticeable in that she also teaches English.

My history is that my family are Irish, father mother, grandparents, aunts, uncles all came over in the 70's when I was born. My daughter asked me yesterday where was I from and I found it difficult to answer so she would understand. I said her grandparents were Irish and I am Irish and English and she was half Irish. She said so your half Irish and I said no because I'm not. I'm Irish and English, I have an Irish family and have lived in England most of my life. So I'm both and neither. I can understand this but could not explain this to my daughter. When we move I expect that will only confuse her more!!!

Oh Gwenick, you sound like you've had some turmoil and I expect a very interesting life.

I know what I miss when I'm on holiday and strangely enough its curries, salt and vingar crisps, chocolate. I don't have a problem with tea because we bring it with us when we go.

I have a friend who moved to Germany and his missed chocolate eclairs!!! When we visit we bring him some, unfortunately he has just been diagnosed as diabetic so no more of them for him.......

My last visit I met a lady who son will be in the same class/school as my daughter at school. She is moving back to England soon and her reasons are, now on her own so no family and being the English lady. Though I expect shes more noticeable in that she also teaches English.

My history is that my family are Irish, father mother, grandparents, aunts, uncles all came over in the 70's when I was born. My daughter asked me yesterday where was I from and I found it difficult to answer so she would understand. I said her grandparents were Irish and I am Irish and English and she was half Irish. She said so your half Irish and I said no because I'm not. I'm Irish and English, I have an Irish family and have lived in England most of my life. So I'm both and neither. I can understand this but could not explain this to my daughter. When we move I expect that will only confuse her more!!!

when moved from Aus to the UK - missed the weather... missed sunshine in winter - could not get used to short dark days, prejudice towards me - white middle class woman ( seen by many as a 'colonial'!! Missed friends of long standing and family. BUT loved the history and the distinct seasons that come with living in England.

Last year moved back to Aus from England - miss friends and inlaws, little village where we lived - just a different lifestyle here, don't miss dreary winter days, missed the snow with winter here. Miss some of the high street shops.

as someone else said - it is just different not right or wrong.. when I moved to England where I knew no one - I treated it as an adventure and another chapter in my book of life....

Hey Hausfrau!
Need any translations etc - just ask! Will also give you German lessons if you want, but (all being well) am going away at the end of next week so will have to wait till after that

What annoys me here is

• German telly (yes franke! we've got rid of our telly now and don't miss it)
• Hardly being able to get maternity clothes at all, let alone petite ones
• speaking to someone in perfectly decent German and getting an answer in English - I know they're just keen to 'practise' their English but I can't help thinking 'it wasn't THAT bad was it?' Or getting treated as a free translation service by almost complete strangers...

I miss the usual - baked beans, Cadbury's and Marmite (although there's an English shop reasonably near me), Tesco and Sainsbury's (have never been able to get used to supermarkets here), decent clothes shops

I love

• the healthcare (bloody brilliant, especially during this pregnancy)
• the public transport (snap, Hausfrau)
• Berlin
• the people - have met so many wonderful ones in my various times here, including lovely dh

Oh and I have to mention Milchkaffee among my loves

I moved to a medium sized town in New Zealand.

I missed,

MY FAMILY
decent sausages
Choice (in most things, food, clothes, furniture)
European holidays (not that Fiji wasn't fabulous )

I loved,

The beaches
the open spaces
the scenery
the range of climate
the cafe culture, far superior to ours, imo
the price of houses made me want to weep i.e. cheap
the people
Shortland street

turquoise> i think Baltimore would definitely be worth a visit. it has a lot to offer (IMO), the Baltimore Museum of Art, the Walters Art Museum, the Inner Habour, the more trendy Fells Point area, plus many many good seafood restaurants.

Its good to hear such interesting stories as I am about to embark on a new life in Cyprus with my turkish boyfriend to be with his family.

My main worries are feeling isolated and feeling not so confident as I do here in the UK. I know what to expect and how to act.

Daunting but exciting too....
Good advice Ameriscot

Interesting to look through this thread. Me and my family are hoping to move to Colorado USA in November.

I should add, that if it hadn't just been dp and I in NZ and not so far, expensive to travel etc. we would have stayed I reckon. I was just too homesick

My advice -don't underestimate the value of the ex-pat community (or friendship of people from your own country). Even though you might feel like I did - that you really want to be integrating with the locals and not living in an artificial ex-pat bubble there are some times when you just need to be able to talk to someone that understands what you mean without explanation whatever you're talking about (weetabix, the clangers, Busted, Charles and Camilla whatever). They may not be people who would necessarily be your best friend in the UK but they are a relief valve on the pressure.

And I missed Walkers smokey bacon crisps

Oxocube - thanks for getting back to me! OMG at your last sentence though - does that mean as veggies (or "fishitarians"!) we will struggle? I did ask Quorn if they sold stuff out there and they sent me a long list of stuff (no idea what it is though as it's in Dutch!) Will definately learn a bit of Dutch - dh has got the cassettes ready to go! What nationality are you? I'm Scottish, and am sincerely hoping that my ability to pronounce the "ch" sound (as in "loch") will help in speaking Dutch LOL!!

I'm a SAHM at the moment - I have 2 dds, aged 4 and 2. DD1 will be starting school this year - we're hoping she will get into the British School, but as DH's posting is not 100% confirmed yet, can't do anything about applying for places. How old are your children? Where do they go to school? Why did you move out there? I will probably be a SAHM until dd2 goes to some sort of nursery, but have no idea whether I'll be able to get a job out there. I suppose it depends on my Dutch and the need for secretarys!

I will probably CAT you later, if that's OK. Sorry to bombard you with questions like that!

Hi, Kando! No problem re the questions I'll try to deal with them in order! Quorn is readily available and actually, the fish is good if you go to local markets rather than the supermarkets (which are pretty poor by British standards). The Dutch don't eat big portions of meat so stuff such as roasts is out, although that won't apply in your case. There are several books which give translations for most foodstuffs -I'll dig one out later and give you the title, but my DH was given it by his company when he moved along with several other relocation/welcome to the Netherlands books.

My kids are now 9, 7 and 3 and we moved out her about 3 and a half years ago as Dh applied for (and got, obviously!) a job here. We put our kids into Dutch school for the 1st year - it was free, was just around the corner and we thought that as they had never been to a British school anyway, we might as well give it a go. The kids were fine and within about 5 months, were speaking Dutch quite well, esp dd who is good with languages. The reason we changed to international school was two-fold: firstly, ds1, then aged almost 7, couldn't read or write in English and was quite shy and lacking in confidence. The year group he was going into was where the schoolong gets a bit more serious and they learn to read and write but I knew that i wouldn't be able to help him as my Dutch is poor. I had the feeling he would always be 'behind' -not as good as the others in school as it wasn't his home language and not so good in English because he'd never learned it in school. I worried about how he would cope when we move again esp as this move would not be back to U.K.

The second reason for changing was more selfish: The Dutch school was in a little village where people had lived for years and their grandparents had grown up there. I had no one to go for a cup of tea with, was lonely and felt a real outsider and very conspicuous.

Now, our kids go to a school in Hilversum where we live which is international but is government funded so the fees are dramatically different to most international schools. We pay our own school fees and could not afford any other international option, but as it happens, this school is very good with an excellent approach to learning (very enquiry based with lots of questioning from the children, 'presentations' every few months of a chosen theme which fits in with the current learning topic. There are close links with a local Dutch school and my kids are very happy there.

I think if you are in an expat community such as Den Haag, you will find no problem in making friends, both for you and your children. Kids usually start playschool here at about 2 and a half and the fees are reasonable (my ds goes 3 mornings a week and it cost us Eu70 per month)

Must dash to walk the dog but any other questions, fire away and I'll check mumsnet later! xxx

When we lived in Germany I loved the fact that the shops shut at 1pm on a Saturday and didn't open again until Monday. Took me by surprise the first couple of weeks but then it made us so much more imaginative about our weekends and we actually did stuff and lots of stuff together (inc dds, of course). It helped of course that the supermarkets were open until 8pm every evening. It was fab. About to go to Oz for a year and can't decide whether to take lots of home stuff or whether to treat it as an extended holiday and rough it for a year. Any ideas?

Thanks very much Oxocube. I'm sure I will have more questions but the dds are driving me mad at the moment (and it's only day 1 of dd1's half term - help!)

Just noticed my spelling of "secretarys". Oops, not really a very good advert for any future employers lol!

Adding more, my friends who went to local schools and were taught in French/Flemish and decided to come to a British school for A'level to entry to English unis found it incredibly hard. The techincal terms for science and maths were really hard for them to learn, and their English lit skills were well behind. These were clever people, but being taught in French actually made their lives harder. If I moved abroad and could afford it, my kids would go to British schools.

None of my friends have settled in Belgium, even those who were born there, and who consider it home, they all came back to England.

If I moved abroad and could afford it, my kids would go to British schools.

Sorry couldn't help smile at that..........it's ok for us Brits to send our children to British schools if we live abroad but if people 'dare' to want to speak in their native tongue, or even worse TEACH in it in the UK they're not welcome (this isn't directed at you Smurfgirl just a general observation)

Gwenick I did also learn Flemish and at the time was pretty near to fluent in it!

I think that if you want to live temporarily in a different country, and your children want to move back to their home country, they are best going to British schools.

If I moved to another country and was going to be there forever, and expected me children to be too I would send them to local schools.

I wanted my DD to go to a local school when we came here, but she spoke hardly any English, local schools do not start teaching reading until age 6, we were fairly confident we would only be here for a few years, so we opted for an international school which teaches in English.

Plenty of Brits are here for years and their kids grow up in a British/expat bubble and have no interaction with local life at all. If we were here permanently, I'd definitely put them in a local school.