whats the reasonable thing to do - MN buy&sell problem

[nottellingthismorning]

hi there apologies in advance for lack of apostrophes, keyboard is broken.
I am rather cross and unsure what the reasonable thing to do is. Short outline - someone asked last week for a specific item, I replied saying I had some to sell.
We agreed on the price, on Monday the other mumsnetter gave me her address and said she would send the cheque off asap, I said I would send the item asap, which dh did (Tuesday morning).
Received an email this morning which was sent late last night saying that she has changed her mind and bought one from someone else.
I think P&P was probably around 2 quid, so I have lost that as well as now worrying whether I will get my things back at all.

Email her to check she's got whatever you sent her, and ask her to send it back? I wouldn't worry unduly, the fact that she emailed you to let you know shows honourable intentions, IMHO

i am just so cheesed off, other people had wanted to buy the items from me and i told them that it had already gone to the first buyer. also she had plenty of time to think about it beforehand (almost 2 weeks from start to finish). had to go PO to send it as it is bulky... sent it before receiving a cheque as it seemed like a friendly thing to do. obviously backfired.

Message withdrawn

Awwwww, don't let it spoil your day . Can you readvertise it or go back to the others who expressed an interest and see if they're still keen?

I think it would be reasonable to tell her that it's too late that you had already sent the stuff and that she should either pay you for it or send it back along with £2 to cover the postage. If she doesn't pay up, out her on mumsnet (only with her nicname of course) to warn other mumsnetters not to do business with her.

I've had several unfortunate incidents of very late payments on things and last minute changing of minds and have now decided only to post things once I've received the check.

I've had some problems too with stuff I've given for free and just asked for P + P and never received payment. It's a real shame as I tend to trust mumsnetters so it's disappointing when you're let down.

I should think this thread will prompt her to contact you re the p&p....

In future never send the items until you have received payment - I never do.

It is tricky though isn't it? You want to trust fellow Mners and you don't want to insult them by showing you don't trust them. Hopefully she will do the decent thing and send the item back with your £2.

I'm the same Lonelymum, the item is sent upon clearance of payment.

Just a thought ... to salve her guilty conscience, the other MNer may send it on for you to another buyer if you can find one - that way at least you save postage

well she emailed me back saying it was easier to just send me a cheque now - fine. What a PITA though . Thanks all. Dh told me off for being so silly and sending something before I'd received payment - but as lonelymum said, was trying to be friendly and don't want to have to distrust people