Long phone conversations

[Holly02]

Is anyone else NOT a fan of very long phone conversations anymore??!! Years ago (mainly when I was a teenager and when I was single) I had marathon phone calls with friends, but now I find that I don't like to spend a long time on phone calls. Probably the limitations of time and family I would say... but am I alone in feeling this way? It's just that I have a couple of friends who always talk for a minimum of an hour, sometimes more, and I actually have to schedule a phone conversation with them into my day. I've tried saying to them "I have to go now", but they seem oblivious to this and just keep talking. My longest phone call with one of these friends (before ds came along) was 3 1/2 hours. She is unbelievable!! My SIL is the same but she has 4 children, so I can't work out how she can manage to stay on the phone for so long. I can usually hear her toddlers screaming in the background and by the end of the phone call, my own ds is usually hanging off my leg or getting into serious mischief. What does everyone else think? Or am I just getting a bit less tolerant as I get older?

Holly02 - you are definitely not alone! It's not that I don't like having long conversations on the phone (ask my boyf!!), it's just the time restrictions!!
I could easily spend 2 hours on the phone in one sitting, but since ds I don't have that luxury (or the money!). There is one friend that I have almost abandoned coz she talks so long that I can't find a good time to phone her. It's very sad as I feel I'm losing friends! I keep putting it off and putting it off and before I know it there's been 6 months since we talked. Even when she leaves messages on the ansafone, I'll listen to the message when I get home form work and promise myself I'll phone her later, but by the time ds is asleep and we've eaten dinner I just can't be bothered!! >sigh< Well, this thread has just shamed me into phoning the afore mentioned friend this evening ............promise!!

Holly02, no you are not alone, i used to spend hours on the phone too (b4 dh & ds), but now i just do not have the time. My worst offender is my Aunty, she phones at least 3/4 times a week. It really becomes a pain because she never has anything to say, its normally a case of 'what have you been up to' i am a sahm and its the same reply 'nothing and you', she then goes on about what she has been doing and its usually like 'done 2 loads of washing, washed up, prepared dinner etc etc. She isn't married or have any kids and i find it hard to end the call, i have tried i am having my dinner and like you said she seems oblivious to what i said and carrys on talking, they only last about 15 minutes but its like she has recorded the previous conversation and replays it.

I am lucky that all my best friends have emails, so thats have we communicate, and when we do speak on the phone we always joke about going back to basics.

I must admit that i leave the answerphone on and screen calls, am i awful?

Breeze....I too screen calls depending on what I am doing with my dd ( 5 1/2 mths). I decided that I would not jump just because the phone is ringing. If it is an Overseas call - sure I will answer but if it is someone for a chat and I can't chat - I let them leave a message and get back to them at a time convenient to me.
My problem is my family and a lot of friends are in Aus and I am in the UK. They want to catch up on what dd has been doing but it usually me who has to call all the time - and it costs a fortune. Luckily for me I can use the excuse I can't stay on the phone long because it costs too much for them and us. I tend to use email a lot more now - I can write as much as I need to and do it at a time that suits me.

Holly ....I know it is a little naughty but if someone is not getting the hint that I need to leave - I invent a little drama with DD and say I gotta go in a rushed way and hang up.

Ooooo eidsvold, what a fantastic idea. It's so harsh it's brilliant!! I must remember that one. I have been known to get quite crude and tell the person that I'm bursting for the toilet. If that doesn't work I just explain that my pelvic floor muscles are not as strong as they used to be and hang up! They get the hint the next time you say you need the loo and they end the phone call for you (sometimes!!).

All I can say is thank goodness for emails, ansafones and text messaging!!! Don't you just love technology.

If there's another adult in the house I've been known to send them out to ring our own doorbell, then I can make the excuse I've got to go cos the bell's just rung.

Eidsvold, I don't know if you even want cheaper foreign phone calls but Onetel offer competitive rates for phoning abroad. It's cheaper to call the US (3p/min) than make a daytime long-distance call (4p/min) within the UK!!

Thanks Suedonim - we tried to join via the net and it says that someone else at this address is registered!! As we are renting i guess it is a previous tenant. We have cheap calls from BT but it still gets a lot. I might try Onetel and call them .. hopefully it might even work out cheaper again.

Thanks

yeah that reminds me, with my aunty when she won't get off the phone, i get my mobile dial 141 and then her number (she has call waiting), and she always says 'oh got to go, another call', and can't trace it back to me.

We use onetel too. I like it because you only get billed for the calls you use. We registered before we went to Australia so I could phone DH out there (he went out first); we didn't have to use it again until about 18mo later when he went to Israel and then they started charging us again.

I can see how that would present problems with previous tenants though.

Onetel has strings attached though...

They are brilliant for calls abroad, but for UK calls they are, in my experience, no cheaper than BT, and if you have BT Together they are dearer, esp for national rate calls (eg 0870.) I rang my B Soc via Onetel and first had to hang on for about 25 mins, and then was talking for another 15, and was charged the full 8p a minute. BT doesn't charge anything like that.

If you have a "Phonepal" local calls are 1p a minute but it tends to interfere with your internet connection, and if you don't have one they charge their national rates for local calls.

Also the minimum call charge is 5p whoever you use, even if you only get connected for a millisecond. (My DH runs an under-15 football team and has to ring all the lads every Friday/Saturday, for about 30 secs each, to make sure they remember what he told them at training on the Wednesday, that's about 15 lads at 5p a call every week, or about £8 every quarterly bill!)

Hands up! I'm guilty of this.

My mum (lives 30 miles away) and I phone each other about three times a week and also my best friend (lives 20 miles away) and we tend to phone each other about two/three times a month. I do tend to stay on the phone at least an hour, I know my Mum is usually quite happy about this but probably some days my friend could do without it, either that or I am paranoid, and I have at times felt quite guilty, especially if she made the call. However I rarely make local calls and are more likely to meet up with friends locally rather than phoning. DS1 (aged 4) is usually quite happy to watch a video when I am on the phone and DS2 (8 months) usually tucks into a b/feed. I think DH wishes I could curb my phone habit mind you!

Just a thought for anyone who likes spending time on the phone, if you don't already have one, I would thoroughly recommend a cordless. You can then spend time on the phone while loading your dishwasher/washing machine, b/feeding, doing the ironing, etc, etc!

janh I have never used them for anything but overseas calls. All overseas numbers are programmed in with the 1877 prefix and they automatically dial via onetel.

Anything else, I just dial as normal and it goes through BT.

Same here, SueW, although as I've never got around to putting numbers into the memory I just dial the special Onetel number before making any international calls.

Hello, Sues - hadn't read down far enough to see that you both use Onetel just for abroad - sorry!