clothes that stay the distance when you have children

[tigermoth]

I've always loved clothes, even on a limited clothes budget. However, since I've had children I am prone to burst into fits of silent laughter whenever I view what's on the rails in most high street clothes shops.

70% of the stuff found in warehouse, karen millan, zara, french connection, jigsaw, etc etc would last about five minutes in its pristine state if I wore it out with my sons. Fabrics that need dry cleaning or careful ironing, knitwear that needs hand washing, pale colours that show every dirty finger smudge, fringing, embroidery, lacy knits, etc etc just don't relate at all to my lifestyle.

I have smart work clothes hanging in the wardrobe and a few going out clothes, for the few times I need to dress up to work or to go out. But the majority of my time is spent with my children, working alone, or slobbing around. I tend to wear variations of denim, cotton and fleece - hard wearing, easy to wash, don't show all the marks. I sometimes feel I should be shopping in Millets.

There is no shop I've found that caters mainly for someone like me. I feel like an aged imposter in H and M and Top Shop, yet buy most of my 'mum on duty' and 'working alone' clothes from these places. Surely this can't be right!!!

My favourite item of winter clothing is a pair of black fleecy trousers (9.99 from H and M). Easy to wash, quick to dry (unlike denim), hard wearing, comfortable, and they don't make my bottome look big, (I think). They fit my needs perfectly. I would love to buy more pairs, but can't find any other shop that sells them.

Sometimes I feel a total freak - am I so unusual? I don't want to look old and frumpy, yet I do need practical attire to get me through the day. So I just wondered if anyone else finds this a problem, do you think mums (working or sahms) are adequately catered for by high street clothes shops? do you have a favourite mum outfit?

.... at least I can now team my fleecy trousers with a towcho towelling poncho, if my sons will let me. Just seen I've won one. Fantastic - thanks!

....it might even help cover my 'bottome' (see bad spelling in original message)

I must stop talking to myself1

Denim bootcut jeans from Gap (washable, tumble dry-able and long enough to reach my feet) and a large variety of cotton jersey tops. And slip on clumpy trainer type shoes. Sigh - I can no longer walk in proper shoes!

tigermoth - I agree, but then I felt like that for a long time before I had dd. I've never been one for too much washing/ironing/"special care" anyway you see.

I buy clothes usually from the frump department in places like Debs and BHS, but then add a bit of colour from somewhere like Dorothy Perkins. M&S used to be good but then went all frilly - haven't been there for a while.

On the plus side, you should feel lucky you don't live in Spain, where all the young trendy shops stock (beautiful) clothes in sizes 6, 8 10 and if you're very lucky, 12. As for bras, if you even have a cup size then it's matronly military style from the big department stores. I'm seriously considering getting my sewing machine out!

Jeans and fleeces see me through the day & luckily I work in a dark basement so I don't have to have smart work clothes, but it's going out clothes that I find a problem. There seems to be no middle ground between frumpy or freakish, and I too refuse to buy anything that is dry clean or handwash. Who has the time or money? I end up getting things from Monsoon but never feel quite co-ordinated or smart enough.
But for comfort I'd stick with pyjama bottoms and fleece jumpers.

For going out clothes this year, I made sure I had a couple of pairs,of good black trousers, then just found some glizy tops to match. I came to the conclusion, that for the places I go out,resturants,theatre,the local pub and cinema, people just don't dress up much anymore.I was actually quite pleased, that I did not spend that much, as I seem to have something that fits in most places.It also means I can wear my flat ankle boots most of the time, and just put a warmer top on when it's freezing outside.I can't stand being cold when I'm out.
One thing that I had not thought about before I had the boys, was how do you push a double buggy and hold an umberella at the same time. Not possible !!!When they were still in the buggy, I had my hair short cropped and wore my hood up in the rain. Very glam.DH said I looked like I'd escaped from somewhere !!!!Then I grew my hair and wore a hat!!!!
The boys don't use the buggy anymore, but now I have to hang onto two hands, so now I'm far more trendy, I put my hair in a ponytail and wear a baseball cap. Very practical actually as it keeps the rain out of my eyes, still not vey glam though!!!

I live in jeans and cotton stretch tops, with plain wool trousers in black or grey for work (change at last minute so that they are unsullied by DS's fingers and snotty nose, minimising drycleaning). But does anybody feel like the current fashions are just passing them by? Silky combat pants and high heels - ugh!

I'm a sort of natural scruff, I think, so haven't found this a huge problem but just wanted to say that if meet ups are anything to go by there is absolutely NO WAY you look old and frumpy, Ms T Moth. Quite quite the reverse, I'd say.

Tigermoth, I agree with scummy, you are definitely not old and frumpy looking at all and your bottome is not big!! Your successive posts made me laugh.

My gripe is that lots of trousers and jeans are hipsters. Not great if, like me, you have a big bottome and saggy stomach - I need it held in! And I don't want to be showing off my stomach or hips to anyone thank you very much. OK if you're a skinny 20something I suppose. As I'm 5'3" they are always too long too. I live in black boot cut cords or jeans, plain black t-shirts and long black cardigans atm or a denim skirt and black long sleeved top. Agree about fleeces and jeans too, they seem to be the mum outfit of choice down here in the west country. Can't remember the last time I bought something silk or otherwise hard to wash...

My stuff is an 'eclectic' mix of Wallis trousers, Matalan cheapy jeans, Dotty P's, Tesco and anything I can buy on my Debenhams card! I still wear heels I am afraid, as I am dinky. Love heels, couldn't be without them! I do wear flatties occasionally, but always feel short and fat. Things now have to be value for money, since I no longer have the funds that I used to have when working.

ps I LOVE looking through the rails in charity shops. I have found loads of Next things in them, a sheepskin coat, a Hyphen dress...I can recommend it, but it helps not to have a moaning toddler with you if you really want to rummage!

Of all the people to start a thread about looking frumpy...you just wanted to show off about your Towcho (well done by the way).
I get quite a lot of stuff from M & S - avoiding the "Per childless woman with waistline" stuff which I personally adore but which is no good for me at the minute and also from the French catalogue La Redoute. The Edeis bit has lots of cotton separates that in true French style seem to be boilable to shift those extra large bits of snot. And as I spend Friday being vomited on not once but three times, I do appreciate washability.

If it can't go from washing machine on high spin to tumble dryer on 'hot', then I don't buy it. Tigermoth, even some of the Jigsaw bits & pieces I've got will do this.

Jac34 - 'going out clothes' ... am I missing something??

I'm a "fat Face" addict, good quality,hard wearing, straightforward,"casual" clothes! They also do "Brat Face" for kids, bit pricey for kids though I think. Their warehouse outlets and sales are great value, and they're on-line too!

With jeans, after years of crawling on the floor after dds, I've found Next jeans last longer in the Knees and are cheaper then Gap!

Another Fatface addict and I manage to restrain myself till they send their sales catalogue when a lot of their stuff is half price or less.

I also love Gap khakis which wash and wear very well. Ooh I sound like my mum.

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If you rely on your tumble dryer (I do...hate ironing), DON'T buy M & S jeans! They shrink! I loved my low waist, bootleg jeans, but had to take them back twice before I admitted defeat, and got my money back. Their cottony tops always tumble dry well, so what is it with their jeans?

Also, slightly off topic, why do Next make baby clothes that can't be tumble dried??? I have to admit that all the cotton tops from there that ds has go in on a cool setting, as I can't be ar*ed to have them hanging around on radiators.

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RobinW - see this

www, agree re low rise trousers, they are just not kind to me! but can you get any other kind anywhere? oh no... i have spent literally weeks looking for a pair of boot cut cords with a non low rise waist, to no avail.

Carla,
Yes going out,us !!!
As the boys are now 4, DH and I are starting to claw back, somthing resembleing a social life !!
We are even managing, a long weekend in Rome for Valentines weekend !!!!
I just can't imagine how un-chic I'll look !!!

Jac34

The trouble with Rome is the Italians out-style us everytime, and spend a heck of a lot more. I'd feel better heading for Germany/E Europe. If I had the luxury of celebrating valentines day that is..

Clucks,
Dh has Italian parents,he seems to have this way of looking sexy, even when dressed like a complete scruf (which is most of the time).
I came home from work and he told me of the trip, he whispered "I want to show you Rome", sounds very romantic does'nt it....Well what he neglected to mention, was that it coinsided with Wales V Italy ( rugby), and he has tickets for the match !!! Lucky me !!! How wonderful to share Rome with thousands of Welsh rugby Fans.
(No offence to any Welsh girls, I'm half Welsh myself, and we live there.)

bossykate, FYI I bought have a pair of high waisted boot cut cords from jigsaw a year or so ago. I think they are still doing a similar style.

Thanks for the compliments re old and frumpy. I do try my best, especially for mumsnet meetups. You should see what I look like for the school run in the morning, though.

Glad I am not alone in liking denim and fleeces. Is it me or does anyone else think there are far fewer fleeces in the shops this year? Why is this, they wash far better than many knits. Perhaps they wear so well that fashion retailers are worried - no chance of them falling apart. Not enought inbuilt obsolescence?

All I want are one or two very lightweight fleeces that I can wear indoors, but, even when I've found suitable ones, the styles and colour ranges are so limited.

Like soupdragon and others, I'm all for clumpy trainers. But why do so many come in suede (suede!) or predominantly white or cream leather? I ask you!

I have set my heart on getting a pair of trainers in mostly mauve/ maroon /red leather, with a thickish sole because otherwise my trouser hems drag along the ground. After hours of searching over many months, because I have limited clothes shopping time, I have seen one pair that fit my credentials. They cost eighty five pounds.

Just an aside for the fatface enthusiasts: I don't know many fashion people, but I did know in passing the main designer(for a long while)of the fatface and bratface labels. She was an amazing woman with four children under five years old - she used to bring her baby into work. Might explain why the clothing is so child friendly.