I am not sure where to post this, or even why I am posting. I'm sitting here just feeling so sad. My dad is dying, he has had cancer for what feels like forever and there is nothing left to be done. It could be hours or days, but not long now. In many ways it will be a blessed relief, as he is in so much pain. But I feel so sad. My children only remember him being ill, and he has had no voice for such a long time that I can't even remember what he sounds like. He has lost so much weight, and is so ill. He is in so much pain. I feel so alone, I have no-one to talk to and this is a way of letting it out. I am just so bloody tired of pretending everything is fine when I just want to cry and be looked after right now. I am so angry that he has to suffer like this. I wish I could cry, I'm sure that would help, but don't seem to be able to. If I start I might never stop. No-one in RL knows how I am, they all think I'm so strong, but I feel so alone and isolated right now. I can't sleep, I am so tired but still awake. Feeling sad. When I sleep I dream of him dying, and feel even sadder.