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How do we make the decision to have children now?

35 replies

Cwmtydu · 04/02/2005 16:28

Hallo Mumsnetters! This is my first post, and in introduction, I'm 27 and don't yet have any children. I hope I'm welcome despite this cos I've been lurking for a long time now and really wanted to ask you all something. Hope this is the right forum too, I wasn't sure it fitted anywhere else.

DH (first time I've written that!) and I have been married for six months, and have been together for eight years. We're both sure that we want children and we're both very interested in everything to do with children -- I'm obsessed with Mumsnet and we watch all the parenting stuff on telly, and we talk about it a lot. We haven't got a lot of experience however with real life children!

I know that having children will have a big impact on our lives (obviously) and I've considered that a lot. I'm a bit worried about my job, which is actually three jobs, and stopping that even temporarily will involve giving up a lot of control (it's not high-powered, just I'm the only one who does the jobs). But I assume everybody worries about the impact it'll have on their lives, and at some point you just have to make the decision that it's time to do it.

That's what I'm having trouble with. We're sure we want to do this, but when it comes to leaving the condom off we just find it hard to take that final no-going-back step. I'm also aware that when we do, conceiving won't necessarily be as easy as I'm hoping it will be. So, anyway, how do we finally make that decision to do it now? How did you? Any thoughts? I wish it would just happen accidentally, but it's not that easy!

OP posts:
prunegirl · 04/02/2005 21:49

Message withdrawn

Newbarnsleygirl · 04/02/2005 21:56

That is sooo true Kama.

I wanted a child so badly. I was watching all the programmes, reading lots of books and what did it eventually was when I worked in Mothercare!

I would sit on my dinner hour looking through the Mothercare catalogue picking out what I would buy!

That was 2 years ago and I now have a dd who is 16 months!

Once that baby bug gets you.........

Good luck!

marj · 04/02/2005 21:57

Your whole life will turn upside down and it wont be anything like it is now, but that is not necessarily a bad thing.
My ds comes first in everything but its great, and I cant believe I didnt have a baby sooner. (I am 31 now.) Sounds cliched I know, but being a parent is a privelege and its fantastic. Very trying at times, but fantastic!!

marthamoo · 04/02/2005 22:08

Just in case you need more persuasion when you have a baby you can buy stuff like this and this!

Cwmtydu · 04/02/2005 22:21

lol marthamoo! (in a sentimental sort of way). You're right, I want a baby hammock!

OP posts:
Newbarnsleygirl · 04/02/2005 22:27

Those hammocks are fantastic.

Hmmm, the baby bug is starting to get me again!

beansprout · 04/02/2005 22:34

Our ds is 3 months old, and yep, it's all changed, but nature is a wonderful thing and for me, the 8 months notice was long enough. By the time he arrived, I was just longing to meet him and every day I am glad he is here (understatement). If we all thought about it too long, we would never do it, but come on in, the water is lovely!!!

Cwmtydu · 09/02/2005 17:23

Thought I'd update you all... Did it on Monday!!! Thanks so much for all your replies, I think it was what we needed just to confirm our decision (notice I didn't post this question on www.peoplewhohaven'tgotchildrenanddon'twantchildrenandarequitehappythankyounet.com which might have had some bearing on the fact that I got the answers I was looking for...).

I think Monday was maybe a day or two too late to conceive this month, and obviously there's not much probability that it will happen after one try, but I am so hoping that we have. I've making up symptoms even though the sperm've barely got there yet (is being hungry a symptom??? ). Trying not to get too hopeful but it suddenly feels even more important that I get pregnant.

Mostly I'm trying not to bore dh too much by going on and on and on about it all the time; I'm scared I'll put him off the idea. I think I might need mumsnet...

OP posts:
beansprout · 09/02/2005 17:40

Love your other mythical website!! But as you say, the fact that you posted here does sort of answer your question!

Very best of luck with your ttc. We are all available, any time for the tiniest detail of whatever you want to talk about.

It is different now, but I very much felt that I had finished with that other phase of my life, and it was time for me to move onto something else. Being pregnant was fab and MN made me feel that I finally belonged to something very, very special (parenthood). Sniff.

beansprout · 09/02/2005 17:41

Ahem, I didn't mean all the details of you ttc!!

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