anyone been in this sort of situation?

[cutekids]

my Dad is very,very poorly in hospital.i'm very close to him and so are my kids. we've been told that it's unlikely he's ever going to go back home again.(he has dementia anyway and now he has a urinary tract infection which appears to have contributed to him getting septicaemia).He's asleep although responding sometimes when we speak or touch his hands.
Thing is, we have a holiday booked for a week on Sunday.My Mum has told me I should go as the last thing my Dad would want is for me to cancel a holiday like this.(i'm going with friends and their families to "celebrate" all becoming 40 this year).Now I know that if things get any worse, there is absolutely no way that we could even think about going on holiday but at the moment, if they find the correct antibiotic for him, there's a possibility that he could come out of this. I am absolutely at a loss as to what to do. Does anyone know what would happen if we cancelled? Obviously,my hubbie and kids wouldn't go without me. Help!

news about your dad...have you got insurance against cancellation ?

We were on hols (cottage in Dorset) when my granny died-she'd been ill for a little while..I was there with my dh and son and my parents. Dad and I drove to the hospital which was in Sussex to see her and raced to organise death cert. etc and to see my great aunt,then went back to Dorset to carry on the holiday and organise things for the funeral a couple of weeks later from there. Really hope it doesn't come to this with your dad, but there are ways around things.

I think only you can decide as it's what you can live with if he did pass away while you were away. If it was me I would probably go and see him before I went away. I would reason that as long as your mum is ok with it then you should go. There is absolutely nothing you can do if he passes away. But don't go if you will feel guilty and not enjoy your holiday.

oh yes, i do have insurance. i was just wondering how it works when it's my dad who's poorly. would they only pay out for me? (This sounds really callous when my Dad's lying there in hospital doesn't it? I'm just trying to be practical.)

do you mean would it pay out if you had to cancel for you -iyswim ? As rebelmum says,there's nothing you can really do if he died while you were away - my dad did have to go and sort out the immediate paperwork etc being next of kin - I just went with him to hold his hand and see my granny and my great aunt and share the driving..plus it was his birthday so he needed looking after

rebelmum,that's absolutely true.there's nothing i can do to prevent my dad from passing away.however,although my Mum's a very strong character,i do have to consider her don't I? God, this is really awful isn't it? I'm just so torn between giving my kids a sense of normality and worrying about my Dad.My kids aren't hidden from anything though as i've been as honest as I can be without scaring them too much.

Maryannsingleton, I mean: If I cancelled holiday (for all 5 of us) in the next 2 weeks because i'm worried,would I get a refund for all of us? Or would they only pay out if-God forbid-he passes away?

it's a very difficult one.
My Mum went on holiday a few days before her Mum (my Grandma died) It had been booked like yours and we had no way of knowing how long Grandma would last (she was unconscious). Mum was away when she died and, TBH, I think she preferred it that way. I didn't becuase we had to deal with it all and my Mum wasn't there to support me but that was just something she had to do.

Really - you want to be there for your Mum don't you? And maybe to say goodbye to your Dad? Why don't you say goodbye before you go and be available to come back if you're needed?

uh, not sure at all how it works I'm afraid cutekids, I think the former though,if I were to guess...really hope it's all ok for you

This is such a horrible decision to have to make.I'm gonna have to talk it out with my hubbie.I think-although he's very fond of my Dad himself-he'll persuade me to go-unless of course there's a real down-turn.I'm completely at a loss as to what to do and I doubt i'd be able to enjoy it when I got there.

Thankyou MaryAnnSingleton.

Maybe you should make the choice for your children. My dad had a heart attack and was rushed into hospital and had a triple heart bypass op, my mum has dementia and they both live in France. I haven't been to see them yet because my dd was very ill at the time, there was no way I could take her with me. It's tough when you are torn like that, I empathise.

Is there any way you could talk to your father's doctor's about this? Mention quietly (out of your mother's hearing) that you have a holiday booked and ask if they think it would be advisable to travel right now?