Do you have a 'rich inner life'?

[Twattergy]

And if so, what's in there?!
I think I do, in so much that despite a fairly busy life I spend quite a lot of time in my own head, and I like it.
For me, a rich inner life means I enjoy thinking about a range of 'non essential' things like music, nature, art. I'm interested in my own ideas and in how I process the world around me. I am company for myself, if that makes sense.
Unsurprisingly I'm therefore quite happy spending time alone. I am also very sociable. So it's not at the expense of connecting with others.

Yes. I love reading but I also have inner alternative lives that really help. I think it's called maladaptive daydreaming.

You sound exactly like me OP! I love my inner life.

That's nice to hear @xino! I'm glad to have it. Intrigued by what others do 'in' their inner lives. Or indeed if people don't feel they have this...

Why is it called maladaptive and not just daydreaming?

Massively so. Elaborate scenarios from quite petty things like imagining solving an issue at work and everyone being pleased to grandiose best selling author type things.

What seems more unusual is I also have a very long standing (like 20 years) fantasy house daydream. I imagine every detail and myself moving through the space. Lots of it is underground it's defining features are calmness and being very secure. I think (sadly) it's an artifact of feeling unsafe and chaotic in my childhood.

I think it's only called maladaptive if if it interferes with normal life.

@TwattergyI read lots of books on spirituality and philosophy. I spend a lot of time pondering my ‘infiniteness’! And also pondering whether the universe is just a projection of our collective minds. God I’ve just realised I sound quite mad. I just find it all so fascinating, this thing called life. I question everything.

Like you I have a good social life and lots of friends but am never happier than when I’m alone in my thoughts.

@HiZevI enjoy imagining interiors too. I don't have one set place, but to get to sleep I enjoy imaging a lovely home and I walk through it in my mind. My favourite imagined space is a peaceful pale flat in the centre of a cosmopolitan city, with comfy sofas, beautiful art and objet chosen by me. Very calm and indulgent.

I think of having a rich inner life as being partly about really knowing yourself. Working with yourself to understand the way you are. The good stuff and the messy stuff. And from there working out what you really want from life.

I don't and I don't have any kind of inner monologue or anything either. I live my life only in relation to other people and ironically, it is very lonely sometimes!

@FigAboutTheRulesdefinitely agree. I do think it is a space to know and understand oneself, a tool of sorts. I also like that it is 100% mine and private, like my own personal domain. It's a source of self sufficiency for me.

@distinctpossibilitythis is so interesting. So does that mean you can only process things in terms of what happens in the 'outside world'? I would find that lonely too as I wouldn't have me alongside me (if that makes sense?). I do feel I am a companion to myself.

I do, wouldn’t tell anyone this in real life but I make up stories and have characters that I have made up and I think up stories about them. Imagine their houses and what they wear and everything

I like to think I do. I spend a lot of time daydreaming and imagining certain things. I listen to music almost all the time and read a lot. I am perfectly happy on my own and don’t seek validation from external sources. It is this that has seen me through a terrible marriage and subsequent drawn out separation prices which has meant I’ve had to remain living with the other person. Instead of wallowing in self pity, I’ve worked on improving my health and fitness and I’ve planned out a party including guest list and playlist. It can be very helpful to have a vivid imagination and the ability to daydream.

Yes, I suppose part of it is a more simple feeling of only having value if I am creating/ doing/ being something to or for someone else. Like a toxic productivity?

Part of it is that I am uncomfortable in my own company. Even if I am doing something "on my own" I would say go to Tesco or to a theatre so I'm around other people.

The other, probably biggest, part is that I'm just not that much of a deep thinker about art, nature, whatever. I am emotionally intelligent and I do wonder whether it's because my interest or hobby is specifically other people. As in, understanding them, collecting their friendship and stories and the piecework that makes them unique like accents and turns of phrase, and observing them, in the same way some people might do about trains or birds or artwork. Would explain why I had four kids I suppose!

I do and love it. I am always thinking about nature and art and what I'm going to eat for lunch.

I also use it when I have insomnia to imagine nice things and situations especially if my insomnia is caused by stress. I also occasionally work as an exam invigilator and if I am not required as a scribe or reader will use it to run through my favourite Beethoven symphony start to finish. (Although sometimes that gets too intense and I think instead about past trips to Paris or my Amazon wishlist).

I think I do, though it’s hard to know how the inside of my head differs to the next person’s.
I’m an invigilator, and quite happy in a role many others suggest they would find boring. I’m never bored. I watch my candidates, make sure they have what they need, look out for suspicious behaviour and just THINK about all sorts. Love it!

@distinctpossibilityso it sounds like you build your interests and thinking via people and the outside world, whilst I'd do that gathering/observing kind of more internally. And fascinating that you have 4 kids to my 1! I also think that my inner companionship had an effect on limiting my desire for multiple kids as the more of them there'd be, the less space for 'inner me'. And you are the opposite!

I met someone last week who has aphantasia. She was fascinating as she could describe really well the 'nothingness' in her mind. She was articulate, erudite and clearly very intelligent and she could describe well about how she essentially has no mind-thoughts or mind-images. She could not visualise anything really. Not what she wants for lunch, or how to get to a destination she has been to before by running it through in her mind. No sense of recalling a nice memory. She was as baffled by my describing how if I am bored I can run through films or memories or imagine anything as I was by her. She also said she does not really dream as such and never 'got' what people were talking about when they talked about dreaming.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aphantasia

@MeltonInTheHeat my DH has aphantasia and I have hyperphantasia! He thinks completely in words with no imagery! I find that difficult to comprehend and love my (very full!) inner life. It’s a major event if the (incredibly rare) event of a hazy dream occurs for DH. He doesn’t lack imagination though and it’s been an interesting 40 years!

Had she never met anyone like that before considering I think most people have an inner life personal to them?

To be honest, it’s hard to know how the only mind I inhabit differs from all the ones I don’t, but I enjoy my life, generally, am intellectually curious, write novels for a living, so am always plotting, imagining, collecting expressions, gestures, insights for characters, love art and music, and am making a garden. I read voraciously in five languages, my friendships ate important to me, and I’m never bored in my own company.

In my 50s I realised that, whilst I like people, I'm unlucky in friendships. So I decided to cultivate my hinterland (that's not a phrase I'd say out loud!).

I love walking in nature, in cities with beautiful architecture, music, listening to old radio dramas and podcasts like The Rest is History/Politics.

I've started to go to the theatre and cinema and I've got some trips planned to art exhibitions. I want to start reading more as I've mainly listened to audiobooks for years.

I still need my people fix - lucky to have a happy marriage, good relationship with adult DD and a couple of friends - but literature, music, nature, drama and coffee shops all help me feel more connected to the world.

It's so interesting!!

Thinking in words only must be interesting. I wonder if that makes him good at languages?

My DS1 has synaesthesia which for him means he thinks in colours and sometimes smells. There was an AMA on it which i clicked on randomly and realised 'That's what DS does!'.

Yes, this is me! I love reading and daydreaming, planning things I'm going to do, finding new interest areas and learning about them, thinking in general, journalling my thoughts.

I often feel at the weekend that I should do something more 'Saturday night', like watch a film, but most of the time I prefer to read and I always have.

That's not to say that I don't enjoy TV or films, or that I'm anti social, but I consider myself an ambivert and need a balance of my own thoughts and company and social engagement.