Lodger questions

[Tea4ten]

I’ve recently taken a lodger. I have a two bedroom flat.

I like her and we get on well.
she’s been here five weeks.

the first weekend she asked if a friend could stay for two nights. I was surprised but ok.
yesterday she announced that a different friend was staying the night … only one night.

am I being unreasonable here?

she’s only been here for five/six weeks.

I’d nip this in the bud, not ban it but make it clear it’s to be requested and not often.

Did the friends cause you any bother? They didn't leave a mess, eat your food, wake you up, hog the shower? If not then I think it's fine. But make it clear it needs to be requested and can't be every weekend.

You'd hope it would balance out in that some weekends she'd be staying somewhere else?

I have lodgers and don't allow overnight guests but I do make it clear what my expectations are when they come to view the room. It might be too late for you but next time, just say no overnight guests. The lodger isn't your friend, you don't have to make her like you.

Surely she’s entitled to quiet enjoyment? If she’s not being a bother or affecting you in any way then what’s the problem? I think it’s courteous of her to even inform you, it wouldn’t have occurred to me to inform my landlord that a friend was staying when I was a lodger 20 years ago. Because it was my home too. That I paid rent for.

The lodger is renting one room for one person with probably use of kitchen bathroom and living room. Yanbu as the friend is not renting a room from you. She/ he is not contributing towards gas electric, house insurance etc. I know someone who rents rooms and who states that a friend can stay for the same amount of nights that they host the lodger. Not surprisingly the lodgers tend not to have friends staying regularly

I should point out that she is a lodger, not a tenant and as such, much is dependent on courtesy and trust. I intend to point out that in the future I would like notice of any overnight stays. I’ve now been informed that her guest intends to stay a second night. I don’t want to be a curmudgeon but I am not wildly happy. I’m a naturally kind person but this feels very cheeky….so early on. I’m a single woman and although I trust my lodger and have references I’ve no idea who her guests are.

You really need to make it clear to her that you do not allow overnight visits.

Perhaps tell her that you have checked your insurance policy and over night stays, by your lodgers guests, are not covered under your policy.

Toughen up and say no.

I do not allow my lodgers guests to stay over. It easily escalates and it’s much easier to forbid it entirely.

Good luck!

Two guests in six weeks seems reasonable enough to me. It's her home, she should be able to have friends to stay.

You should have agreed all this before accepting her as a lodger . Have an amicable conversation now and find a compromise about how long and how often visits can happen- your as well as hers, and how much notice is needed. If you can't agree she will have to leave.

Is she paying you extra for the water/electrics when she has people overnight?

Thank you all. Yes I should have had the conversation beforehand. I will talk to her amicably tomorrow.

She isn’t paying extra for overnight guests.