Redundancy - how do you cope

[grommit]

My husband has just been told today that he has been made redundant after 12 years. He seems to be taking it very well but I am stressing out. Has anyone else any personal experience of redundancy?

Hi Grommit
Sorry to hear abt your h's redundancy. This is my experience of it , probably quite different.
I accepted voluntary redundancy 4 yrs ago just before my 3rd child was born. I was able to get a good deal with maternity pay too. It has been a struggle financially as I earned more than dh, (we were both part time). But we stretched out the money and I got redundancy insurance for 6 months and it has been great for me altho we are now always overdrawn, no car, no holidays except staying with grandparents etc. I am now looking around for part time work but not in a hurry as really we have got used to living like this and I like being at home.
I guess it depends what type of work your h. does &
where you are whether he'll be able to find sth else quickly. Maybe a short period at home would be nice for all the family, if there is an end in sight? My dh was unemployed when my eldest was a baby and did most of the childcare but he really found it hard as it seemed infinite, he didnt know if/when he wd get a decent job. He didnt get into all the plaroup/NCT type scene at all either. English is not his 1st language which didnt help, he felt v isolated and it works much better for us when he is working, even if the income is lower.
I hope that things work out for you both.

Thanks Soyabean
Batters - it would help to hear your experiences

Having just recently gone through this, I think in some ways grommit, it will be more stressful for you than your dh. He's got plenty of things to plan in his mind - game plan for looking for new jobs, CV to brush up, agencies to contact etc. Any stress he's feeling is being channelled into something constructive, whereas it's harder for you to plan and it feels very much more out of your hands.

You do get through it though, and as has already been said it's never as bad as you fear. My parents lived through my father being made redundant 12 times in the space of 10 years - I still don't know how they managed (one was 2 weeks after he'd started the job!) but they did. Belts were tightened, most of my christmas and birthday presents were homemade (I still have great memories of the bagatelle board, the wendy house, the stuffed toys - all better quality than you could buy in shops and at a fraction of the price), no expensive convenience foods... I'm still sure my mother worried more than my father!

Grommit - nothing useful to add but just wanted to reiterate how 'common' it is, my DH has also been made redundant- because of the 'pay off' he received he was able to take some time off to look for a job he really wanted, which ended up being better than his old one. Good luck, I can appreciate how stressful it can be.

Grommit nothing useful to add as haven't been there myself, just wanted to add my support. I constantly feel like I may be made redundant in my role, especially as it's part time and it's a worrying thought. As everyone says though, it's rarely as bad as you think.

Hi Grommit:

Sorry to hear the news. It can be quite stressful. Last year I lost my job in March, then DP lost his in August, so we were both out of work. I took a job in September, and he has now been hired elsewhere, so we are now both working, and actually both have gotten significant increases.

But it was, and still is, stressful. When DP lost his job, I accepted one that I probably would not have, but was panicked about money. I like my job - but the hours are long, as is the commute.

It was tough financially, no doubt about it, and we are still playing catch-up. Very lean Christmas this year! But we both knew that it would work out - it always does, doesn't it? Hang in there - it is entirely possible, and quite likely, that he will end up in an even better position, you just don't know it yet.

Best of luck.

Unfortunately all to much of it grommit as I got laid off at the end of last October.

Lack of sleep, excessive worrying and lack of appetite because of worrying about paying all the bills was what I went through. And I know I wasn't as bad as some because I walked into another job the day after I got laid off, just that this one was a load more hours and a lot less money to start with.

I wish you and your DH the best of luck in coping with this and in finding new work.

Grommit I do hope a better job is just round the corner... we have been living on the edge of redundancy for over a year now dh seems to be fine, no worries but then he doesn't talk about his feelings unless really pushed as for me I worry non-stop then feel really happy that we are all healthy etc then start worrying 2 mins later. Sorry not to be of any use etc

I was made redundant in March 1996, at the same time as dh was looking for another job (all juniour docs work on 6 month contracts - he was looking for the next one).
We decided to move as my redundancy had been due to massive restucturing in the education sector where we were living at the time, and there was little possibility of supply work. We moved to the Outer Hebrides, where I did a masters by correspondance and dh went to work, and it was the best decision we ever made - we would not have done it if it hasn't been for me losing my job, and so in many ways redundancy was the best thing that ever happened to us!

Hi Grommit! I found out yesterday that I have been made redundant too after 6 years! I am also taking it well I think as I have worked out how long we can manage on my payout and it gives me till next Jan to find another job. On the other hand I want to get one as soon as this one ends so that I can bank the payout and turn the experience into a good thing. I have been told that I will have good days and bad and expect it will be the same for your DH. I am not looking forward to job hunting - does anyone have any advice?? I am very nervous about finding out if anyone else wants to employ me!

Mumma - sorry to hear that! I wish you luck - hopefully as a lot of people keep telling me it will work out for the best!
Mam - exactly my feelings!
Someone once said to me that if you are worrying about something to think of the worst thing that could happen to you and that helps put your worries into perspective
Thanks everyone else for your replies - starting to feel a bit better

Make sure that he gets all the money owed to him. We had a battle with dh employers but after contacting CAB and researching on the internet, we got the money to which we were entitled. DH was made redundant shortly after birth of ds but in the long run worked out better as dh spent alot of time with ds in his early years.

Grommit and Mumma
sorry to hear your news and I'd like to agree with all that has already been said about making sure you get all that you are due, signing on straight away and accepting any benefits that you are entitled to a you. Also, get you DH to ask if his company will provide him with help in finding other work, updating his CV etc. I was made redundant 2 years ago and was amazed at the help that i could have got if I'd wanted it (even counselling to cope with the shock etc). Also, if you think that you might struggle financially for a while, tell your mortgage provider etc now so that they see you are being sensible and responsible about your new situation.

I wish you and DH all the very best for the future.

We are awaiting birth of no2 (23rd Feb)to go with 17th month old dd. DH has actually applied for voluntary redundncy (to happen in April) as he is disillusioned with job, would get a good deal and says he is looking forward to spending more time with kids. Perhaps we are being blase, but are looking forward to him being at home all through my mat leave & him really getting to know the kids. Depends on your attitude to work I suppose, he is quite looking forward to escaping the rat race and thinking of it as an opportunity to change his life. like susanmt, we are thinking we may be able to buy a cheap property (abroad) and really change our lives if we're brave enough.

Obviously money comes into it and it seems that - if we stay living here - that I will need to work full-time. But i quite like my job and its only 5 mins away so that's good. Sorry if this sounds too sunny and not your experience, but I hope that if the finances are ok that (cliche alert)it turns into a positive life- changing experience rather than a horrible one.

My hubby has been made redundant 3 times, twice shortly after the births of our daughters, and it is a scary thing. The most important thing is that you stick together and don't let money worries translate into arguments about other little things. We had a problem in that hubby got no redundancy pay so we were living off what little savings we had for paying the mortgage etc, and for a while hubby was being picky about what jobs he applied for, when to me he couldn't afford to be picky. It did get to the point one day when I told him not to come home without a job - he came home with a couple of days work, then the week after he got another full time job. It didn't pay as much as he'd been on previously, and he's still actually trying to work his way back up the ladder, but we're ok. At the time I kept telling myself that as long as we had each other, food to eat and a roof over our heads, we were still a lot luckier than many other people. It'll work out in the end, and may open more opportunities than you would have had before.

Sorry to hear your news. This happened to us a couple of years ago. My practical advice would be:

1. Have a few days time out. You've got your redundancy money and so financially you will be OK for a short while. Get angry, have a cry, feel sorry for yourself and then start on an action plan.
2. Tell your bank/building society as soon as possible, plus your credit card companies etc. I found that the earlier you told them what was going on they were more than happy to help. The credit card company immediately allowed us to reduce our payments for a six month period and the bank started organising the forms we needed to make the relevant claims. We put our pension payments on hold and decided what we could cancel to save cash, eg we didn't actually need the full Sky subscription!
3. Contact your local Job Centre. Get on the books and use their advice. Our one gave us details of a job club where dh could go and use a computer and fax for free to send off CVs, they had all the newspapers and other job adverts, gave job advice and even helped dh put together a sock it to them CV.
4. Find out if a temping job could be the short term solution and how it might affect any benefits and insurance you might be entitled to.
5. Don't panic. Its just a job, you've got your house, your health and supportive friends and family. Unemployment rates are currently very low and there are plenty of jobs around.

All the very best to you and yours. It is a shock, but you will get back on track. As it turned out dh was only unemployed for 3 weeks before he found another job. His next job wasn't ideal, but it got him back into it and then he found a job that he really liked and has been there ever since.

Good luck