My husband and children hate me

[Thatisme]

Basically that.
I'm just needed for what I do for everyone and nothing else. It's not the kids' fault, theirs is learnt behaviour. Mum bashing, whether it's in jest or anger, is a daily occurrence. My reactions only seem to make things worse. It's awful and I can't win. I'll always be in the wrong. The one who was always there for them, is the one who they now reject. Is there a point when we actually break? A point of no return. I'm so angry because life is so short and so precious and mine is wasted being unhappy and bitter. Soon enough I'll be too old to change it, the kids will have flown the nest.....and what will I have left? Nothing

So they don’t hate you. They’ve learnt how to treat you from their father? Time to get away from him then.

YANBU - I think a fair few women slip into this pattern of relationships, sadly. I think I did - I neglected myself for years. I'm divorced now, and I'm finally learning this.
Boundaries are what you need. It's really, really hard when you're used to pleasing everyone and putting everyone else first at the expense of yourself.
I learned mine through therapy, and it really is life-changing. I've still a fair way to go tbh, but it's truly enlightening.
You are a person too. Start by doing one thing a week that is just for YOU. Whatever it is - just something you want to do. Non-negotiable, non-cancellable - just for you.

Book yourself a holiday and let them look after themselves. I am sure they will have more respect when you get back!

How old are the kids?

is it meant as teasing ( which had gone wrong) or is there an edge to it? Ie is it meant to ‘put you in your place.’

are you tired/ drained Anne more sensitive than usual?

agree with aPP about putting in some boundaries, stepping back from rushing in to do things for them. And going off for a time to leave them all to it/ you recharge and reset things.

You need to be very firm with your husband. There is no excuse for you constantly being the butt of jokes, this is your life, you only get one and you will not be stating around to tolerate it.

This is abuse from your partner - and learned behaviour from them.

HI op, how's is going ?

Hi! Thank you everyone for your replies and sorry for disappearing. I know what I should do, but I'm not in a position to do it. I just wouldn't be able to survive. The kids are good kids, not their fault. The disrespect is modelled, and they follow. I've given up trying to fix things.