My dads old friends funeral

[Carol52]

My dad passed away 4 years ago and one of his old work colleagues/ friends passed away. He did not really bother either my dad for a few years occasionally speaking to him in the village. I don’t know whether to go to the funeral to represent my dad. It was Covid rules still when my dad died so no one came or even bothered to send a card. Any thoughts

If you can go I would.

Even though for years when my dad was old and deteriorating they did not bother

I wouldn’t go. He was your Dads colleague not yours.

If you are available, and have known him for many years, then I would go. Not something I'd take annual leave for, but if I were retired / not on shift / on a non working day, then I would.

Sounds like you don't want to though, in which case, don't.

Would it give you peace, a kind of closure or a feeling you'd done the right thing to go? If so, then I'd go. Better to do that than regret not doing it after.

If it's none of the above, could you not go, but send a card or message to the family with your condolences and a line what good friends your dad and theirs had been.

You seem to be harbouring some resentment so there doesn’t seem any point. Are you being pressured to go?

Would your dad have gone, despite them not really having a lot of contact of late? If so, then yes, go.

It sounds like you feel hurt by their lack of communication or care about dad when he was ill.

So in that case I wouldn't go. If you were to feel overcome with emotion and blurt something out about it it would be upsetting for everyone.

As you say, he wasn't close towards the end, and he wasn't your friend in the first place.

Sounds like there were colleagues who drifted apart when life changed. I wouldn't bother going and I am Irish and go to lots of funerals.

Thanks everybody. I didn’t go in the end.