School run giving me the worst anxiety

[Sunday367]

Does anyone else feel like the school run just gives the the worst anxiety?
DD first child, this is all new taking her back and forth and the conversations with the parents just genuinely stress me out, I always come away second guessing what I’ve said, some mums are clicky but on their own individually they’re fine, I don’t think I’m cut out for this new chapter, I always feel very stressed about DD day as well not that you can get much out of a 5 year old and just hope she’s kind to others

I think if the school run gives you the worst anxiety you're experiencing then youve got a pretty good life.

It'll get easier.

Why do you need to have conversations?

I never get the angst on here about the school run. Much of the time I just turn up, drop off and leave, same with collection. If there are any cliques then I wouldn’t know. If I see someone I am friendly with then I will chat to them if I’m a few mins early or I have a couple of good pals I will stand with if they are collecting that day, but otherwise I just deposit or collect and leave and that’s it 🤷‍♀️

Okay maybe I’m overreacting a tad, I mean I just come anyway constantly over thinking everything I’ve said and yeah very anxious 😂

I’m quite socially awkward, DD is in Y1 but we moved area over the summer so didn’t know anyone yet, I’ve had small conversations here and there but to avoid it, I tend to work from my phone (I do the school runs whilst working as I WFH flexibly) and this tends to mean people don’t disturb me. It probably makes me look unsociable but I’m not the only parent on their phone whilst waiting so I don’t stand out. Try it, or call a friend/relative whilst waiting for her to come out. Presumably the mornings are easier as you drop and go? Your DD will be fine, she won’t tell you what she’s been up to, they never do, but she will have a great day ☺️

It’s an adjustment but conversations just need to be “morning, gosh the weather is rubbish isn’t it”… at most. I used to focus on the dc (I had 3 so only spoke to people I actually wanted to catch for some reason). Ignore the clique - watching from the sidelines is honestly more entertaining. Don’t blow things out of proportion.

re getting info from your dc, something that worked well for us was to say “tell me 3 things about your day - 2 good and 1 bad but if nothing bad happened then 3 good things is fine”. This was asked at the dinner table rather than straight after school - they need to decompress.

Thank you for replying!

will definitely be giving this ago! I’ve tried leaving a bit later so I’m not waiting for a long time but still end up just chatting but just look really friendly!
My DD had a bad start in nursery so I suppose I just hope that everything is all ok and I’m sure she’d tell me if they weren’t!

Definitely gets easier. When kids start having class parties there's more opportunity to talk to other parents.

My eldest is Year 3 now and lots of the kids are in wraparound care at least one end of the day so all the parents hardly see each other any more.

As for your DD's day, unlike nursery/preschool, I've found it's more a case of 'no news is good news'. One of my friends swears by not asking DC anything about their day until they've had an hour at home to unwind.

I was going to come on and say I've been there - but I had 3 at primary school, one of whom had ADHD and found going into school stressful (massive meltdowns) and would also do unpredictable things like remove his and his brothers' seatbelts or hit them en route in the car.

I think if you find it this stressful your DC will sense that and they will be stressed. Have a think about what is really driving this? Perhaps you haven't faced this many people you don't yet know since you were at school? It's understandable to feel you're back in the playground yourself.

Maybe you can reframe it to yourself. Some of these people will be genuine friends in all likelihood, some of them you need never speak to. Some of them will be the parents of your DCs best friends - perhaps for life.

I'd make sure you go to social events if you can and then you won't feel like they are strangers,

I actually think you’re right it’s like being back in school, I actually recognise some of them from school- maybe this is what’s making me feel like I need to constantly watch what I say 🙈 and you’re right with some of these people will turn into best friends for her!

I definitely feel better after reading some of these comments especially on how to approach DD day!

Glad you’re feeling better, OP. I always over analyse these things as well, but I tend to go the opposite way and chat too much. Hopefully a gregarious sort will befriend you! If you’re shy just smile and nod for now. You’ll get to year six and wonder what all the fuss was about!

That is absolutely me, once I start chatting I can’t stop then after I’m like why did I say that even though I bet it’s absolutely nothing, I just can’t help over thinking it🙈
I also have a 10 month old and due to go back to work soon, so maybe this is also a factor of everything changing! Thank you so much for replying, I honestly feel better after reading everyone’s comments!

I kind of get it - biggest stress for me is getting them there on to school on time and then to work. I avoid the parents-chat and small talk as much as possible, not to mention whatsapp groups! Not sure if that's possible for you but it might help?