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Housing list advice

16 replies

Katiemarie96 · 14/11/2025 13:21

currently on the housing register to go from a 2 bed to a 3 bed as my daughter needs her own bedroom due to asd. My 2 year old is showing similar behaviours to her aswell as early signs of maybe adhd. Our flat is open plan front room and kitchen and we are struggling so badly to keep her out of the kitchen and due to the room layouts there is now way we can put in an extending baby gate to keep her out, she is now climbing over the back of the sofa to get out there. We have locks of the cupboards but she is constantly pulling at them, how long until she manages to get them off as she gets older. I am really concerned for her safety but our local council do not give a shit. We’ve been on the list 2.5 years already and are getting no where in band C with an overcrowding need and medical need and now with a huge safety concern for our daughter my mental health has taken a huge dive constantly stressing and worrying about her safety, I’m not sleeping not eating property just always worrying and yet I’ve told them all this had letters from my gp to help and nothing. My daughter already has 3 paediatrician letters, 2 gp letters and 3 letters from the school about how it’s affecting her I’ve had letters from my health visitor and the gp about my mental health and yet still they won’t help. Now adding the safety of our toddler so she doesn’t hurt herself and they still won’t listen. I have also found out a house became available and it was not advertised just offered out to somewhere who was in no greater need than us! I guess it really is a case of who you know not what you know! They keep telling us it’s done on banding then priority date yet this is not the first time we’ve caught them out just offering properties to people not in the first 20 or without it even being advertised fairly! I guess I want to know has anyone else experienced something like this? No one seems to want to help us, local councillor, chac, citizens advice have all been useless and just told us they think we should be in a higher band but not actually helping us get a higher band. I’m just really lost at the moment on what to do. What did you do that really made them listen and how long did it take? I am just gonna say anyone who says about private renting, for the type of place we would need would cost around £1500 in my area and we just could not afford that as it’s only my husband that currently works as I’m a stay at home parent and also a carer to my daughter.

OP posts:
YYURYYUCICYYUR4ME · 14/11/2025 13:36

I worked in housing, your circumstances are sadly not unique or unusual and that's the issue. No matter your points, there are / will be hundreds with far worse circumstances and needs. I know that's what you want to hear, but housing need due to children's additional needs is in very high demand, equates to rising issues in our education system.

Shakeandvacuum · 14/11/2025 16:12

First post nails it.
I think I read recently that nearly 20% of school children have SEND now. Soon it will be the majority, especially if it brings potential perks like larger council houses.

FoxgloveGarden05 · 14/11/2025 16:24

I have no advice to offer as it sounds as though you have done what you can with regards to letters confirming your circumstances. I am currently still sharing my bed with my child in primary school and my nursery-aged child as in the same boat. Severe disabilities (both my daughter and myself) yet nothing is likely going to come up. I don't know what to do as obviously frustrations tend to appear via violence in a lot of cases and she is regularly lashing out as a result. My other child's belongings regularly get damaged. (Before anyone says anything, my long-term relationship broke down hence the current circumstances) It is all such a struggle and I'm sorry you're currently going through this.

FoxgloveGarden05 · 14/11/2025 16:25

Shakeandvacuum · 14/11/2025 16:12

First post nails it.
I think I read recently that nearly 20% of school children have SEND now. Soon it will be the majority, especially if it brings potential perks like larger council houses.

What exactly did you mean by that with reference to "perks"? Not meaning this to come across as being argumentative at all, just curious

Shakeandvacuum · 14/11/2025 16:29

FoxgloveGarden05 · 14/11/2025 16:25

What exactly did you mean by that with reference to "perks"? Not meaning this to come across as being argumentative at all, just curious

I just meant being eligible for separate rooms for the children. Maybe a better word would have been benefit rather than perk?
Inevitably there will be some people who
learn to play the system. I’m not suggesting that the OP is one of those though.

Fayaway · 14/11/2025 16:31

Could you try a house swap? That way you would be able to choose only those properties that fit your needs. From a close friend’s experience, there are definitely those who want to downsize as well as size up! It was actually quicker in the end, and you have more control.

Dogaredabomb · 14/11/2025 16:37

I approached social services and they allocated I think about 450 extra points which put us at the top of the heap. This is decades ago though and before the bidding system. I said it was impossible for me to parent effectively and keep my children safe due to my housing.

Simplelifeneeded · 14/11/2025 16:38

We have been on the waiting list for 3.5 years in band A with medical grounds. I have 3 children with ASD and keeping them safe is one of my biggest issues.
We currently in a 2 bed 2nd floor flat.
DD has her own room
I sleep in the other bedroom with 2 younger boys with ASD and dh sleeps in the frontroom with the youngest.
I'd really struggle if or kitchen was open plan.

MonsterMunchLabubu · 14/11/2025 19:00

Do you work OP? Could you try going for a promotion or upskilling? Then you can rent/buy somewhere more suitable.

Shakeandvacuum · 14/11/2025 19:12

MonsterMunchLabubu · 14/11/2025 19:00

Do you work OP? Could you try going for a promotion or upskilling? Then you can rent/buy somewhere more suitable.

Read the OP!

it’s only my husband that currently works as I’m a stay at home parent and also a carer to my daughter.

Arlanymor · 14/11/2025 19:15

Shakeandvacuum · 14/11/2025 19:12

Read the OP!

it’s only my husband that currently works as I’m a stay at home parent and also a carer to my daughter.

I think you might have changed your username halfway through this thread..?

Shakeandvacuum · 14/11/2025 19:17

Arlanymor · 14/11/2025 19:15

I think you might have changed your username halfway through this thread..?

No, I’m not the OP. I just cut and pasted that sentence from the end of her original post

Arlanymor · 14/11/2025 19:18

Shakeandvacuum · 14/11/2025 19:17

No, I’m not the OP. I just cut and pasted that sentence from the end of her original post

Oh I see, sorry lack of quote marks confused me.

Shakeandvacuum · 14/11/2025 19:19

Arlanymor · 14/11/2025 19:18

Oh I see, sorry lack of quote marks confused me.

Sorry, I can see now that it was confusing!

Arlanymor · 14/11/2025 19:19

Shakeandvacuum · 14/11/2025 19:19

Sorry, I can see now that it was confusing!

No worries!

BoarBrush · 14/11/2025 20:41

I presume the two dds share?

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