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Giving up on friends

5 replies

chocchipbrioche · 06/11/2025 19:03

At what point do you give up on friends ? Especially when it’s ones you’ve known for a long time but it’s always you making plans to meet up and you contacting them.
I give my friends a lot of leeway as they have husbands and kids and I don’t have room to put them up if they come to town. In the past I’ve jumped on trains to go to theirs for the day but there seems to be a force field around London that stops them from visiting once they’ve left ???
It’s at the point now where it’s grating and if I’m honest upsetting. Especially when I see social media posts of them actually breaking through the London force field and visiting other friends but not making plans with me.
Part of me wants to be hard hearted and to say to hell with them but then the realistic side of me says if I do this I won’t have many friends left.
Each major landmark birthday I’ve celebrated I’ve culled the list of people who don’t give the same damn about me or didn’t make as much effort with me and cut contact with them but as I get older it’s harder to make new friends and strike up new friendships.
Anyone got any advice ?
Thanks

OP posts:
OriginalUsername2 · 06/11/2025 19:23

I’m guessing you’re early 30’s and everyone is settling down while you still want to have fun? It happens.

If you still enjoy each others’ company when you do get to see each other, I would take that at face value and try to accept that they have families and children taking up all their headspace and expect less of them. It might balance out again when the DC’s have grown if you stick around.

I also think some people are naturally drawn to organising social things and some aren’t.

BillieNoM888 · 06/11/2025 19:25

They drop off when husbands and babies come along.

chocchipbrioche · 06/11/2025 19:45

Yes some of what you’ve said is true but we are in our late 40’s. Their kids aren’t little anymore and they seem to have no problem leaving them with husbands at weekends to meet up with other friends.

OP posts:
BuddhaAtSea · 06/11/2025 19:59

Sometimes friendships run their course. I never overthink these scenarios, I offer 2-3 ‘chances’ so to speak, then I drop the rope. It’s not a big deal.
It’s just a sign you need new friends.

Pausedandwaited · 03/02/2026 14:28

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