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Mental health

9 replies

Katpet2006 · 13/10/2025 15:57

I wrote a thread a few weeks ago about my dad being ill and judgemental work colleagues, well this week after 6 weeks in hospital hes been told there's nothing more that can be done for him! He's at best got 4 years at worst 2 even worse if he gets any infections or has any falls he could be looking at a lot less! He's going to go home with a hospital bed and oxygen tanks, hes gonna have oxygen for 16 hours a day, his blood pressure is so low that he can barely stand, hes already fallen twice because of it, his heart is enlarged and his copd is well shocking because he now needs oxygen! I've been signed off work for a month with my mental health, I was suffering anyway but I think this has just piled the pressure on, im on medication and having good days but the news about my dad has absolutely floored me 😢 financially I can probably take another couple of weeks off work but ive not really heard anything from work apart from the odd message about Christmas doos and secret Santa's, my manager told me to watch some films and take my tablets and I'll soon smile again, my deputy who's mental health coordinator did reach out and say shes available to speak to but she's on holiday, im thinking of reducing my hours for 6 months and see if that helps, but im worried that won't be an option, as it stands me and my partner get one day off together and I'd like to be able to help with my dad's care so it makes sense to me to work Monday to Thursday then we have Fridays to go help with my dad and Saturdays for us as a couple, my heads just all over the place, I need to get back to work but I know my head isn't in a position to do so, I work with kids so I need to be on my game. Life's just hard right now 😪

OP posts:
Warmbroc · 13/10/2025 16:01

What is your father’s diagnosis?

Kosenrufugirl · 13/10/2025 16:06

Hi there, sorry to hear about your dad's situation. Have you tried getting some counselling? NHS waiting lists are very long. Can you go private?

What condition does your dad suffer from? There are many charities that support specific conditions. Charities usually have a group dedicated to supporting the relatives. Please do try to find out if one exists. Often the knowledge you are not alone is a massive help.

I hope it helps

Katpet2006 · 13/10/2025 16:09

He has heart failure and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, they have operated and put stents in but they seem to think that if they do open heart surgery it will put too much pressure on his heart and he'll die on the table

OP posts:
Warmbroc · 13/10/2025 16:23

Your focus needs to be your mental health and your children op.

Katpet2006 · 13/10/2025 16:26

Warmbroc · 13/10/2025 16:23

Your focus needs to be your mental health and your children op.

My child is 19 and lives with his girlfriend, I work with children in a nursery which is why I need my mental health to be good, im struggling to think of work right now but I know i need to get back

OP posts:
Katpet2006 · 13/10/2025 16:27

Kosenrufugirl · 13/10/2025 16:06

Hi there, sorry to hear about your dad's situation. Have you tried getting some counselling? NHS waiting lists are very long. Can you go private?

What condition does your dad suffer from? There are many charities that support specific conditions. Charities usually have a group dedicated to supporting the relatives. Please do try to find out if one exists. Often the knowledge you are not alone is a massive help.

I hope it helps

I have been offered counselling but im scared to take it up tbh, he has copd and heart failure i never thought about charities etc that may have support groups, I'll look into that

OP posts:
Warmbroc · 13/10/2025 16:29

Katpet2006 · 13/10/2025 16:26

My child is 19 and lives with his girlfriend, I work with children in a nursery which is why I need my mental health to be good, im struggling to think of work right now but I know i need to get back

Your 19 year old needs his mum and his mum’s mental health to be strong

Warmbroc · 13/10/2025 16:29

Katpet2006 · 13/10/2025 16:27

I have been offered counselling but im scared to take it up tbh, he has copd and heart failure i never thought about charities etc that may have support groups, I'll look into that

Why scared?

Kosenrufugirl · 14/10/2025 09:46

I do appreciate you might have some reservations about counselling. It could be scary opening up. Saying this, a qualified and sensitive counsellor will sense your reservations and will avoid topics you don't wish to discuss. It might still be good to talk to a professional, even if you end up skirting around the edges. Sometimes bringing clarity on what we don't want to disclose brings clarity to our own minds.

Counselling does not always work. For it to work, you have to have a good rapport. If you do decide to take the plunge, you should feel much better after 1 or 2 sessions. If you don't feel better or end up feeling worse, discontinue. You don't own anything to anyone. You might want to try with a different counsellor. Trust your instincts.

If you really don't like the idea of counselling, I would recommend an excellent book, over 1 million copies sold, the link below. The author mentions some Youtube resources in her book, you might find them useful, if you don't like/don't have time for reading

I hope it helps

www.worldofbooks.com/en-gb/products/why-has-nobody-told-me-this-before-book-julie-smith-9780241529713?sku=GOR011969766

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