There's a man behind me who's talking SO LOUDLY. Should I slap his head?

[MrsThierryHenry]

I'm at a 'careers transition service' - it's part of my redundancy package. I'm sitting in a quiet area where they have computers and phones for you to do your jobsearch. You can use the phones, of course, but mindfully of the fact that others are trying to work.

Everyone is getting on with their work quietly, but this particular man (with an especially slappable head) has made about 20 calls this morning, each time bragging loudly about his achievements and swinging backwards and forwards on his chair. His head is growing with each new brag. I can't help feeling that something HAS to be done.

Should I just go ahead and slap it? Should I?

Yes

Yes and slap him from me too. Say you saw a wasp at him.

No thats assault

Rub it coquettishly and purr oooo you big strong handsome devil

Lean over to him and whisper to him, "we all know the phones aren't really connected; you're impressing no-one."

Then lean back and carry on with what you were doing.

Failing that, fake an orgasm.

You guys are making me laugh so hard the table is shaking! Now I'M the one everyone's staring at disapprovingly!

Oh God! He's on the phone AGAIN!!!

Wink at him then wave your leg

Go on
You know you want to

Wave my leg??!!! >

So did he getteth the slap?

Ohhh...I was SO tempted! But you guys made me laugh so much that instead of slapping him, every time he started up yet another loud phone conversation I would look over at him (he often walks and talks) and burst out laughing. Yes, I know, call me infantile. I'm 33 and a mother to a toddler, but you don't have to be a grown up all the time, right?!

I haven't told you about the other time I burst out laughing inappropriately in public...I shall save that for another day...!