Hi,
No, I didn't, not consciously anyway. I was at a point in my life where I was desperate for some stability - been living in shared houses and bedsits since 16. Put myself through Uni, discovered a fine art degree was a complete waste of time.
Became a temp, then exectutive temp in media and music in London. Parties, guest lists, shoes, etc, etc. At the time I dated who I thought were "exciting" men involved in these industries mainly turned out to be talentless self-obsessed chancers, I suppose som of those had a million or more, but it's not that much these days, expecially in London so didn't really think about it. All this was lots of fun, but a bit empty, which started to bother me. Eventually I lost interest in the parties, became disillusioned with the whole music/media scene, my lifestyle and lost interest in dating. I discovered I was yearning for some stability, a dog, kids and a nice home. I don't have a supportive family, and no "roots" anywhere, my friends mainly lived in London and there was no way I could afford to buy anywhere to live there.
So to cut a longish story short, when my boss at the time (more of your old-school millionaire I suppose) asked me out, I accepted. He was quite a bit older than me,and not particularly attractive but he seemed nice and had an adorable old dog he'd bring in to work. Went on a few dates, nice restaurants etc, but he got a bit full-on, declared his love and it really scared me off. I was kidding myself, I wasn't remotely attracted to him romantically, ever even snogged him! Had a bit of a problem getting rid of him after that and it turned slighty nasty..
Another one was someone I'd known for years and years. He'd always liked me so when I was going through this "wobbly" stage, I hooked up with him more to see if there could possibly be anything there. Couldn't even snog him either. I like him, but probably only because I've known him for so long. He had a pretty obnoxious personality (typical public schoolboy). If I'd met him as an adult I would hate him but I found bits of him sweet. Sadly he became really ill from meningitis a few years ago and died.
Thank goodness I met my partner when I did! He is so lovely, reminded me of who I was and loved me for it. Poor as a mouse when I met him, but because we work as a team and believe in each other, his career has steadily taken off, I can indulge my arty ways and I have a lovely (small) home and have a bun in the oven!
I know what it's like to feel lost and overwhelmed. It's not easy, but us ladies are strong and usually find our way somewhere worthwhile.
Maths is a fantastic subject in a country where most people graduate in art or media, could you go on to do an academic research post-grad degree? Some professors can be quite interesting....
Edinburgh is a great city so there's going to be lots of potential in all departments. Believe me there are LOTS of rich students. You'll see, a lot of them, once they've left uni will suddenly become TV producers or go straight into great jobs courtesy of their family and will be millionaires within 10 years!