I lost my dad suddenly in 2024, he walked into hospital for an operation, but unfortunately my Dad bled uncontrollably and he didn’t make it.
it was heartbreaking, the worst imaginable pain over ever had. My heart physically hurt.
fast forward to today and although I am still grieving I am trying every day to make my dad proud and trying to be the best version of myself. I still cry, I have moments where I can’t get my head around it.
since 2022 I have been on anti depressants. They definitely help me. But this discussion is more about my mum.
she lost her best friend and partner that day. She’s completely broken. She still doesn’t sleep, she suffers with anxiety and she also has lupus and bad knees so she can’t walk as far.
i have a sister who lives nearby 2 hours away, so she hasn’t a clue about what my mums really like and I don’t think my mum tells her the full truth. Me and her also don’t get on…. Just two completely different people.
anyway. I’m finding it hard to help my mum. She constantly says she feels rubbish, she can’t walk far, she doesn’t sleep very well and she struggles with aniexty, since before my dad passed too.
but I don’t know how how else I can help her now, I have suggested speaking to a grief counsellor, she did get a number from the gp but it’s self referral and she hasn’t called the number.
I’ve suggested she try’s some sleeping tablets, nytol firstly but she’s so set against it. Even her dr for her auto immune condition suggested she try’s it.
she’s also set against anti depressants. I’m on them and she’s always suggesting I reduce them, I have in the past before my dad and I notice within a month I struggle more. But mum thinks I should. Even though I know that I need them and I probably will for life. To me if something can stop you feeling depressed it’s not a bad thing as there’s nothing worse than feeling like that. I’m not ashamed and I openly talk about my depression.
but what else can I do for my mum when she’s so set against my suggestions to help her.
im not trying to get her to forget about my dad, But I want her to live her life more. I know it’s still early days but I know my dad would want her to carry on and enjoy life:
please if anyone can suggest something as I am stuck and I just don’t know what else I can do to help her.