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Original poster

Paupers grave???? What does this mean please?

24 replies

chocolateshoes · 26/05/2008 21:00

MIL keeps going on about how if we don't get DS christened he'll be in a paupers grave. What does this mean please!!!!

OP posts:

edam · 26/05/2008 21:01

People who didn't leave enough money for a funeral were buried along with all the other poor buggers in a mass grave. With minimum ceremony.

Twiglett · 26/05/2008 21:02

it's just a simple unmarked grave that was provided for the poor who couldn't afford a funeral .. has nothing to do with religion and everything to do with money

tell her to fark orf

Original poster

chocolateshoes · 26/05/2008 21:02

So it has nothing to do with him not being christened then? Is it an issue these days?

OP posts:

Clayhead · 26/05/2008 21:03

Used to be something of great shame too. My grandma's mother was buried in one and my grandma could barely mention it throughout her life, she was so distressed by it.

TREBUCHET · 26/05/2008 21:03

Not at alls he's talking bollocks.

WendyWeber · 26/05/2008 21:04

Not pauper's grave - there are (or used to be) burials outside the churchyard in unconsecrated ground for the unbaptised.

Twiglett · 26/05/2008 21:04

I assume if he isn't christened he wouldn't be buried in a church graveyard .. not that churches have grave space nowadays

again .. tell her to fark orf

ivykaty44 · 26/05/2008 21:04

Your MIL is confussed - a paupers grave is as the other poster says someone who didn't have enough money to get their loved one buried.

If though you dont have your baby baptised then they can not be buried in consercrated (sp?) ground basicly they will have to be buried in the cemetry (local council run cemetry) and can't be buried in the churchyard or consercrated ground at the cemetry.

Most people though will find in the furture being buried very expensive and be cremated anyhow.

cazboldy · 26/05/2008 21:05

in olden days, babies that weren't christened could not be buried in consecrated groung (i.e a church yard)

babies were usually christened at about a week old as so many of them died

a pauper's grave is as suggested by other posters

I think your mum may have the two things muddled

anyway it's all a load of nonsense nowadays!

hth

Saymyname · 26/05/2008 21:05

How bloody morbid of her!

Another vote here for telling her to fark off.

GerrardWinstanley · 26/05/2008 21:06

by the time your DS ends his days, we'll all be being cremated and fired on a rocket to the moon.

I'd start making noises about HER funeral costs though.........................

Monkeytrousers · 26/05/2008 21:06

No, you get what you pay for tell her. Then she will tell you that your DS will be damned to hellfire for eternity if you dont have him christened.

Yoiu can join me the the biblical bad mothers club.

Oh, I should start a thread!

Original poster

chocolateshoes · 26/05/2008 21:06

Oh I am so grateful for all thses replies! Will see MIL at the weekend & know she is likely to bring it up again. I knew it was rubbish but didn't have the facts! May well rpint this off!!

OP posts:

GerrardWinstanley · 26/05/2008 21:09

oh and if she must try and frighten you into christening your child tell her to get her facts straight. It won't mean he get's buried in a pauper's grave. It will mean he doesn't get the devil knocked out of him . My nan actually used that line on one of my auntie's when her son when to prison .

ivykaty44 · 26/05/2008 21:10

I can see your future post now -

MIL took my baby and had dc baptised behind my back......

Original poster

chocolateshoes · 26/05/2008 21:12

I can see it too!

OP posts:

Kewcumber · 26/05/2008 21:14

oh xcocme and sit with me - my motehr has tried everything to emotionally blackmail me into getting DS christened. The most obvious reason not to (I don't beleive in God, and for the record mother neither do you!) seems not to count for much.

I have dug my heels in and we don't speak about it now but am a bit concerned that she might be stealing holy water with a view to a bit of a sprinkling herself, DIY stylee!!

Monkeytrousers · 26/05/2008 21:21

As long as they don't touch the hair, I'm okay with that!

Monkeytrousers · 26/05/2008 21:22

I mean cut not dampen

fishie · 26/05/2008 21:31

ohh, is that why some cemeteries have areas for stillborn babies ?

have never understood all that stuff about purgatory and the unbaptised, seems a cruel way to run things. best not to go along with it, unchristened is much more sensible.

ivykaty44 · 26/05/2008 21:37

fishie - yes this is why there are seperate areas and I have never understood these different customs either.

It was not until 5 years ago I found out all about half baptised, privatley baptised, recieved into church. Then buried in wollen, paupers grave.

Of course illigitmate children were bastards that were considered evil as they had unmarried parents - how it is a childs fault I dont know but it was.

Times have changed.

Brangelina · 26/05/2008 21:41

No no no, didn't you know that the Pope has recently decreed that Limbo (where the souls of unbaptised babies went) doesn't actually exist after all? Try running that by her

I tell everyone who has tried to get me to baptise DD that I would be doing it for supertstitous reasons only (am a very lapsed Catholic) and as such it wouldn't be in the true spirit of Christianity, not to mention highly hypocritical on my part. that ususally shuts them up.

Original poster

chocolateshoes · 27/05/2008 13:17

Am going to memorise that line Brangelina!

OP posts:

pofaced · 27/05/2008 13:44

Limbo abolished is the '60s by Second Vatican Council. Before that it was the never never land for unbaptised babies, between purgatory and either heaven or hell (not sure which). Unbaptised babies had not had the stain of original sin removed and so could never enter heaven but as they were babies they didn't go to hell but limbo.... hence the phrase "in limbo"...

Tell her to brush up on her catechism/ theology before issuing instructions...

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