Just a bit of advice

[Nuela]

My brother is getting married, I was verbally told before of the marriage. However, the wedding is next month and I am yet to receive the actual invite with the details of where the wedding is taking place. Should I call my brother to remind him of my invite or should I assume that I am not invited anymore?

The wedding is taking place next month.

Why are you asking unknown people on the internet instead of phoning your own brother?

I should have added - phone him and ask whether they are sending formal invitations out. If he says no, he is likely to have assumed your presence at the wedding. If he says yes, you could gently enquire as you haven't had one, and see what he says. Is there some backstory as to why a simple conversation has not happened?

I think it’s ok to call him and ask

Do you not communicate with him ordinarily? It seems strange you wouldn’t be talking about the upcoming wedding when you have seen/spoken to him - perhaps that’s why you don’t have an invite, you are estranged?

I guess the only reason I have not asked is because I believe that being a wedding one is careful to ensure that all the people that are going to be invited do receive an invite. I know that other people in the family have received, others had to call and inform him then they received the invite. I believe that for such an important day, one should not have to call to remind or ask why you are yet to receive the invite. The absence of it tells of your level of importance in the wedding list itself and clearly shows that you are an afterthought.

yes, invites are being sent, and I have been told by the bride's sister that I am expected, however, I still feel that if I have not received an invite why would I then know where to go?

I didn’t mean communication as in ask for the invite I mean normally; do you not speak? If my sibling was getting married I would expect it to form plenty of our conversations yet you don’t appear to have spoken with him at all?

If others have been in the same position and called, you should do the same. It sounds like the happy couple are just hopelessly disorganised.

This all feels strangely formal, OP. He’s your brother - ask him! You say other people have had to ask, so it’s clearly all a bit disorganised. Are they quite chaotic people?

They’re obviously expecting you but if they’ve overlooked your invite and are busy with preparations, then other members of your family (parents? grandparents?) must surely be able to share the details with you?

There’s a sense in your posts of feeling slighted, though, and as though your brother is indirectly telling you you’re not important to him. What’s your relationship with him like usually? Feels as though there may more to this than you’re actually disclosing.

This just sounds such a bizarre situation.

Whenever one of the young people in our family has been getting married, there was all sorts of chatter about it for a year or so before.
When anyone meets up. In the family WhatsApp. etc.

How is it you are relying on one invitation ?

We can all make guesses - lost in the post seems an obvious one, or them assuming you are coming and not bothered with a formal invitation for someone so close? But none of us know what is happening.

There is clearly some major back story here which you know and haven't shared, so none of us can help you if you don't want to share that detail.

thank you all for this, it does help put things into perspective. The reality it that something may have been happening with the relationship and things are not as good as they use to be. This is not the platform to provide more details than the ones I have. Nevertheless, the bottom line is that if someone is getting married, even assuming that you are coming, as the person throwing that party you have to at least ensure that people do get their invite, particularly when you are doing that with family.

You are unhappy because you did not get a formal invitation. And I understand that. It’s not a nice feeling. But I think if you assume that you are not invited anymore and you don’t go to the wedding then it will make your relationship with him even more complicated. If you find it hard to call him then maybe ask your parents. If it were me I would assume that I was invited because they verbally told you that you were.