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Original poster

Chilly neighbours

23 replies

tigermoth · 06/01/2003 08:39

I am not the lace curtain twitching type, but I am really puzzled, and a bit worried, about some near neighbours of mine.

A twenty something couple (I think) with a baby, and cats, they live on the upper floor of a house opposite us. They seem Ok, have friends round from time to time, are sometimes loud in the shouting and music department, but no louder than us. Nothing to set them apart. Except this:

Their front windows (living room and hallway) are always open at least a foot in all weathers. Take yesterday night - freezing cold. I saw the TV flickering away in the living room with the window wide open as usual. This morning, still open, and I saw someont watching the TV so there is definitely someone at home.

Now, they have cats, so I can see this might be a reason for the open window policy, but they also have a baby and I just can't imagine how they keep the place warm. Even the hottest central heating would have been no match for the freezing wind of yesterday night.

I am wondering if I should be concerned? I don't know them well enough to casually ask them if they ever feel the cold. I am reluctantly thinking of phoning social services, but is this OTT? apart from the window thing, they seem perfectly fine and the baby (don't see it much) seems OK - no prolongued screaming and crying (not that this necessarily means anything untoward either, otherwise my sons would have been reported ages ago).

Can anyone think of any plausible reason for this open window thing and do you think I am being stupid in worrying about it?

OP posts:

breeze · 06/01/2003 09:08

tough one, maybe one has that disorder SAD where they arn't getting enought natural light, i think if the baby is fine and no other problems, i mean if they were shouting or whacking the baby with that window open you would probably hear it, i know its hard especially with all those cases recently where social services did nothing and those poor children died, but any other neighbours you are friendly enough with to discuss it, i would gladly swap our neighbours for yours though.

soothepoo · 06/01/2003 09:27

Very odd - do they smoke a lot perhaps, and think that by having the windows open it will not affect their baby so much? Some people just do not feel the cold - our warehouse guy is sitting in the stores wearing a t-shirt with the doors wide open AND THERE IS SNOW ON THE GROUND!!

soothepoo · 06/01/2003 09:47

Meant to add that if the baby was cold or uncomfortable, I think with the windows being open you would probably hear him or her crying quite a lot.

EmmaTMG · 06/01/2003 10:16

Maybe as you live opposite each other you might share the same Health Visitor and you could mention it to her who in turn could bring up the subject with your neighbours and so keeping you out of it.
I agree that if the baby was cold or uncomfortable you and probably your whole street would know about it so I doubt you've got much to worry about.
We visited MIL a while ago and it wasn't a especially cold day but inside her house (it's very old & in the country) I could see my breath! She was just in a blouse and said she wasn't aware it was that cold!!

star · 06/01/2003 12:53

I often don't have the heating on in our house but opening the window day and night that's quite a different thing.Perhaps their boilers dodgy and thy're worried about carbon monoxide.Or a gas leak?Another thought-how long has it been going on for?Maybe their baby has a temperature.I often used to take mine out for a walk with not much on when they had a temperature to cool them down.People must have thought me cruel somtetimes.

Original poster

tigermoth · 06/01/2003 19:10

Thanks. Yes, I suppose that if the baby was upset I would hear lots of crying through the open window. And fresh air is more healthy than smokey air or risking carbon monoxide poisoning. It's just that last night and today were SO COLD. I cannot imagine anyone choosing or being happy to live at that temperature inside for long, anyway, and certainly not a young baby. They have the windows open most of the time.

I will try and chat to a neighbour about this sometime, and when I next see our health visitor (my son's 3 and a half year check up is due soon) I'll mention it, even if their health visitor is a different one - good idea EmmaTMG.

This still puzzles me, but then I love a warm radiator.

OP posts:

breeze · 06/01/2003 19:18

my ds and i do not feel the cold and we only have the heating on in winter because dh moans as he feels the cold and i have to wonder round in strappy tops and shorts. Some people just do not feel the cold.

Jimjams · 06/01/2003 20:10

Maybe the baby is mucusy- you get told to open windows/doors then to stop the air getting too dry. I hate feeling stuffy. I'm one for turning the central heating on but then opening a window. If the baby wasn't actualy in the room with the window open at night it might not have been too cold (having said that I agree it was freezing last night).

bundle · 06/01/2003 20:13

in our house we have windows to open instead of doors. works for us.

bundle · 06/01/2003 20:15

sorry..totally missed the point of this and made myself look like a sarky cow.

Caroline5 · 06/01/2003 22:15

Have to say it sounds a bit odd. Maybe they've got their heating on full blast, but even so, I'd have thought it would be cool in this weather? (I speak as someone who feels the cold, unfortunately.) Babies are supposed to complain much more about being too cold than being too hot, so would definitely think you'd have heard crying. Perhaps they're worried about the baby overheating??

A friend of mine told me her dh likes to sleep with the bedroom window wide open in all weathers, and this actually deters their children from coming into bed with them ever, as it's too cold! Anyway, I'm quite direct, so if I met your neighbours in the street, I'd probably just ask them about it!! (tactfully of course) Not suggesting you do this, though!

Clarinet60 · 06/01/2003 22:22

I think you could probably get away with going over there and asking if everything is OK. Say you are worried about them and why. Failing that, could you go and borrow some milk and just say, 'blimey, how do you stand this cold with that window open?'

It is very strange and you'd hate yourself more if anything happened and you'd done nothing than just feeling embarrassed for a couple of seconds while you ask.

SofiaAmes · 06/01/2003 23:55

Tigermoth, I don't think you should worry. Different people feel/don't feel the cold to greatly varying degrees. My mother is the type of person who has the windows open in the middle of winter (with the heat turned down to 58). I, on the other hand, need a duvet in the middle of summer in New York City when it's 95 degrees.

Temptress · 06/01/2003 23:59

I have a neighbour who has windows open in all weather as he cant stand stale air in a room. Even on the coldest nights he has one wide open and there is nothing strange about him. I am sure that they make sure the baby is wrapped up warm, and if it were too cold surely a midwife or health visitor would have told them.

Crunchie · 07/01/2003 09:33

The thing to bear in mind is that Central heating is a reletively new thing, people used to live without it. Please don't worry tigermoth, I know you mean well but any interference is just that. If the baby was distressed you would know about it, through the open window

janh · 07/01/2003 09:35

I read tigermoth's original message but didn't comment because I couldn't think of anything useful to say that hadn't already been said (some people just like "bracing" air etc!) but...

We have french windows in our back room - they are the back door in fact - and apparently they weren't latched properly when the last person went out yesterday morning, so when I subsequently opened the front door the airflow opened them, but I didn't notice because I went upstairs. They were only open a couple of inches, for a couple of hours (if that) but the temperature in the room (the heating thermostat is there) plummeted to 14 degrees by the time I next went in, and that was with the heating on...there was an icy blast coming through the hall door.....brrrr!

Of course being french windows they go down to the floor so it was quite a big opening altogether - maybe equivalent to an ordinary window open a foot. It does seem as if it would be very cold for a baby, but then our mummies (those of use who are - ahem - older mums anyway!) would have parked us outside in our prams for naps in almost all weathers and it didn't do us any harm (tell that to the kids today...)

Bozza · 07/01/2003 10:06

Not sure but was laid on the settee reading last night - and kept telling DH that it was cold - he couldn't feel it due to playstationitis, checked thermostat (on hall) which was at 21 deg (higher than usual)kept on feeling cold. Eventually found that DH had put the door mat out to mop the floor and the back door was not closed (not open either) and although utility room, kitchen and living room doors were closed it was cold. Last night was VERY cold for us - also up with DS teething and it was freezing as we do not ave the heating on during the night. I am not a cold person (always suffocate when staying with MIL). Are the windows still open Tigermoth?

Original poster

tigermoth · 07/01/2003 20:56

Yes the windows are still open - tbe bay window (big pane) is open two feet approx and it looks as if someone is in the room. I don't spend all my time checking up on this, but I have not seen the windows closed in the last two days, though sometimes the gap is just a few inches.

Still, there are so many of you who say you love fresh air, even if cold, that I must assume these all is well. I will say something if an opportunity arises, though.

OP posts:

jessi · 07/01/2003 22:21

Maybe they smoke? Most obvious reason to me. I know a couple of people who have windows open in freezing weather to get their fix!

Tortington · 08/01/2003 03:11

i have asthma and find an open window helpful sometimes - thats another reason maybe? maybe if you see them ( and they see you) out and about but you dont want to speak to them directly , you could use this as an excuse to see them later
"oh glad your in, as i saw you out earlier i thought you had left the window open and was worried about intruders" or some similar excuse?

Tortington · 08/01/2003 03:12

i just had a thought - maybe the damned thing is broken and its as simple as that! lol

happydays · 08/01/2003 08:49

ever thought they might be a prrping tom and have it open so they can get a better view in the women oppisite. lol, sorry i know it is bothering you, and i hope its resolved soon.

i think i would find a reason to go over there, or wait until they came out and accidently on purpose bump into them.

have you had any contact in the past, good or bad

slug · 08/01/2003 11:29

OK, so now I feel a freak. I always have a window open no matter what the weather. I just cannot stand sealed houses and must have fresh air no matter what.

The doors to other parts of the house are closed, so the sluglet's room is nice and toasty. Your neighbours are probbly just fresh air freaks like me.

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