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Social work pricess advice needed

10 replies

Mrsgg1984 · 03/06/2025 16:08

Some social worker advice needed please.
So background story is ive lived at my property for 10 years now used to have good relationship with neighbour next door who is a single mam to a 16 year old girl and 21 year old son but now she won't talk or acknowledge me of anyone in the street. She has serious mental health issues which she is in denial about but I have noticed a rapid decline especially this past year. There's alot of kids in this street and since day dot they have always seemed to congregate at my home they are all friends with my children and say this is there safe space I always support them all when I can. The 16 year ild from next door will often come round telling me everything that's happened at home how bad things are. She states never any food at home and half time no electricity or hot water, she has had to use washing up liquid to wash herself in , her mum sprays need bleach in thr air like airfreshner to apprently get rid of the demons and bad energy. She came to me yesterday after a blazing row with her mum which I heard. It was all over the fact mum hadn't fed the girl in a few days and that girl was close to passing out through hunger. Mum won't attend jobcentre appointments so her money is always sanctioned and when she does get money it's gone in days on vapes and coffee ( she has a major vape addiction ) and then no money left for 3 weeks at a time. Girl will ask mum to go to food banks mum refuses says have a biscuit if you are hungry. I know this is true as I have heard it all the arguments are always very loud and explosive. Anyway I calmed girl down and made her some food then called her aunty. Her aunty has made numerous reports to social services and tried to get crisis team involvement problem is mum will come across quite calm when ever she is asked about her mental health by professionals and they always state she doesn't need support. Aunty called school for advice, school said nothing they could do and to phone police and social workers. I called social worker too and they stated as girl was at mine police would be sent round to check on her. Police arrived had a chat with daughter she told them everything about situation and the blow up that had happened including how mum got physical. Police then went next door to see mum and son interviewed them both. Son collaborated the girls story. Mum denied everything said it was a minor tiff and girl was exaggerating. Police told girl she was to stay at her auntys for the night then said nurses were coming out to assess mum as clearly mental health issue going on. Nurses came were in for less than 10 minutes. Mum had told them she didn't need any help and they left. Social worker called to speak to girl and said they would liaise with police then contact girl today with an update on what happens next. No phone call so I called them and thry said they would make a further note. Family went to see mum today while girl came to mine. Didn't go down well , big blow out again as mum stating nothing wrong with her and she doesn't need any help.
So what do we do now? I have never dealt with social workers before so don't know process. At what point does it go from making notes on their system to them actually taking some form of action. Girl has gone to stay at auntts again but what now. She will eventually go home and the whole process begins again. I will always hell her where I can but this can't go on for ever. She will end up seriously unwell due to lack of food soon she has already lost a significant amount of weight. Am I actually making things worse by providing her with a safe space and heating is that why social aren't helping? I am so worried every day that something will tup mum over the edge and something happens to all 3 of them. Girl has alreasy shown me some disturbing diary entries from her mum one stating if her and kids die it will be through murder. Please can someone advise on what to do now no one is helping or listening. Thsnkyou in advance

OP posts:
gamerchick · 03/06/2025 19:08

I don't think there's much more you can do really other than be a squeaky wheel and maybe ring the police when it's kicking off next door.

Uricon2 · 03/06/2025 19:24

Please keep reporting to social services and if you think needed, the police.

The NSPCC will pass all child protection referrals to the council social services department but might be an idea it you want to try another route.

Youagain2025 · 03/06/2025 19:28

My family has had social services involved . One of the things social wires always do is check cupboards for food. They also check whete the child sleeps. Thru also contact schools.

I don't know about all the other stuff as there's alot going on and it sounds complicated.

But are you sure about the food situation? I'm not saying the girl is doing the same. But my DS was saying theres no food in the house Theres nothing to eat . I'm not talking teenage strops. He went to an extreme of telling people there was nothing in the house. I wasn't feeding him. Demanding the aways. Nothing he was saying was true abd the sw knew that. When in fact the cupboards and freezer/fridge were full. He just didn't want anything that was in the house.

Have you tried NSPCC ? Another thought could you put your concerns in writing. Say what you saud here.as it's in writing they may take ir more seriously

Mrsgg1984 · 03/06/2025 23:27

Thankyou very much for the replies. You again I definitely know that there's no food in the house as during on of the heated rows I have heard mum shouting that it's not just the daughter with out food and to think of how she feels too but when ever girl tells her to go to jobcentre appointments or a food bank mum ends up telling her to f off and screaming at her. Also brother has collaborated it although I think with him he is so matter of fact about the situation now as he has lived with it for so long he told police everything girl had said but with no emotion just like he is just used to it now. Also girl told me brother had order a pizza in one day ( he works and helps girl as much as he can but he refuses to give mum money for anything as she spends it on vapes rather than food or electric and gas ) he give girl two slices of his pizza and she give a piece to her mum as she knew she had also not ate for a while. It's so sad and I feel for them all but I'm also angry. Angry that while I'm making sure her daughter doesn't get really unwell through lack of food ( the weight loss is very clear to see ) she is strolling up the path with countless vapes in her hand. That money could go on food for them all .

OP posts:
Mrsgg1984 · 03/06/2025 23:34

Also you again just to note, social services haven't been out once to assess that's what I find so crazy. Is that normal for that to happen? Surely after all these reports of neglect thry should come out and see for themselves should thry not? That's why I'm worried thinking that whilst I'm trying to help girl with food etc is that actually what's stopping them taking action as thry know I'm feeding her even if her mum isn't and that she can go to her auntys? As I say I'm not clued up with any of this x

OP posts:
Youagain2025 · 04/06/2025 06:44

Mrsgg1984 · 03/06/2025 23:34

Also you again just to note, social services haven't been out once to assess that's what I find so crazy. Is that normal for that to happen? Surely after all these reports of neglect thry should come out and see for themselves should thry not? That's why I'm worried thinking that whilst I'm trying to help girl with food etc is that actually what's stopping them taking action as thry know I'm feeding her even if her mum isn't and that she can go to her auntys? As I say I'm not clued up with any of this x

Yes they should definitely be coming out for a home visit definitely try and have something in writing could do it with verbal and writing. Have you asked talk to the manager. Tell them you feel they are not tsking it seriously. Ahd they need to do a home visit.

Social services can be a bit hit and miss . It could be that if your feeding them plus she will go to her auntys thru her it that she's being fed. But did you actually tell social services she's going days without eating? But then they nay say she eats at school. I would just really push it either them.

Youagain2025 · 04/06/2025 06:53

Mrsgg1984 · 03/06/2025 23:27

Thankyou very much for the replies. You again I definitely know that there's no food in the house as during on of the heated rows I have heard mum shouting that it's not just the daughter with out food and to think of how she feels too but when ever girl tells her to go to jobcentre appointments or a food bank mum ends up telling her to f off and screaming at her. Also brother has collaborated it although I think with him he is so matter of fact about the situation now as he has lived with it for so long he told police everything girl had said but with no emotion just like he is just used to it now. Also girl told me brother had order a pizza in one day ( he works and helps girl as much as he can but he refuses to give mum money for anything as she spends it on vapes rather than food or electric and gas ) he give girl two slices of his pizza and she give a piece to her mum as she knew she had also not ate for a while. It's so sad and I feel for them all but I'm also angry. Angry that while I'm making sure her daughter doesn't get really unwell through lack of food ( the weight loss is very clear to see ) she is strolling up the path with countless vapes in her hand. That money could go on food for them all .

I just re-read this post. I dont know what the boy is earning. But as much as he doesn't want to give his mum money he should be contubing more that 2 slices of pizza . I mean did he have the girl 2 slices of pizza the mum nothing hence the girl gave mum one of her slices then the boy are the rest to himself? He could going to places like aldi /Lidl and getting some food in.

I'm not saying it's all down to him or that he should do mums job but as he's working he could contribute some food.

FortyElephants · 04/06/2025 06:57

A social worker should visit within a few days but this probably isn't considered an urgent priority as she's gone to her aunt's house. Also, in terms of long term involvement, don't expect too much - if the girl is 16 and has a safe aunt she can stay with that may well just be the advice she's given.

BananaSpanner · 04/06/2025 07:19

FortyElephants · 04/06/2025 06:57

A social worker should visit within a few days but this probably isn't considered an urgent priority as she's gone to her aunt's house. Also, in terms of long term involvement, don't expect too much - if the girl is 16 and has a safe aunt she can stay with that may well just be the advice she's given.

This is what I think is the likely outcome too. Girl just needs to stay put at Aunts.

Mrsgg1984 · 04/06/2025 08:32

Thankyou all for your input it's been really helpful

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