Nearly caused a car accident

[Grayjj]

Yesterday I was driving on a fast country road. There was one car behind me and one in front. Ahead of us was a group of 3 cyclists. The car in front of me indicated and moved out to overtake. I could see a car in the distance coming towards us but believed there was time for us both to pass the cyclists. But I had misjudged. For a couple of horrible seconds I was on the same side as the approaching car, which was blaring it's horn at me throughout (understandably). I managed to move over in time but closer to the cyclists than I would have liked. Thank God no one was hurt. It was just awful.

I've since replayed the moment over and over in my head a thousand times. I have been driving for 30 years and never done anything like this. I feel guilty and ashamed that I put others at risk. I am also terrified I will be reported and prosecuted for dangerous driving. I can't sleep or eat and feel constantly sick. I don't know what I hope to achieve by posting here but I'm too ashamed to tell anyone I know, yet I need to tell someone.

We all do stupid things while driving. Hopefully they don't hurt anyone and we learn from them. The very fact that you're so shaken up by this will teach you never to take this risk again.

But cyclists in a group hinder traffic. I know we all have a right to use the roads. But no car is going to trail along behind them for miles upon miles.

It happens just be greatful you got lucky this time and learn from it

It only takes a second doesn't it? I like to think I'm a safe driver but I know that over the years I've made some errors of judgement and ssw what might have been flash before my eyes.

Live and learn from it. You are not likely to make the same error again and so in the long run, this incident may make you a safer driver.

(It sounds as though you panicked a bit too. Could have braked and pulled back in behind the bikes, once you realized it was going to be tight?

Try to forgive yourself - we all make mistakes - and think it through calmly now, so that next time, you know that you are likely to make a calmer decision. Being calm/unflustered is 90% of the key to good driving.)

It sounds like you went for the worst of your three options.

1. Wait until the car in front has completed their overtake then look for your own overtaking gap
2. To have slowed down and aborted the planned overtake
3. To have carried on and cut in front of the cyclists

Speaking as both a driver and cyclist you probably have no idea how terrified those cyclists will have been. Well done for reflecting on this but please do not rush into making overtakes in future.

If the cyclists or other drivers had cams they may report it. But cross that bridge if you get to it.

We’ve all made mistakes while driving so don’t beat yourself up too much about it. You scared yourself so will learn from this.

Yes it was stupid, and you could have killed a good few people there.
But I don't think you'll be doing it anytime soon.

Everyone does something stupid once OP. It's whether you do it again that matters if you got away with it the first time.

A lot of decisions we make as drivers are judgement calls, on this occasion you made a bad judgement, no body was hurt and you might not make the same choice again. But you live and learn so don’t continue to beat yourself up about it.

The OP has already shown remorse. Cyclists may also like to consider how pedestrians must feel when they pass them at high speeds in shared spaces.

The positive out of this is you didn’t actually hurt anybody and you’ve internally accepted blame and it’s shaken you up.
Lots of people make mistakes and find any way possible to blame somebody else.
Assess the risk more carefully next time, traffic is a better place to be than in a cell or on trial x

You made a mistake and you’ve punished yourself plenty for it. You’re not getting prosecuted for dangerous driving. Take this as a lesson from the universe, protecting you and others people by making you even more careful in future.

You are clearly a good person with a very clear sense of right and wrong and strong moral compass - otherwise you wouldn’t have been so deeply affected. You’re safe, everyone involved is safe. You can move on and take the lesson without torturing yourself. Xxx

Obviously you make a mistake, but from what you describe the oncoming driver wasn't covered in glory either. If they could see you from a distance too, and had time to be blaring their horn, surly they could have slowed down (whilst calling you their preferred choice of names no doubt!) having seen you were chancing it, to give you more space to get back to your side avoiding the cyclists?

But main thing is no one was hurt.

It's one of those horrible mistakes that every driver at some point will make. Try not to beat yourself up anymore, it's good that you feel bad as it shows that you care but you do need to forgive yourself and move on.

I remember a similar incident when I first passed my test. It was one of the first time I drove in the city. A long stretch of road, a cyclist in front of me and loads of cars behind all getting impatient. I could see a car ahead and felt I had enough time to get around the cyclist. Unfortunately the car on the other side of the road did similar to yours and proceeded to slam their horn on and I swear to God they sped up. No-one was injured but it really shook me up too.

I always slow down a bit if I see a car overtake up ahead, some people are pricks though and instead of helping the situation by slowing a bit, they decide to use their horns instead.

It's awfully easy to be wise after the event, luckily no-one was hurt, just scared very badly. I think you have learned from this and won't make the same mistake again so constantly beating yourself up about it will do no good. Hopefully, getting this off your chest here will have helped.

People make driving mistakes sometimes. The vast majority of the time it works out ok because you and the other road users around can take mitigating action. You have been reminded never to chance an overtake. It's definitely best to let the vehicle ahead of you complete their manoeuvre rather than following in their wake but I think you know that now.

It's good that you're reflecting on what happened and it will make you a better driver but just learn from it and move on.

I had a similar moment a few years ago when I nearly took out a motorcyclist who came round the corner at speed as I was pulling out at a junction. He was in the wrong in that he was speeding but I think I was too slow to move after checking the coast was clear but bloody hell it gave us both a horrendous fright and I think we both learned something that day.

We have all made mistakes when driving. I have done and am the type to worry about my past decisions. Don’t let it eat you up. My DH (rational thinker) would say to me, nobody was hurt, move on. Hopefully you can OP

This is an absolutely horrendous reply. Victim blaming, much!!!

Literally every driver has made a mistake like this. You wouldn't be human if you didn't make an error of judgement occasionally. Thankfully
you get away with the vast majority of cases as there's other brains involved and they can slow down for you, swerve or whatever.

For me I get very self conscious about people behind me and in the past have made silly mistakes like this due to pressure of others around me. Thankfully I've learned from enough mistakes that if I know it isn't safe to pass yet, I don't, it doesn't matter what the person behind me thinks.

Cyclists are fucking annoying. But it is still incumbent on those of us driving a potential lethal weapon to not put them at risk. Though it certainly sounds like the OP is sufficiently shaken up to not do this again.

I think the point is, groups of cyclists are dangerous and cause impatience and pressure on drivers to pass especially if there are others behind.
Of course I'm not saying cyclists shouldn't use the road, but they are a very tricky hazard to deal with, especially if they're in a big group and travelling at speed.

Feel for you @Grayjj.

I had a horrible experience last year, not involving cyclists but misread a sign on an unfamiliar road in the dark and was on the wrong side of the road with a car then coming along blaring it's horn (understandably).

I felt absolutely awful about it, like you replayed it and replayed it, wondered how I could have been so stupid and generally tortured myself with the what ifs in terms of hurting people and consequences in terms of dashcams.

Upshot was that noone was hurt, it was a near miss and I am human and we all make mistakes. Luckily this mistake didn't cause an accident.

The awful feelings you have now will pass and such experiences definitely stay with us to inform future driving decisions. It's really horrible, but you made a mistake and that happens to all of us, try not to beat yourself up anymore and learn from it for next time.

Whenever it replays in your head, acknowledge the lesson and accept that everyone makes silly mistakes sometimes - so don't beat yourself up over it - you definitely won't make this mistake again.

I was driving behind a car a few months ago that overtook the car in front just as a lorry was approaching on the other side - it was a meandering undulating country lane and the guy overtook just as he and this lorry were heading downhill into a dip in the road. It was utterly terrifying- me and the lorry must’ve been braking while this idiot was flooring it to only just get past the car in front in time to get out of the lorry’s way. My heart was absolutely racing - it was an MPV type family car and typically we stayed in the same stream of traffic for ages until we reached some lights and I could see he was on his own, no kids in the car.
He might’ve done the same random dodgy move as you or he might always drive like that.
Lesson learned for you though and good reminder for everyone so thanks for sharing your shake up - there’s so much risk on the roads and overtaking is a real danger zone!

I agree, cyclists are an absolute pain in the arse, and we get them around here a lot. But they have a right to be on the road whether we like it or not, and they are considerably more vulnerable than people travelling in a vehicle. You just have to suck it up and wait until it is safe to pass.

They are not dangerous. They might be annoying, but not dangerous. Cars trying to overtake at inappropriate moments are dangerous