Lost wedding ring

[OliveiteOtter]

As per the title my wedding ring is lost and I’m absolutely devastated. Sorry if this is long and rambling, my head is currently in a complete mess over this.

I usually take my wedding ring and engagement ring off to wash my face in the evening as they are plated and I don’t want the salicylic acid in the face wash to damage the plating. Occasionally I have forgotten to put them back on when I’m tired and so I put them back on in the morning when I go back to the bathroom.

Last night my husband put them in his jacket pocket whilst brushing his teeth to bring them back in to me but forgot to give them to me then. This morning only the engagement ring was in his pocket. We have torn the bedroom and bathroom apart for hours trying to find my wedding ring, it’s no where to be found. Only thought is it must have fallen out his pocket when brushing his teeth and ended up in the toilet as we have a tiny bathroom and the sink is right next to the toilet. Due to having a terrible bladder I have been to the toilet a couple times in the night, and he also did this morning, so the toilet has been well and truely flushed. If it ended up in there it’s long gone.

I’m not angry at him at all, accidents happen and can’t be helped, after all we have all made spectacular mess ups on occasion. I am however really distraught over the loss of my ring. I know it’s not the marriage itself however this was something I treasured as it’s a symbol of our marriage from that exact moment. I feel stupid for this but I don’t know how to accept it’s gone. A replacement just won’t be the same as it’s not that ring from that moment, it will just be a replica that isn’t my actual wedding ring.

Anyone who has been through loosing their ring, or anyone who can just give me advise on how to reframe looking at this I’d more than welcome it as I feel so incredibly low and I know my husband feels awful for having been the one to technically loose it, though ultimately it’s my fault as I should not have been stupid enough to not put it straight back on after bedtime routine even if I was tired and dopey. I don’t want to make him feel even worse over this as accidents happen so any help on how I can move past loosing my wedding ring, without judgement as we both feel bad enough at the current moment, would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you all.

Have you checked the lining of the jacket? I've lost things before and they've gone into tiny gaps and and been found in the lining.

Otherwise re reframing.. the ring tou has symbolised your love at the time. You can choose a new ring to symbolise your love now with all the extra years and experiences that go with it. It can symbolise the marriage you've had not the marriage you hope for which is what a wedding ring does..

Well, the new ring will show that your husband values your marriage as much as you do because he didn’t want you to be parted from your ring, and then he helped you to search for it.
I agree it might be somewhere you haven’t looked yet.

I second check lining of jacket. If it's still missing in a week he takes you to choose a new one.

We went through similar. We
only got married 18 months ago . We were taken straight to a private room straight after the marriage and married again religiously by a vicar friend who blessed our rings. It was the most beautiful and private part of our wedding and we were gutted when dh lost his ring in the snow. It was so special for all the reasons I’m sure you have too .
We did like you and scoured the garden and even borrowed a metal detector.
Eventually we went to buy him a new (and dare I say it nicer) wedding ring and went out for a nice meal that night and had some champagne to celebrate . We planned to get this ring blessed but I was gardening in the spring and found it by accident !!!
I didn’t tell him straight away and had a special night away planned for our anniversary and out for the the meal that night I placed it on his napkin. He was made up.
Your ring may turn up but in the meantime could you off together and choose one to wear for now? Do something special for you to make the ring feel like it needs to and you never know the ring may just turn up when you least expect it x x
Like the others said I’d def feel inside the lining I lost my car keys in a hole in my coat and they were around the back inside the lining .

Thank you so much everyone for your replies and advice. We’ve now done a double, and triple check, and unfortunately not in any lining. We shall keep an eye out and hopefully it will turn up and not have made a trip to the sewers!

I love the ways to reframe looking at a new ring, so if this one doesn’t turn up we shall get a new one and I’ll look on that with a different, but equally meaningful, perspective.

My neighbour even helped as she heard me crying (paper thin walls here!), she gave me an old ring stand of hers that she doesn’t use anymore to put the rings on in the bathroom when washing face and showering. Husband has promised not to touch them on that stand, we’ve had a laugh about it and no hard feelings towards him at all, accidents happen and at least this isn’t anything like a broken leg or some such accident!

Would a ring actually flush down the toilet? I have no experience but imagine it would be too heavy and just sit on the bottom of the pan.

Unfortunately I went with a very thin band with no setting for my wedding band as I prefer wearing plain minimal jewellery. Mine is very light weight which is why we wonder if it could have gone down the u bend.

I’m going to keep hunting here and there in hope though. If it turns up eventually then that’s fantastic but if it doesn’t I’ll get a new one, and this one will have a hilarious story to go with it I guess!

Op myself and dh are having huge relationship issues and I lost mine this year, my fingers had swollen so I took it off and put it in the drawer next to my bed but absolutely no sign (lost possibly when ds was searching through for something for me and he took everything out) Dh has brought it up a few times, he seems quite upset over it but I’ve told him it doesn’t matter, he chose the engagement ring, that’s the important thing. Op I do hope it randomly turns up though x