DS1 would have been 16 today. Coping OK till mum sent me flowers.

[mumblechum]

Am now feeling fairly crap. Our ds died 8.5 years ago, he was severely disabled (CP) and most of the time, especially over the last few years, feel OK about it all (time heals and all that). Obviously dh and I remember him all the time and especially on the 17 May and the day he died, but we don't make a huge fuss.

Today I got a bouquet of flowers from my parents and found it really upsetting, I just want to bin them though I know obviously my mum thinks she's being helpful.

Maybe I'm repressed (I suspect my mum thinks so as I'm not sobbing all over her alll the time), but the way I and dh cope is by trying to remember how happy and loved our little boy was, and be really positive.

Don't really expect any replies, just need to get it off my chest.

Message withdrawn

Thanks Cod, you're right.

I used to send my mum flowers on the anniversary of my dad's death, and to my grandma on grandad's birthday. They both appreciated the thought, so perhaps it's an older persons thing?

Perhaps you need to focus on the fact that they have remembered the date and are thinking of you?

I'm sure she was trying to be nice to you. However, if the flowers are upsetting you, bin them, there's no reason you should keep something that it is hurting you just to be polite. Then out and remember your son in the way that makes you feel better.