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Tried to help neighbour, have I done the wrong thing here?

7 replies

helpfulornot · 16/05/2008 12:46

Hi,

I have changed my name, but I am wondering if I may have "hurt" my neighbour.

He is an old man, and twice in about two weeks he knocked on our door asking for food. I would not say we are "friends", I did not know him before. DH "knows" him - when we pass in the street they would both say hello to each other.

He has been sick, and a couple of weeks ago he knocked on our door, looking like death warmed up, and he asked me to ring his brother to tell him that his brother was sick.

I did that, and also asked him if he would like some food (like a casserole or something). He said he would like some bread, biscuits, and a cold pastie.

He said that his brother would pay me when he came round to see him.

I did not care about the money (would have refused it), but the brother did not come round to offer it which made me think that maybe he never made it to see his brother.

Today we got a letter from the local housing association. We are not council tenants, and I was a bit annoyed by the letter, so I rang them to have a go about sending it to an owner, but we got talking about them providing social support. We don't need it for ourselves, but I immediately thought of my neighbour, and told them about him. They told me that they would ring up someone locally so that he could have someone looking out for him.

I now feel like I did the wrong thing. It is not really my business, but I feel like someone should be aware he needed some help, but I don't like the thought that I've somehow dobbed him in.

Have I don't the wrong thing?

OP posts:
mumblechum · 16/05/2008 12:49

No of course not. Sounds like he needs someone to pop in from time to time and maybe give him meals on wheels.

You did the right thing

peanutbear · 16/05/2008 12:49

No you have done the right thing he needs help and if he cant get shopping in himself he needs someone to do that for him

What you have done is been a very caring neighbour

bonkerz · 16/05/2008 12:51

I think you have been very responsible. If your neighbour is unable to care for himself he needs help and its unrealistic that it should be down to you to give this help. Maybe you could call round to your neighbour or get your dh to do it and explain that you are concerned about him and have asked for someone to come and see if they can help him more. He may be angry but atleast YOU know oyu have tried to help OR he may thank you for caring enough.

Tortington · 16/05/2008 12:51

no you did the right thing, with help and support you could be helping this man to live a fuller life

he will propably needs some adaptations to his property - and i'll bet my eldest child that he isn't caliming all the benefits that he is entitled to

clearly

the housing association will be able to liaise with social services and support for older people to help him out

he could get involved witht he housing association by becomming an active tenant himself

of he may be placed somewhere - like a warden controlled place - where there is someone to look out for him

and then the house will be let to a family in genuine need.

there is no bad side to your actions

you are a lovely person

clearly

BeauLocks · 16/05/2008 12:53

Definitely done the right thing. Absolutely. Without a doubt. 100%.

belcantavinissima · 16/05/2008 12:56

you have totally done the right thing. you must be a very kind and caring person

PrimulaVeris · 16/05/2008 12:57

You did the best possible thing.

He obviously is in desperate need of help, he will now get it.

You did a fantastic thing

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