Can anyone give me some input on how much is fair to expect for maintenance for DD?

[PeckaRolloverAgain]

My DD is nearly 9 - I split up with her Father when she was 18 months. He kept the family home.

I have always done all of the fetching carrying and he pays £35 a week.

He is on roughly 25k a year.

He has no other children.

When she visits (weekly) she stays at his Mothers.

More and more Im feeling ripped off - especially with rising fuel, I probably spend a fair chunk of the weekly payment driving her back and forth twice each weekend.

Any ballpark figures of what is reasonable?

I think the CSA deduct 15% of salary for one child. That means a parent with an income of 25k should be paying something in the region of £54 a week, because it is based on net income, not gross.

So why they are only allowing £35 for you puzzles me.

If his gross is £25k his net will be about £1550 per month, less if he's making pension contributions. Assuming that he isn't, though, he should pay 15%, ie £232.50 per month.

If he has her for more than 52 nights per year there should be a pro rata deduction.

If you can't get him to agree informally (based on the evidence of his P60), then you should contact the CSA.

This hasnt been arranged throught he CSA - he has always benefitted from me being a bit soft.

Well tell him what we've told you and if he doesn't agree to pay it voluntarily, go through the CSA.

And why are you doing all the driving and paying for fuel?

He is a crap Dad, but does love her and she loves him. I have always facilitated their relationship knowing that he isnt reliable enough to do it on his own - out of my love for my daughter I suppose I dont want her to be hurt so I make sure she gets to see him.

As I said - soft!

I can tell you what I get: £600 a month for one ten year old. And ex does all the driving (partly out of sympathy as dh#2 and I have long commutes and another child) and contributes towards shoes, school trips and other large expenses. No idea what ex's salary is but probably less than mine.

I have read about your good ex before, must be nice to have an amicable, respectful relationship.

It is partly due to me recently having number 3 that I am more and more sick of it all. It ist convenient anymore to be doing evening journeys when i should be home bathing and feeding the baby, she falls asleep in car which then messes with sacred bedtime!! Not to mention money being tighter.

It occurred to me the other day that he doesnt even know where her school is, probably not even the name of it.

Thank god she has my DH as well to bridge the gap - she calls him Dad and her actual Dad is "Dad at my Grandmas"

Agree with WWW - We pay around £600 for each child, we do the driving and contribute 'as and when' to other expenses such as holidays and school trips.

My ex and I had an arrangement where he paid £50 a week. When I had to clain income support, the CSA were automatically involved and their eventual assessment was the same, give or take a few pounds. He was earning about £23K at that time.

however, the amount of grief and aggro that they caused us in working out this amount was horrendous. It;s a good job we were on good terms as they tried their level best to sabotage what had been a good relationship until they were involved, and I'm still not sure I actually got all the money I was entitled to. You want to avoid getting them involved if you can help it.