Overstimulated mother trying to pass post qualification exams! Help!

[Helapaloosa]

I am currently studying to sit a post qualification exam which has been a long time coming and I have really been struggling to cope with my emotions. I have a 5 year old DS and 2 year old DD who are both very dependent on/ clingy to me. Despite my DH trying to help, the kids always want me for everything - meals, bedtime, showers. And it’s always me who has to think about everything, doing the laundry, making sure there is food, homework is done, kids are fed and put to bed on time. The only time I have to study is once the kids are in bed which is not until 9pm. I also have a chronic condition, so I am always tired and in pain a lot which has been exacerbated with the late nights and lack of sleep. My parents have been helping with the kids to give me time to study but it’s getting closer the the exam, I am not feeling as prepared as I would like and I am panicking. I had a practice exam session recently and I felt terrible with my performance. I know I can do better than that but the overwhelming feeling of panic, not wanting to fail and disappointing everyone who is helping me is making my performance worse. I need to try and calm myself down but it’s hard. When I’m not studying, I have the kids running up to me, arguing, crying or whining. I feel like I can’t catch a breath! I don’t want to delay the exam, worried I will fail but can’t bare having to revise like this for another 6 months until the next sitting

This is a very familiar scenario to me. You need to get outside help… parents, more childcare, cleaners, whatever you can avail of to get you through.
Then once you are done with your exams it’s a good time to rethink about taking on work/ study commitments. I have decided to put off my PhD until all my kids are in school at least. A clinical pre- doc with very young kids and being pregnant was horrendous and I promised myself I will never do that again. There were never enough hours in the day to do what I wanted and to preform to the best of my ability. I just about got though it.

Good luck, I feel for you.

Tbh, this is my final exam and then I have finished my training. I feel like I’ve put it off for long enough now and it’ll only get worse as the kids are getting older. I’m frustrated with myself for feeling this way. I know that a lot of it is me panicking and if I just calm down I would perform better.

Can you go and study elsewhere? I'm guessing medic, you don't have to answer that, but quiet room in the hospital e.g. Education centre or similar? Or a library, or even your parents' house?
I did my midwife training when my kids were little (similar ages to yours) and that's what I had to do if I wanted to study. I couldn't cope trying to study at home because as you say, they only want you, and you get sucked in to sorting out the laundry and dinner etc. I bet if you were not there, your DH would find actually he can sort it.

Best of luck x