How to stop retaliating (bullying someone back)

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Hi I'm a young mum, I'm looking for advice from an older person on how i can stop retaliating/bullying a girl who is also bullying me.

Said girl will say things about me and i will keep saying things back each day because i get angry again. It is a vicious cycle.

For example if she says one thing about me i will say 10 things about her. It is really time consuming. When i am saying lots to her she seems to stop saying things to me and it makes me look obsessed. But if I stop saying things she will purposely try to provoke me and get me to do it again.

I do suffer from mental health problems and I'm neurodivergent i was bullied viciously as a child and now i have a strong urge to defend myself but I can't stop.

How do people find peace and grow up, I'm 21 i know it's childish. If i am honest i look at her profile pages more than 10 times an hour to see what she is saying about me. The problem is 9 times out of 10 she has said something and i get myself angry.

Hope this makes sense. I just want to stop looking. Caring. Find peace and ignore. But I can't.

Thanks

Just to add she has said very evil things about my children and made up lies about me. This is one of my main triggers for bullying her back i want her to feel the way i did when she said these things. I want her to regret saying it.

You need to grow up Neurodivergent or not you have children having them witness things like this they will end up with mental health issues do you really want that?

Sometimes we need to take a step back and look at what's going on logically. It seems like you're feeding off each other.

You're reliving being bullied as a child and finally fighting back, I have no idea what her motive is. How do you see this progressing as it's not stopping?

You say it's exhausting and I'm sure it is. You're spending a lot of energy on this woman. Do you think that time and energy could be spent on something more productive? Could you take up boxercise and get fit while releasing some anger?

You need to stop OP because your behaviour is toxic. Perhaps look into counselling to process your past

Sounds almost like you are addicted to the drama. Only way to stop it is go “cold turkey”, no checking her Facebook, no talking about her, everytime a thought about her pops into your head redirect your thoughts to something else. It will take around 2 or 3 weeks and then the urges will pass. Stick with it and you will be free.

Take a step back and ask yourself some bigger questions: how do I want to feel in 30 seconds time? In 5 mins? In one hour? All day? Checking her social media won't achieve the feeling you want, so replace that action with something that does make you feel good: yoga or playing with your DC or tidying your home or listening to favourite music. Keep doing small things that help you feel happy or self confident.

What messages about being resilient do I want to demonstrate to DC?

What would a super-confident person do?

Block her on all social media. Decide her opinion is of no value to you and not your concern. It took me ages to really understand (and even longer to accept) the concept that 'What other people think of me is none of my business', but when it clicks, it's very freeing. You can't control her. You can control how or if you deal with her. You know the truth about yourself and your DC and anyone worth knowing will too, so focus on those people and build strong, healthy relationships elsewhere.

Why are you engaging with this? Sounds very immature. Stop talking to her at all. Totally ignore her. If she doesn't get a reaction she will get bored. You're feeding this

It's worrying that you have children yet still think and behave like a child yourself. Neurodivergent or not, you really need to grow up for the sake of your poor children. You are setting them a terrible example and they will be a nightmare in school if this is the sort of thing that passes as normal or acceptable in your house.

Please think of them. Block this idiot woman on social media and get on with your life.

'Drop the rope' OP. This woman can't argue with herself. Just delete Facebook, problem solved.

Yeah cold turkey is the way forward, you will feel amazing after a few days off it!