Advice on leaving London for Forest Row/Ashdown Forest countryside

[Aceofcups82]

Hi mums of the net

We're a family of two mums and a young child hoping/planning to leave London for the Sussex countryside in the next couple of years. I'm a born-Londoner who loves our stinky capital deeply, but is also very poorly suited to daily life here on a nervous system level.. and we want a different childhood for our little one.

We'd ideally like a more rural feel but in or by a nice village, and Forest Row appeals a lot due to the slightly alternative vibe, and middle distance between London and Brighton. We'll be commuting in to London for work once a week, and thinking we could do this from East Grinstead. Our max budget is likely to be 800k-ish, and we know FR is not cheap so this won't be easy necessarily.

But generally, does anyone have any real time advice on this all and what it's actually like to live in FR and/or the surrounding villages? Could it suit Londoners who've also lived abroad a lot, that need a more diverse and open community than is typically found in quintessential England? For some context, I have friends that live in the commuter Surrey towns of Redhill and Reigate and these places are not the right fit for us culture wise. I am also realistic about compromise when it comes to leaving the city though, and we'll still be able to get our London-fix by visiting family back here and coming in for work.

I have noticed the local FR primary school talks a lot about 'British, Christian values' and this worries me slightly.

With gratitude!

FR certainly loves it's reputation as alternative. Commuting from EG is perfectly doable. No idea about schools.

I think you will be bored.

I have noticed the local FR primary school talks a lot about 'British, Christian values' and this worries me slightly.

In what sense?

Forest Row is where the Steiner HQ is, they seem to present themselves as Right On but they are the cuddly face of National Socialism IMHO

I'm also intrigued as to why you are concerned about your child being taught British, Christian values? Unless you think that they are something other than the rule of law, individual liberty, democracy, tolerance, respect, forgiveness, kindness etc?

It would ring a few alarm bells with me as well

Commuting to London once a week should be no problem. My dad managed it every day when we lived just near there although I know he found that hard going. Apart from a brief visit a few years back (it’s gone upmarket a fair bit these days) I haven’t been there since I lived there growing up (80’s) But it’s a lovely little village imo with lovely countryside in pretty much all directions.

I had a holiday to visit a number of places in East Sussex and stayed there. Not the same as living there I would acknowledge, but I think it is a very 'Marmite' place. I would suggest careful research.

Forest Row is nice and as you say ‘alternative’.

However if you enjoy London, I suspect you’ll find it too quiet. Yes, it’s part way to Brighton but you can’t do it by train and driving into Brighton is horrific.

Commute wise definitely doable for once or twice a week, but trains aren’t hugely reliable or frequent, so doing it more often would become a chore.

Personally I’d also look at villages near stations that are along the London - Brighton route, easier commute and direct access to Brighton. So Hassocks, Hurstpierpoint, Lindfield, Ditchling, etc.

That’s not ’the local FR primary school’ though. OP didn’t mention the Steiner school.

All UK schools have to teach British values - it's the law!

"All have a duty to ‘actively promote’ the fundamental British values of democracy, the rule of law, individual liberty, and mutual respect and tolerance of those with different faiths and beliefs."

https://www.gov.uk/government/news/guidance-on-promoting-british-values-in-schools-published

I know FR fairly well, having grown up there & then returning after a period of time about ten years ago for a few years as my parents’ carer. I am very ambivalent towards it. It’s very beautiful but I don’t know that it has a cohesive community and indeed I would say that it is very Marmite.
Yes OP do your research very carefully to make sure that Forest Row is the place for you.

The primary school is CofE though - I would be very surprised if they weren't teaching Christian values.

Thanks everyone, this is super helpful. We’re also going to look at the villages around Hassocks now too. Im hearing good things, and I didn’t realise the trains from there were also only an hour to London.

And re the Christian, British values point - when placed front and centre and not combined with any other language/detail/values info around inclusivity, it could be a bit of potential red flag for more progressive-leaning folks and non-traditional families. But perhaps just a comms point.

Hi there, we are a family with two mums and just went to forest row today and liked the vibe too. I’m keen to know if you have moved. We loved it - but we are unsure of the primary school just yet as our child is 2.5 years old. Where have you decided on moving? We would love to know what liberal places you have found. :)

Not the OP but am familiar with the area. Ashdown Forest is lovely but not much going on in the area if you are used to London.

Hi @natlj, that’s nice to hear! Based on lots of chats with people who know the areas we are now looking around Hassocks (likely Hurst), and villages near Lewes (like Rodmell). Seems to be more diversity and it’s closer to the sea and Brighton for when babies get to teenage years. We’re not planning to move for another couple of years though xx

Hi everyone, just an update on this thread for anyone interested. We recently spent some time in Sussex, around Hassocks and the surrounding countryside. We also met up with family living in Eastbourne who know the whole area well, and who've recently put their two children through the schooling system.

Hurstpierpoint is very pretty but actually felt too microscopic for us - Londoners, so used to our anonymity🙃. As with many places like this the imagining is often more appealing than the reality. Surprisingly we preferred Hassocks - the high street felt more London highstreet-ish, but surrounded by lovely views of the Downs.

But we came to the conclusion we'll most likely rule the Sussex countryside out as a leave London option. If you're looking for something in a bigger town it seems like it's maybe possible to find some stuff a bit more reasonable than London prices (for context, we'd ideally be looking for a 3+ bed detached home with a large garden). But property more rural/countryside is super expensive - which seems to be the same for most southerly places to be fair. To make it worth it from a quality of life shift perspective we'd need more like upward of the £1m mark (at least), which is not the case. Added to that, we hear it's not particularly easy to find good state secondary schools.

Overall London has so much to offer, even in terms of schools in places, so any move has to be really worth it from a quality of life perspective. No point moving for a slower pace of life and more space only to be chained to a mega mortgage. So back to the drawing board - considering either staying in London, plus exploring the Kent coast (Faversham, Birchington, Folkestone/Hythe) a bit more. Bonkers how much housing costs in so many places these days. If anyone finds the elusive utopia, let us know (or maybe don't, because we'll all move there)!

I think you’ve made the right decision. Forest Row (and commuting from EG) would have been one hell of a shock for you. Yes FR is more progressive but it’s all relative, and compared to London I suspect you’re be very “this is progressive?!!”

I write this as someone who lives in London E1 but used to split my time between E1 and near Forest Row (Coleman’s Hatch actually) and commute to London from EG when I was down staying with my then boyfriend. Lovely place and so peaceful but you would probably go insane living there full time after London - and I write this as someone who grew up in the countryside so I’m used to quiet (and like it!).

Why don’t you have a look at Folkestone/Sandgate/Hythe and/or Cliftonville (hipster eastern part of Margate) as they may suit you better and prices aren’t as high as around the Ashdown Forest?

Hello! I am in a similar situation to you and wondered what you decided on @Aceofcups82 ? Would love any advice!

@Vic1102 we decided on the Folkestone/Hythe area in the end. For the coast, better connections to London and some good state secondaries.