I do get your point, never stay with a cheater but our marriage was in a terribly bad place due to alot of problems. When I confined in a relative , it was then I discovered his previous cheating history.
I believe in forgiveness, getting to the root cause of the issues. Eventually we split because I kicked him out of the family home to work on himself after cheating as I there was issues I didn't want my daughter exposed to (7 at the time). He just couldn't see how his actions were continuing to impact the marriage. He isn't a bad person but makes the wrong choices, find it hard to understand how those choices lead to bad consequences. Possible ADHD. Anyway he went to work away for past 3 years, during that period, i still couldn't cope with the lack of trust, he lost his temper few times, I cut contact.
After 6 months, we resumed contact but I know he was on dating site which he admitted. Whilst we were trying to figure a way out of this situation if we wanted to be together. He wasn't sure, he went hot & cold many times til I said I am done. If you don't want this no problem. I then found myself again, new job & buying my own property. He's keen to resume the relationship now. I am the one who is scared in case he is up to no good over there where he's working. Then he gets to come back and pick off where we left off unknowingly to me, he's still a cheat. However, I must share that our relationship is now better than it was before. We no longer argue, we communicate more effectively. I just have a niggly feeling I might be making a mistake if I go back to the marriage.
So that's why I was asking people if I should do a cheat test or hire a honey trap who can lure him in online as he's not here physically to test him.
I don't mind peoples opinions but pls don't judge me harshly. I am not naive but I don't like to speculate unless you have hard evidence.