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I’ve left my friend down when she needed me and I feel awful. Is there anywhere I can rebuild the friendship

3 replies

PerkyKoala · 26/02/2025 20:41

One of my good friends of about a year, told me a few weeks ago her dad had been diginsed with cancer. My mum had cancer a few years ago and I struggle to talk about cancer related thingd, but I let her know that if she needed me to let me know and I was there for her.

we did have a conversation about how our friendship had drifted the past month or so but agreed to meet up when we both could.

The following weeks i’ve really struggled with my mental health due to work/money worries and so kind of isolated my self. This meant that I went into surivial mode and only really spoke to people as and when.

i feel like a awful friend for not checking in and I messaged her today (several weeks after she told me about her dad), to check in and see how she was doing. I felt like I was in a better place mentally to support her, but know i had been a shit friend. She told me her dad had died two days ago and was angry that I hadnt reached out to her.

I’ve said that I completely appreciate her not wanting to speak/see me at all, and apologised for being a shit friend. I feel awful that I wasnt there for her, as i know if I had been in a better state of mind I would have checked in more.

she said she will message me when she’s ready to speak, but deep down I know theres no coming back from this.

Do i leave her alone or try and reach out here and there to check she is doing okay.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 26/02/2025 20:44

Leave her to it.

LunaLove1 · 26/02/2025 20:47

You had to put yourself first unfortunately but that doesn’t make you a shit friend. In time she may see it from your point of view.

Huckleberries · 26/02/2025 21:55

I doubt you can come back from it but it depends

how badly ill were you, did you know what stage he was at etc. Did she contact you in that time etc

lots of things really

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